Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Withering Heights

APK informed me of a typical guy debate- Would a dude rather be 5 foot 2 with a huge you-know-what or 6 foot 2 with a tiny you-know-what?

This, in typical male fashion, probably ends with a decision that a large asset is more important than anything else in the entire world...

As a girl, here's my take on the topic.

There's a guy I know from college who's 5 foot 5. That's not super short considering that the average chick is 5 foot 4... but it's entirely too short for my best friends and I from college who are all in the 5 foot 7 range (on another note, how weird that girls flock together by common height and shoe size?) This guy is by far the hottest guy I know. He's just gorgeous. Everyone thinks so. He gets any girl he wants when he wants them. I'm told he's of average you-know-what. His looks are definitely what makes him most attractive.

There's another guy I know of through a friend in college. He's very attractive and about 6 foot 3. He makes tons of money and is very sweet. What do we call him though? We call him Pinky Man. Yep. He ended up sleeping with my roommate at one point. She was cool with his interest in me a year afterwards, but I was warned of his shortcomings. Infact, I was warned by several people, including his friends, of his shortcomings. And I didn't hook up with him. I suppose that had something to do with the fact that he had slept with my roommate too... but all the same, the fact that he was known for being small definitely played a factor. I suppose that if he'd been such a great catch it might have been brought to my attention over the fact that he was lacking in other areas.

And then there was a 5 foot 6 guy I was into Junior year of college. His dad was Portuguese, I think... something to that effect. He looked like Michael J. Fox, and yet was cocky beyond belief. I thought it was cute that he was a bouncer at a local bar. Seriously, who's going to take him seriously? But I was wrong. The guy was bigger than Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights. So I suppose I was attracted to his arrogance and confidence which apparently came from his knowledge that he was well-endowed. I didn't want to sleep with him. I actually thought it might hurt... and besides, I assumed that for him to know it was large, he probably was with his share of women... which made me think he was dirty... which made me stay away.

I know plenty of girls who prefer their men be average. Average height. Average looks. Average you-know-what. Personally, I don't like really tall guys. I think 6 foot is my ideal. I'm just not that into tall and lanky. Plus, I like looking like a model on someone's arm. And a guy that is too pretty is also an issue. Girls wear make-up and do their hair after they get out of the shower. Guys look the same from stepping out of the shower to waking up. I don't want a guy who looks better than me first thing in the morning. I'm the chick. I should be the more attractive one. And guys with huge you-know-whats don't know what they're doing in bed. They think they don't need to learn. A guy who's average probably knows how to use it.

So men, and APK, in my opinion... I'd want to be a guy who was 5 foot 10 with an average you-know-what.


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