Smokey the Bear
APK's moved into his new apartment. He's paying around $1300 for his studio. DC's prices are getting more and more like New York. Well, DC's prices and DC's building management.
So, before he even moves into his apartment, the Leasing Manager has written down the date wrong and has him moving in a week earlier than they agreed upon. Then, she went on vacation and, of course, left no one trained available.
They had sent a housekeeper to clean the apartment prior to his move-in. For some reason, this housekeeper did not remove the grime from the top of the built-in soap holders in the bathtub. He mentioned that to the front desk. They did nothing.
His apartment is next to another single-occupied dwelling. Unfortunately, Smokey the Bear is his neighbor. It's an older woman who never leaves the home. An older woman, who's balcony is drenched in half-dead greenery and shoved full of boxes probably delivered by the Home Shopping Network. She must smoke a cigarette ever minute throughout the day, because it seeps into APK's place. It comes in through the vents in the kitchen and the sliding glass door to the balcony. It comes in through the unused cable wire right next to APK's bed. It comes in through the air conditioning vent and saturates the bedding and futon covers.
APK bought air fresheners. They don't really help.
He's going to talk to the management today. He doesn't remember seeing anything in the lease about not smoking. I suppose no one assumes they'd be living next to Smokey.
His apartment faces an alley way. It shares this space with an assisted living home. Every weekday morning the trash comes at 6:30am. The never subtle trash collection truck. And every weekend, the linen truck comes for the assisted living house at 6:30am.
So basically, he can't fall asleep, because he's surrounded by smoke... and then he can't stay asleep...
In Episcopalian private school, we repeated a prayer that ended with something to the extent of "G-d will never give you more than you can handle."
I suppose maybe all of this is meant to keep APK away from his apartment and at the law school library. And besides, if this was New York, his apartment would go up $500 for having a quiet, homebody for a neighbor.
So, before he even moves into his apartment, the Leasing Manager has written down the date wrong and has him moving in a week earlier than they agreed upon. Then, she went on vacation and, of course, left no one trained available.
They had sent a housekeeper to clean the apartment prior to his move-in. For some reason, this housekeeper did not remove the grime from the top of the built-in soap holders in the bathtub. He mentioned that to the front desk. They did nothing.
His apartment is next to another single-occupied dwelling. Unfortunately, Smokey the Bear is his neighbor. It's an older woman who never leaves the home. An older woman, who's balcony is drenched in half-dead greenery and shoved full of boxes probably delivered by the Home Shopping Network. She must smoke a cigarette ever minute throughout the day, because it seeps into APK's place. It comes in through the vents in the kitchen and the sliding glass door to the balcony. It comes in through the unused cable wire right next to APK's bed. It comes in through the air conditioning vent and saturates the bedding and futon covers.
APK bought air fresheners. They don't really help.
He's going to talk to the management today. He doesn't remember seeing anything in the lease about not smoking. I suppose no one assumes they'd be living next to Smokey.
His apartment faces an alley way. It shares this space with an assisted living home. Every weekday morning the trash comes at 6:30am. The never subtle trash collection truck. And every weekend, the linen truck comes for the assisted living house at 6:30am.
So basically, he can't fall asleep, because he's surrounded by smoke... and then he can't stay asleep...
In Episcopalian private school, we repeated a prayer that ended with something to the extent of "G-d will never give you more than you can handle."
I suppose maybe all of this is meant to keep APK away from his apartment and at the law school library. And besides, if this was New York, his apartment would go up $500 for having a quiet, homebody for a neighbor.
posted by Sam.I.Am @ Tuesday, August 15, 2006
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