Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dress Undressed

I'm cheap about buying furniture. I tend to buy really cool looking pieces and "dress" them up. Take my dresser. I decided about 2 years ago that I had too much clothing and not enough room in my two closets and one dresser... back when Mom and Dad paid my rent for my two bedroom abode in Westport. So my mother found a deal at Sears on a 4 drawer dresser. Sounded fine to me.

The problems began with the drawer bottoms. They wouldn't stay in place and began buckling from the pressure of my tank tops. So I duck taped the bottom.

A couple of months later the white plastic paint veneer started to peel. Rather than strip the whole thing and paint, I got my ex to paint it a matte white.

After some more months, I spilt a soda on the top of the dresser. Somehow this managed to stain. I probably should question what was in the soda, but instead, I bought a throw to cover the top.

And then the drawer knobs started falling out. One at a time, the supposedly metal screws that held them in place began snapping in half or all together disappearing. So I bought new knobs.

When I moved to DC, I debated giving it away. But I brought it with because I was too lazy to organize giving it away, and I stacked my VCR, DVD, and television on top of it. As it started to bend, my mother offered to buy me another. I didn't feel like looking for another.

Finally, the drawer track fell out of place on the top drawer. I tried super glue and destroyed a wonderful tank top in the process. I came home from work last week to find that the top drawer had fallen into the other three making it completely impossible to open anything. I could have removed all my clothing then and there, but with some sort of autistic reaction, I continued to use the dresser.

I awoke Friday with an inability to find anything to wear. That did it. I announced that I must go buy a less crappy new dresser immediately.

$500 for a new dresser. That's about 3 pairs of premium denim.

So I'm going to IKEA. I found a great one priced at $69.99. I'll need to install knobs and paint it white. And this is my life.


  • At January 24, 2006, Blogger the belligerent intellectual said…

    Curious as to how you ruin a tank top with superglue. It's not like the stuff comes shooting uncontrollably out of the tube . . . I'm just saying.

  • At January 24, 2006, Blogger GreenEggsSamDC said…

    Tehe. After spending a good thirty minutes super glueing the damn track back in place, I had no patience to fold my clothes in methodically. So I shoved. And of course, one got stuck in the track.


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