Scared Single

At a Junior League potluck last night, LW and I got to talking to 2 other girls... one who had just walked out on a 3 1/2 year relationship (engaged too) with a man who couldn't commit to being the family type... even though he talked that he wanted to raise a family, his actions always said bachelor. The other girl, at 22, was deciding whether or not to leave her college boyfriend of 3 years. She'd broken up with him once before only to find out during the break he'd slept with one of her sorority sisters. She felt like he didn't have the same career drive she did.

I gave the same advice I always give (with a little cringe when I thought about someone getting back together with a guy who'd slept with their friend).

If the problems you have with him or that he has with you are about integrity, you should leave. If they are problems like you don't like the way he dresses, you should stay together.

You'll be fine alone. Don't let yourself stay in purgatory with someone. A year and a half ago I didn't know DC existed... now, I've got all new friends, a better job, and had another relationship end. Trust me, you'll begin to get excited about fitting into your skinny jeans after a breakup.

You may not be able to give of yourself vulnerably to another person in the same way again, but you will be able to give of yourself. You'll just choose wiser.

LW said, "after a serious of monogamous relationships like Sam, I haven't been in one for a while. I've gotten so much pickier in the best way possible."

I won't bore you with all the rest...

After the talk, I felt the need to say, "I'm not quite as tough as I just came across. It is easier to give advice from this perspective." "You're still pretty strong," one of the girls said to me.

Those were some of the nicest words I've heard in a while. I am strong. What's so wrong about that?

I'm freaked out by rats, which I'm sure you know. Walking down the streets of DC, I would scream whenever I saw one and cling to APK. So last night, as I walked down N Street and saw a rat on the sidewalk, I decided to bite my tongue. I stopped for a second, then just kept walking. You know what? That rat heard me and was scared. He ran as fast as he could back under the porch of the house he inhabited. And I just kept on walking... because that's what you gotta do!