Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Pop and Fizzle

I base the length of my romantic relationships on the distance between the Pop and the Fizzle phases.

When I first meet someone, I'm either attracted to them sexually or I'm not. I am old enough to know that the one thing you'll never be able to build up is sexual chemistry. But being sexually attracted to someone isn't enough grounds to start a relationship. There has to be a Pop.

A Pop is that moment after you've been getting to know one another physically and emotionally when you realize that you really can't imagine not being with someone. It's the point where you overlook whatever quirks put you off at first and start to focus on hugging and kissing your partner. You start to think about them during the day. I usually know I'm at a Pop when I roll over in the morning next to someone and am glad to see them in my bed... and then when I think about them in the shower... since I don't think about much in the shower.

After a Pop takes place, I am ready to commit to that person. Sometimes they've not Popped along with me, but that's not the purpose of this commentary.

I stay in my relationship open minded after a Pop. I try not to let my pheromones attract others. I try to compromise as often as my stubbornness will allow. Basically, I work really hard to insure that my relationship doesn't hit the Fizzle mark.

For me, the Fizzle usually begins with not wanting to hook up with someone every night that we're together (yes, I have extremely needy expectations when it comes to getting some action). When I start to loose sexual interest, I know it's only a matter of time before the Fizzle begins.

The Fizzle is extremely quick for me. I start to pull away. I stop being warm to my partner. I start to notice when their breath smells bad or when their outfit isn't up to my standards. I start wanting many girl's night outs. I don't dress up for the person anymore. As the girl that I am, I do everything in my power to insure that they don't want me.

And then after it Fizzle's, I dwell on the Pop for a while. I cry about the Pop. I go shopping about the Pop. I take long lunches with my girlfriends and wonder when the next guy will Pop with me. I forget the Fizzle entirely.

When APK and I have disagreements, I tend to wonder if this is the Fizzle... because I forget what a Fizzle feels like. I am sure deep inside of me there are all these repressed emotions from tons of Fizzles that I've just locked away... I'm waiting for some explosion some day.... but I think in my heart, I know that, on my end at least, our relationship hasn't Fizzled yet.


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