Should breaking up be hard to do?

As I'm sure ya'll could tell from the last couple blog entries, APK and I have officially decided to take an amicable break.

We've been dating now for 10 months. He's helped me get over much of the leftover baggage from my past relationship with Jerk. Since knowing him, I have met some of the greatest friends in DC. I've deleted an old blog and begun this blog. He's dated someone for longer than he's dated anyone exclusively since high school. It's been a nice ride, but I think we both realize we might not be in love with one another.

I've never had this mature an ending to a relationship. I'm not sure what to do from here. I didn't even cry. I'm not jealous. Besides a minor loss of appetite (hallelujah, skinny jeans here I come!!!), I'm not really that stressed out.

I think we didn't let it get to the point of blow-up. That's always been my problem. I never walk away when I should. Guys find someone else. Girls get angry, even, upset. But I'm not angry. I don't hate APK. I don't even see why we can't be friends. If the primary reason it didn't work out is because of a lack of love, why is that even hurtful? Especially if we both feel the same way about the situation.

I'm staring at a strange path. One year ago today, I didn't even know that APK existed. I was still pretty emotionally destroyed from the end of the relationship with Jerk and the demise of the passion between BG and I. One year ago, I wasn't okay. But I'm okay now. I have amazing friends and a good job in a fun city. I've still not been to the Corcoran. Last night, I volunteered for the first time at the Christ Church soup kitchen. There's so much ahead and not so much behind. I'm not sure, but I think, perhaps, APK and I could be friends.

I'm friends with a handful of guys I've dated. Usually it requires a heated fight and time spent not talking at all. I don't know that APK and I need to do that. I don't know that I want to cut him out of my pictures or avoid parties he might attend. I don't know that we need to do that. Consider it an experiment, but I actually think, if you realize that the reason you're not together is because you make better friends than lovers, is it really that impossible to do?

I'll let you know. But in the meantime, my roommate and I are single (well, both on break) for the first time ever. Changes all around. I need to go buy some new clothes.