Trust

Wouldn't it be nice if romantic relationships were like normal friendships?

It doesn't matter who calls who, and how many times they call or text or email.

I don't care if my friend goes out with another friend some night.

I don't need countless hours of alone time with my friends.

But then SC pointed out that some friends do indeed treat friendships like romantic relationships... which is true...

"Where are you?" "Who were you with?" "Oh, so you're, like, best friends with so-and-so now?"

It all comes down to trust.

Trust is security.

For some people, trust must be earned. No one has it right away. Time and experiences share garner the attribute.

For the majority of rational people (including myself), trust must be lost. Everyone has my trust until they do something to loose it.

And in relationships, at the beginning, I have to believe that the person I am with will not hurt me. If I believe that they might, I'll never let myself open up. So, if we were to fall in love, they'd not be falling for the real me.

For me, security is the number on thing I seek out in a good relationship. I want to know that when someone is spending time with me, they can't ever imagine not having me in their life. It doesn't mean I need them to "sign a contract" as APK brought up in one argument we had towards the beginning of our relationship. I'm not an acquisition nor is a relationship.

But a contract isn't such a bad idea.

Here's all I want:

I want to know that the person I'm with sees some sort of future with me. Perhaps they're not sure I'm the actual ONE yet, but I want to know that they think quite possibly I could be.

I want to know that the person I'm with isn't just killing time with me until someone better comes along.

I want to know that the person I'm with likes me as a person and not just because they get to have me in bed.

I want to know that the person I'm with could maybe see themselves falling in love with me. Maybe not yet. But eventually.

I want to know that small fights won't diminish my relationship with someone. I want to believe that we can work out our differences in compromise.

I want security... that for the time being, I'm the person they want.

They'll have this right away from me. It's Trust.