Wednesday, March 01, 2006

America voted and...

American Idol. One of my very favorite things. I missed the first season while backpacking in Europe, but got back just in time to see the sing off between Kelly and Justin. Ever since then, I've been a full fledge fan. I vote. I vote many times. I grab other people's phones so I can vote for two people at once. I get pissed when I vote for the wrong person by dialing the wrong number accidentally. I get pissed when America votes off someone I like... even rebelling at one point and intentionally not watching the following week's results. My mother and I conference during the 8 million commercial breaks and hang up the second Ryan comes back on. I own most of the finalists CDs. It didn't even really bother me that Clay Aiken used incorrect grammar in the chorus of his most famous song ("If I was Invincible" should be "If I were...")
Yep, I'm a big loser when it comes to American Idol.

I guess I'm pretty much the reason that people who don't vote or aren't total AI losers can never understand how talented people often get voted off early and ugly, fat, or dorky looking people often succeed. That's because of me. I vote for those for whom I feel bad or for whom I want as friends. Generally, I hate people like Constantine who are arrogant. I also vote for anyone from Alabama regardless of my opinion on them. I feel like that's my American duty. I also tend to brag about the number of contestants from Alabama... and since, to my knowledge, I don't actually own Alabama, this really makes no sense whatsoever.

I usually hate the Barbie blondes. I gave them that clever name to make discussing with my mother a bit easier... ie "Oh my gosh, Barbie blonde totally sucks. Her boobs are so fake. Did you see Simon checking her out?" I almost always think they suck even when they don't.

This season, I hate Heather Cox. I don't really care how she sings. She's just wrong. Her hair is too blonde. Her skin is too tan. Her boobs are too padded, AND she almost always wears a tube top that is about to fall off.

I always love the sheltered Southern blondes, like Kimberly Caldwell and Carrie Underwood. I especially like when they give those interviews before they sing and mention that they wake up at 5am to milk cows or have never tried calamari.

This year I'm a total Kellie Pickler fan. She's just so darn cute. I really could care less how she sings.

Then there's usually the one girl I do truly see as the next American Idol. When that happens, I tend to vote so that when she wins I can say to people "Oh yeah, I called that and was voting for her from day one." And by people, I mean my mother.

I'm going with Katharine McPhee this time around. Especially since she's got the little bit of weight that we love in our female American Idol winners (Kelly and Carrie).

And then finally, there's always that really good contestant who other people, APK, really like and want to win, who I tend to not be interested in and secretly hope to see fail. I always route for the underdog. The talent seeking watchers don't actually vote. Ever. It's people like me who vote. And I like it when a fat woman who Simon attacked makes it all the way to the finals. So I guess, if you are watching wondering:

"But Paris Bennett was soooo good! How'd she get into the bottom 2? This show is so rigged!" Uh no. I'm just secretly hoping Kellie Pickler beats her... and voting for Kellie and Katharine.


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