5 things a guy should not say to the girl he's dating:
1. "You're getting the Chicken Club Sandwich and the onion rings? You should get the salad instead."
2. Girl: "Wait, did I hear correctly? Did your friend just ask where our friend, who likes him, is tonight?" (Note- Girl is someone who rejected the guy before you two dated. She also has a completely different look than you.)
Guy: "Yeah, he likes her. He always asks where she is. We have the same taste in girls."
3. "You don't look like anyone I've dated. In fact, I've completely left my taste by dating you." AND "I'm not that into breasts. Yes, I know you have better breasts than rear, but I'm really an ass man."
4. After meeting his parents, you ask what they thought of you. "My dad says he won't care one way or another about anyone I'm not marrying."
5. "Yeah, it was his loss for not coming out with your father. He lost out on a free dinner."
I have a new theory on why Southerners are more likeable as celebrities and politicians.
Pay attention- Southerners show pride in the state they are from. Take Paris Bennett at the American Idol Live concert... "I'm from the great state of Georgia. I want to take ya'll back with me." She sang, On That Midnight Train to Georgia. The highlight of Bo Bice's American Idol performances was when he got to sing Sweet Home Alabama. Ruben Studdard wore a 205 jersey announcing his area code in Birmingham, AL. Katharine McPhee didn't sing a song highlighting her California homestate.
If American Idol is popular because it sells the American dream, then perhaps Americans are more inclined to favor someone who's all American? Someone like Carrie Underwood, who had never left her farm. Perhaps, Chevy should pay attention... not worry so much about portraying their cars as something other than America. Maybe, in truth, Americans like America. Maybe we all wished we had never left the farm until something like American Idol or Washington called us to fame?
AND PERHAPS it's all something to do with diction as well. Katharine McPhee told the crowd on Friday night that she wanted to thank us for coming. Taylor Hicks said to the crowd, "Thank you for having me." Do you see the difference? While both are polite, one is much more humble than the other. Taylor's makes you think that you've done something wonderful for someone who is still just like you... still a guest in your city... still walking on two legs and drinking beer with his buddies.
I went to the Target in Arlington last night to get the last disposable camera I will ever own again (hopefully) developed (my parents bought me a digital camera, and I've finally moved into the millennium). I parked my car and got back into it 3 minutes later. Here's all that happened:
Walking to parking lott to sidewalk: Fat, balding man in broken-down, beaten up, paint-coming-off the-sides Cadillac: "HEY, HEY!" I don't turn. "HELLLLLO!" Beep. Beep. Beep. "Yes?" "I do auto body work. You need some." Me: "No. Thanks."
Walking fast... on sidewalk about to enter the store: 20-something guy with tattoos and body piercings. "Excuse me, are you well-spoken and non-violent." Uh. Me: "Why?" Him: "Well, we're doing this communications survey." Me: "No thank you." Him: "Fine, well screw you."
In door to store, up to counter of film center: Confused looking girl with black ink all over her hands and another confused looking girl giggling behind her on a portable phone. Me: "One-hour photo." Her: "No. We can't do that now." Me: "Pardon me." Her: "You gotta go to CVS." Me: "Why?" Her: "Machines broken. And we got lots of film anyways. No time now." Me: "What about next day? What's the difference in price?" Her: "One dollar. But we can't get it to ya by tomorrow. We got too much and the machine's broken. Go to CVS." Me: "Uh, okay."
So, I went down to Target in Alexandria. I left the store, drove down the street, and stopped at a red light. When I opened my pictures, I noticed the disc was missing. I turned around and went back. The girl apologized. I said, don't worry about it, not a big deal. She burned me a new disc. When I got home, the disc had someone else's pictures on it. So now I have to go back to freaking Alexandria. I should have gone to CVS!