I was drunk for most of this weekend.

I don't know if that's a good thing.

Thursday night, I met RG, JS, APK and his now ex- coworkers at the Morrison-Clark Inn for drinks and Southern food. The Chef got a watermelon this time (not a regular Morrison-Clark item) so he drowned it in Tequila and passed it out to all of us. Two slices of that along with 2 Sweet Magnolias and I was drunk. I stayed at APK's somehow.

Friday night, I met APK and the Master at Mille and Al's after their college alumni hour. Other than getting drunk, there's not much else to do at Mille and Al's. I've been there three times since I moved here. On the first visit, a group of very tall boys (6 foot 7 minimum) picked up two friends and I. They bought us cookie sheets full of Jello shots and flirted with us all night. No one went home with anyone. On my second visit, the same group of very tall boys proceeded to get a whole different group of us drunk on Jello shots and kamikazes. This time they said they played basketball for Georgetown. I believe they were most keen on Suave that particular night because from their angle they could see right now her shirt. On this third time, they tried to pick up the Master and her friends. I warned against them this time. I'm convinced either they are either:

1) Under age- this is the only place they can drink.
2) Date rapists/ STD carrying- hoping to get large groups of girls so drunk they get laid.
3) Hired by the bar to make everyone have fun.

Saturday, I went over to Sabrina's pool. Peter was getting off the Metro in Clarendon to buy a Togo for some party he was going to that evening. The store was closed so he came and hung out with us at the pool for a while. Some totally jacked dude was sitting in front of us in Marky Mark grey boxers reading The Washingtonienne. Not that there's anything wrong with a guy reading that book. It's dirt at it's best (full of butt sex and cocaine). I guess I just think it's funny to see a totally masculine man holding a pink book with a lacey bra on the cover. I mentioned this to Peter before realizing he was reading Sabrina's copy of Glamour from July. He informed me that I was one of the top 40 fashion don'ts of all times (wearing shaded bigger than my bikini). He then summarized an entire autobiographical article to me about a girl who got left by her parents on the doorstep of another families when she was a baby. He'd read his friend's copy of the magazine on his way back from the beach a couple weeks ago. The sad thing is, I'm getting use to this. All of this. Metrosexuality. I wouldn't be surprised if my future son plays with Barbies. Thanks Ryan Seacrest. Where's Macho Man and his Slim Jim?

I went over to Suave's at 9:30pm on Sunday night with 3/4ths of a bottle of Smirnoff watermelon. We drank it all in just under an hour. Decided Chief Ikes would be the greatest place to go. APK met us at Suave's, and we joined IH, JS, and VB at the bar.

Suave and I were fully drunk enough by the time we arrived to perfect our Care Bare stare... or fuck me eyes... whichever you prefer. We managed to gather a whole group of very nice looking boys from across the room. Reggie was the cute asshole. Neil was the clumsy flirt. There's always one Reggie and one Neil at these places. I left Suave to flirt and went back to dancing to Shakira. She came back over in just under 3 minutes pissed. "Their 23 and just told me I looked 29!"

We discussed this at dinner last night at Maggiano's in Friendship Heights. According to Peter, you should always say a girl looks 22. No matter what. During the conversation, the Master got carded by the waiter for her glass of wine. We asked the foreign and extremely polite waiter how old she looked. "Not a day over 22," he said. "Seeeeee," Peter remarked.

But back to Saturday night.

So Ralph and Peter and some of the Lost Boys met us out after their toga party. Well, they only met us after the pretty girl who broke Peter's heart walked in and was politely introduced to Suave and I by APK. One text message. Then, when Ralph and Tinkerbell arrived I believe I texted Peter "This is your life. Where are you?"

Tinkerbell is an interesting character. She's cute... definitely a firm 7 out of 10. She's apparently very fun and nice until she drinks. She drinks. Tinkerbell gets so drunk that she hovers on the side of whichever Lost Boy needs her not to be there. The thing is, if she didn't drink and hover, they'd probably all have crushes on her. She's got a thing for Ralph, I'm told, but only when she's drunk. Peter makes a sporting event out of it... he says, "Let's get as drunk as we possibly can and see what Tinkerbell does." My sort of sporting event... DRAMA. You don't get that caliber a show on cable.

Ralph thought VB was pretty. She is pretty. I love her. I was thrilled by this unexpected connection! Then, a bit confused because I didn't pick it out myself. I pride myself on my Yentaism. So Ralph wanted to talk to VB. He kept moving in, and Tinkerbell get following. Hovering. In her while, ruffled toga. Hovering. He ended up getting VB's phone number with Tinkerbell on his shoulder. I watched entertained with JS next to me.

I was hungover yesterday. Drunk three nights in a row. Not a good thing, but fun indeed.