Question Mark

Remember how in the last season of Sex and the City the writers had to have Carrie bump into Aidan with a baby and wife? That was for me... and just about every other girl I know.

We all have our question mark. That one guy who we threw away due to our own issues. That one guy who we always think about whenever another relationship goes wrong. That one guy who we beat ourselves up about taking for granted.

I'm lucky in that I generally resolve my question marks. I think it has much to do with not being a piner. I tend to get closure before I move on for good. But, of course, I had one question mark in DC. A guy who liked me for everything I pride myself on. I tossed him away fearing he was boring. It wasn't my greatest moment.

He told me he had feelings for me, and didn't understand why I was pushing him away. He cooked me dinner, brought me a present from his trip to Arizona, and sat around chatting with my friends for hours. I told him I was with someone else and wanted to be friends with him. He told me he "hoped you and this guy worked out great." That was it.

Talking to District Belle a couple weeks ago about whether or not I should email him, she said, "I've always believed there's no harm in exploring a question mark. What do you have to lose?"

I didn't. I couldn't. Working the way I treated him in my head made me see that I wouldn't want to hear from myself if the situation was reversed. So, imagine my surprise when he randomnly emailed me Monday. American Idol, which I made him watch, got him thinking about me.

Last night, we met up for coffee. We talked about our lives. He'd dated a 34-year-old after me. His brother had filed for divorce. His job now required him to wear a suit everyday. He gave up trying to keep Kosher (huge issue for me, the Kosher keepin'. I'm Southern. We like meat.)

We ended up going to Mimi's for dinner. After a glass of wine, we got to talking. We realized we knew nothing about each other's lives. I thought he was boring. Content to stay home with his buddies watching television on a Saturday night. He thought I lived like a 40-year-old. Cooking dinner for my friends and discussing politics. We were both at Blue Gin the other night about an hour apart. We both like to drink and go to parties on weekends. We both pretended to be something we weren't assuming that's what the other one was like... and guess what, the two of us had more in common than we thought. We never even slept in the same bed. We never did more than kiss. We never knew each other.

And last night at dinner, I realized that I wasn't interested in him, still, but I was more interested in him then I was several months ago. I realized that the reason he's been a question mark is because I had in my head he was someone that perhaps I thought I should be with. Turns out, he was exactly like the people I'm already with. I just needed to figure out my question mark.

He's a period now. Concluded, officially.