We've been drinking since 4:30pm.

As we pieced together Saturday night (minus a couple of brain cells) on Sunday, Suave and the Master and I could only remember the following bit of info:

Pictures were taken. Sam's camera? No, no, no the Master's camera. Okay. Pictures are on the Master's camera. Got it. What are the pictures of exactly?

Suave says, "Weren't Sam and I singing and kick dancing to One from a Chorus Line?" Damn. Before of after the Red Bull and Vodka?

My Mom checked the VISA card that both of our names appear on this morning. My cell rang at 8am. "You spent $59.00 on Mexican food at 5:30pm on Saturday?? And you wonder where your money is going." Shit! Shera had us meet at Lauriol Plaza for her birthday at 4pm on Saturday. We had margaritas and sangria. The total was $26 a person. Not a brain working in that place. They couldn't figure out that we wanted more water. Then our waitress forgot to add in the cash we gave her for the bill and put $58 on my card when it should have been $6. I don't know if she was brilliantly devious ("Hell, she's drunk at 5:30pm, she won't notice") or a complete moron. I had her reverse the charge, but the temporary authorization still appeared on the card.

Jess's brother had a rooftop party on posh Chinatown condo complex. I was just at a party on the same rooftop about three weeks ago. A different person's party. It's the place to be.

There were two parties on opposite sides of the roof. I know ours was preppy and young. Really young. At one point, I do believe I introduced the Master and Suave to two cute boys in striped polos with popped collars only to find out they were my baby brothers age.

We are still unclear about why we walked to the other party. The music was calling us, I suppose. We were dancing. I don't know how we decided on dancing either. We were the only Caucasians at the party. Not only that, the party was gorgeous. The entire party. The women were all in stilettos and hot shorts or bodice dresses with the Beyonce-style curves. I was in a cotton shirt, flip flops, and a tank. The women were really nice to us, but I assume they didn't see us as much of a threat.

The host invited us to stick around and get some drinks. She was a stunning Asian woman about 20-feet tall with the most sultry skin and hair I've ever seen. She was dressed in a satin, fitted, leopard print dress. I'm surprised she saw us seeing as we came up to her waist. But she was so polite and nice. She really didn't have to be. She was honestly that attractive.

"Wait, weren't we told we had a Brother Contingency!" I said as the Master hushed us all to watch Wentworth Miller deliver the nominees for some Emmy category.

"Yes! And do you remember talking to a guy in a t-shirt with two unicorns humping?" I asked.

"No. What are you talking about?"
"I don't know. He was hitting on one of the boys, I think."
"Well, it's either APK or Ralph. They give off the biggest gay vibe."
"Nah. I know it wasn't APK. Maybe Ralph."

I remembered last night it was one of the Lost Boys. He was wearing a t-shirt that said I Love Party Girls. Gay dudes out there- Good HINT he's not that into you.

"Wait, didn't he get shunned by some of the chicks at the dance party for wearing that shirt?"

"Yeah, and someone's got a picture of him grinding with someone else. Shit. Who's camera did we use?"

"He also said he kissed your boob!" Suave informed her friend last night. "You didn't tell me he kissed your boob!"

"How did this come up in conversation exactly?" her friend responded.

"I don't really remember. I was in a cab with Peter, Ralph, and the Lost Boys. We'd been drinking since 4:30pm." Suave was forced to answer.

That's how we answered all questions from the evening. "Such a great night, but I don't remember much. We'd been drinking since 4:30pm."