Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Introspection Thoughts

I'm making myself stay in this week (except for the movies tomorrow night with District Belle). When I spend this much time thinkin', I start being a bit sappier than usual... so if you don't feel like making a couple gag noises, don't read the below.

I've been offering much advice on introspection lately. It seems that this time of year has people staying away from constant external activity and looking more inside themselves. I suppose I'm lucky that I do believe everything happens for a reason. Some might call that view simplistic, but believing in reason helps me analyze cause.

The philosophy of the wisest man that ever existed is mainly derived from the act of introspection. - William Godwin

One of my friends is going through a breakup. He is spending time dwelling on why he has had the same romatic situation occur repeatedly. Basically, he finds a girl he might like who definitely likes him, and, rather than give of himself right away, he keeps her at a distant while he decides if he likes her. By the time he reaches a decision he wants to move forward, she has disconnected herself from him completely. The most recent breakup has him realizing he never got to know the girl he was dating.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results . -Albert Einstein

The point of introspection after a breakup is NOT to resolve feelings towards your ex. It is impossible to immediately switch your emotions towards someone from romantic to friendly. After a breakup, introspection should be used to assess why the relationship went sour and if the reasons behind its demise are repeated throughout your life. If the problems belonged to the person you were dating, why did you find that person attractive? If the problems were yours, how can you go about fixing them?

You can't always get what you want . And if you try sometime you find. You get what you need. - The Rolling Stones

Does every human think they are destined for greatness? I know that I've talked about this before on my blog. I always think of this Assistant Editor who worked with me at my first job. He was a 40+ year-old alcoholic who never graduated college, cheated on his wife so much she left him, and treated everyone at our television studio like they were out to get him. In an all-staff meeting, we had to go around the room and say one thing about ourselves that no one we worked with knew. I said that I'd spent New Years 2000 at a Widespread Panic concert in Atlanta.

"I'm a genius inventor," he said. "I am working on getting patents for all of my inventions so that I can leave this crummy job." I remember looking at him thinking, do everyone of us think we are meant for something more? Does anyone aspire to nothing? Perhaps introspection should really be about assessing our life and our choices as they areā€¦ do we WANT the people we date more than we LIKE them?

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.- Sigmund Freud

I tried to explain love to APK once. "If my brother needed one of my organs or he would die, I would prefer to die than live in a world where he didn't exist. That's why people loose weight and get depressed after they lose someone they love. They honestly don't want to be in a world without that love." His response, "Jewish Law states that you don't have to give an organ if means you'll die."

It is important to know how you define love. All people love very differently, and the type of love you need is not necessarily what your partner is capable of giving you. The most important lesson I've learned in the last couple years is that not everyone wants to fall in love in the same way I do. I'm sure APK will meet someone who compliments him, but the two of us would never work because we love very differently.

Nobody can hurt me without my permission. - Mohandas Gandhi

To know that the reason you hurt is because you care is perhaps the hardest thing to get over. It would be a sad way to live not letting anyone hurt you again. Karma is a wonderful thing. When you are hurt, look at who you have hurt and correct the problem. When I did something wrong growing up, my father used to tell me to stop with the excuses and come up with a solution. How will you make sure to keep the wrong people from hurting you again without locking your heart shut?

The goal towards which the pleasure principle impels us - of becoming happy - is not attainable: yet we may not - nay, cannot - give up the efforts to come nearer to realization of it by some means or other. -Sigmund Freud

Hope this introspection has helped you too!


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