Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Lucky Stroke

The good news is I know about my hypertension early on. The bad news is that it may be the cause of something else, like my kidneys not doing well or my heart being shaped funny. Or it could be just hypertension. I've been referred to a cardiologist. I'll let you know how that goes... well, not if I suddenly die of a collapsed kidney or whatever else... I'm too much of a hypocondriac to be having real medical issues. I'd prefer to think that my sinus infection was a brain tumor, thank you very much.

But anyways.

Last night SC and I went to hear a speaker at Sixth and I through the Jewish Study Center. The topic, What a Hamas government means. Yeah, you can tell I picked that, right? It was SC's idea, but quite enlightening actually. I'd probably have picked So Jewtastic! The dude speaking was great about not assuming all of us understand Arabic and work for a Jewish lobbying firm... so I learned my $10's worth and then some.

Afterwards, we decided to have a totally Jewtastic evening (you bet I'm gonna use that word like smurfarific from now on). We went to the 25-30 year old Gesher City cluster's evening at Lucky Strike. I'd e-mailed our RSVP indicating that I'm not much of a bowler, but I'm a great cheerleader from the side alley.

SC: Let's get a drink before we go find the group.
Me: Yep

(Waiting on bartender.)

SC: Yada Yada
Me: Yada Yada Yada
SC: No way! Yada

Random drunk dude two stool over from where we're standing is wearing blue shiny button down unbuttoned to mid-chest with stained wife-beater showing. Lots of chest hair popping out. Lots and lots of chest hair popping out. Hair style- Jerry Curl. Bad, shiny face. Ugly glasses.

Random Drunk Dude (to SC): Is that your hair I smell?
SC: No. I doubt it. Sam, yada yada yada
Me: You don't say. Yada?
Random Drunk Dude: May I smell you hair?
SC: No. That's weird.
Random Drunk Dude: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.
SC: No problem. Sam, yada yada
Me: You don't say. Bartender, Bartender???? Money over here.

Random Drunk Dude leans in to smell SC's hair. She should have accidentally thrown a fist at him. "Oh, I think you're smelling my right hook instead buster."

SC: Stop it.
Random Drunk Dude: I'm sorry. It's not that weird. It just smells so good.
SC: No it doesn't. Yes, it's weird.
Random Drunk Dude: Can I smell it again?
SC: No.

Leans in again. I order drinks. SC pulls out her wallet to get cash. I spot pictures.

Me: Oh! Are these your pictures? Let me see. Is this your sister?
SC: Yes. Look how curly her hair is? She does this and that and that and this with it when she gets out of the shower.
Random Drunk Dude: Can I see the pictures?
Me: No.
SC: No.
Me: Oh look at this picture. Where's that from?

Random Drunk Dude leans in again to smell her damn hair!

SC: Stop it!

He back off. Goes and sits down again. Five seconds later as we're leaving.

Random Drunk Dude: I didn't mean know harm. Your hair just smells so good.

SC: Uh huh.
Me: That should totally be a Herbal Essences commercial!

WARNING TO ALL GUYS: Do not try and sniff a girls head as a come on. You will forever be known to her and everyone else she knows and tells as Hair Sniffer Dude. AND trust us, that will end up being shortened to "The Sniffer."


Post a Comment

<< Home