Like, What's the 411?

In episode 2 of Clarissa Explains It All, Clarissa explains to the audience the meaning of the term "What's the 411?" "You know, like how you call 411 for information?" Throughout the show, she and her friends use that term. Nickelodean, educating the Shop 'Til You Drop-set everywhere (I loved that show! Go for the electronics aisle! Small boxes are always the best!). It's no wonder I got in trouble in 5th grade for dotting my I's with hearts.



I pulled the mattress from my sofa bed onto the floor and loaded it up with pillows, blankets, teen magazines, and candy for the girls. No half-naked pillow fights to report though boys. Sorry to disappoint.

I was up until 1am. Too much food. Way too much sugary junk food.



Vive on gchat this morning: I showed my friend the pictures, and he said "holy snack food batman that's a lot of estrogen in one room."

So, like, we totally prank called people last night. The Master suggested we order pizzas with extra anchovies and have them delivered to Peter and Ralph's apartments. One thing about getting older, you empathize with the delivery folk. Instead, we decided to have someone call Ralph and pretend to be a girl he met at Cloud on Saturday night. Caryn agreed to be the voice of "Clarissa." She had to say "What's the 411?" in the conversation.

On speaker phone-

"Hi, is this Ralph?"
"Yes."
"Hi Ralph. I met you at Cloud on Saturday night. APK gave me your number. I thought you were really hot and totally jacked."
"Oh, okay. I don't really remember you. What did you look like?"
"I'm short with long brown hair. Now I'm embarrassed that you don't remember me."
(Side Note: Ralph is usually only attracted to exotic girls. We wanted Caryn to say she was Asian. Kate pointed out that no one would describe themselves as Asian. Suave says, "Say you're from Taiwan." Kate says, "Clarissa from Taiwan. Who is named Clarissa from Taiwan?")
"Oh, okay. How do you know APK?"
"We're in law school together."
"Okay cool."
"So, what's the 411 with you?" (At this point, we've all got our faces in pillows trying to contain fits of laughter.)
"No much."
"Well, we should like get together."
"Sure. Maybe for lunch Monday or something? Coffee."
"Yeah. That sounds good."
"Why don't you email me this week?"
"Yeah, cool. What's your email address?"

We decided after the fact that she should have made her email address soccermom@gmail.com or bemybabydaddy@gmail.com ... spelling it out until he got it. Unfortunately, we didn't think that quickly. Bummer.

The Pea eventually called back Ralph pretending to be Melissa (aka Melissa Joan Hart who starred in Sabrina... we're original). Ralph had called APK who had declared he knew no Clarissa. Only APK would say, "Someone is stealing my identity." You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you. But Anyways.

We called Peter too, but he caught on pretty quickly (or so he says). Caryn was the voice again. Text from Peter after we hung up, "Might be a joke, but she's actually cute, I'd take that." She's free any day except Monday.


Are you a friend of Eye? She was most fascinated by a bunch of 3x5 half-naked 19-year-old men in Cosmo Girl on card stock designed for tear out to be distributed out as Valentine's Day cards. Expect half-naked jail bait to arrive from her around February 14th. She's just gotten into a fab law school for next fall. Maybe she can hit-up the Freshman dorms for some real life Eye candy. Shhhh... don't tell her man.


Suave, Vive, the Pea, and District Belle flipping through Bop magazine: "We are so old." "I have no idea who any of these boys are!" "This ones really hot. Is it wrong that I'm finding this one really hot?"

Caryn was able to fill us all in on the who's who of the ABC Family and Disney Channel line-up. Zac from High School Musical is dreamy. I said we should start one of the Mary Kate and Ashley websites for him. Turns out he is already legal. Born in 1987 that makes him 19. OMG, we are so old! According to, like, one of my mags, he so didn't sing all the songs in that movie. Taking a lesson from Jennifer Beals before him though, he confesses to his short comings.

Also of note? Me administering the "Is he a Heart breaker?" quiz in J-14 to Vive. Question 1: Is he popular? Question 2: Does he have a lot of after school activities (Drama, soccer, etc.)?


We gave up around the time it asked if his parents often grounded him for being out past curfew and instead consulted the Magic 8 Ball.



He TOTALLY, like, likes Vive. He's rad. I'm hoping he'll go skateboarding with her at the mall, like, later this week. His girlfriend can eat my shorts. As if she's even hot! Her Guess Jeans are soooo last season.


Ah, good times. Peace Out! No diggity? No doubt.