OMG

About three weeks ago, I made APK watch Bring It On: All or Nothing. He felt noticeably emasculated, but also, a little turned on. I couldn't figure out where I knew Hayden Paniettiere from, so I went on IMDB to research. Ah, eldest daughter in Raising Helen. Woaaah. She was 17. I pointed that out to APK. His remark, "Thanks. Now, not only have I lost my dick, I also now know that I'm attracted to 17 year olds."

But anyways.

The movie's plot centered around a flaky, blonde, rich cheerleader who is forced to move to a primarily African-American high school. She joins their cheer squad. The movie was exactly how you might picture. But there was one quoteable line (you know, up there with the original's "Cheerocracy" line). "OMG, you talk in IM!"

LOL. BTW 2 FunE.

So here's my OMG comments on dating:

My single gal friends are experiencing major difficulties with completely (pardon my, unPC here) retarded dudes. What is it with men in DC? Do the constant painful sirens from the ambulances eventually make you dumb?

Sex on the third date.
If you believe your buddies that they regularly have sex on the third date, good for you. Keep amongst your buddies. Please don't announce that to a girl on date 2. Even if she was the type to do it, she will inadvertently opt to play hard to get with that piece of info. Also, don't hook up with anyone your buddy's banged. She's probably carrying an STD.

Breaking up on email is apparently hard to do.
It is never comfortable ending something. It is even harder ending something casual. It is totally cool to let something casual fizzle. You can just stop calling if you like or send an email stating some vague excuse... not over my ex, not into brunettes, changing careers and can't date. Just take some time to think about what to say if you choose to email. Opting for, "I'm going to be busy for the next couple of months" is way worse than just not calling again. WTF?

The great twin debate.
I don't know many men or women over the age of 20 who have a twin bed. I don't even remember how to hook up in a twin bed. Isn't that reserved for loosing your virginity in missionary? Apparently, my distaste of twin beds isn't justified. As a friend justified, he was in the army and away for 3 weeks then home for 2 and away again. He took the smaller room. I like that he's not into bringing girls. Uh huh. I'd take Marky Mark over the 40-year-old Virgin any day. But, I suppose, so long as there is a justified reasoning. I'd still probably be weary.

Secret Psycho Man.
I have come to the conclusion that the dating scene in DC is composed of men who weren't so attractive or cool in their teenage, possible college, years. The came to DC and either got better looks, more money, better clothing, or more power. Suddenly, they are picking up a higher quality of woman, and yet they have yet to discover social etiquette. One friend dated a guy recently who, upon looking at pictures from her recent family cruise, attacked her family for not visiting the state of Israel. All Jews should only vacation in Israel, apparently. My friend was also told that she assumes all Jews are upper class and reformed... according to a guy she'd known for a whole 5 minutes. She told him that they weren't a good match, obviously. A week later she heard from him. He wanted to know how she was. She told him she thought they were not talking. He couldn't remember what he said. "Good," I replied to this new information,"now he's moved from opinionated and unrefined to Psychotic."

Another friend met a boy who was totally into her. So into her that he asked her out on a date amongst intern season, which I'm told is big. She wasn't that into him, but she gave him a chance. She then wanted to just be friends. She now wants to strangle him. Among the many things that he has done to date: passed out in her roommates bed when he was staying with my friend, asked her, in public, if the Claritin she was offering to a friend was the Morning After Pill, emailed not-apologizing that this comment was completely valid since the MAP is now legal, and being upset that she doesn't want to invite him to things now. So now he's not just a drunken idiot. He's a Psycho.

Stalking Your Exs.
We all totally look up our exs on social networking sites. I mean, that's what they are for, right? It is something you can definitely admit to close friends, "My ex is a LOSER! Dude, he's still working in the same job and making no money and dating someone who's completely busted." It is something you can definitely admit to your mother, "OMG, Mom, you were so totally right about him. He is such a dirt bag beneath me." It is something you can admit to your dog, your coworker, the cashier at Safeway (if you must). It is not something you should ever admit to your NEW GIRLFRIEND. Ever. Even if you ex is connected to your new boyfriend via some random girl on Friendster and her profile is set to private so you don't know a thing about her. Just don't go there. Really.