Monday, February 12, 2007

John Tucker Must Die so screw you Valentine's Day!

Nine people were supposed to come to my house for dinner Friday night. Three of those nine I don't know. It was a cluster dinner. So, those three people just didn't show up. No call or e-mail. They just failed to come. Seriously! I was so annoyed. After dinner, Eye and I met Vive, Jude Law, and their friends at Lucky Bar. I was entirely too exhausted to deal with the massive meat market scene. JK called and said she was headed to McFadden's for the CAN T-minus 60 Days Until Softball party, so I jumped in a cab and went to meet her. I saw my friend SW immediately. He'd been drinking for 3 hours. I, again, wasn't drunk enough to deal with all the drunk people hanging out. SW bought me a beer and then JK and circulated.

JK's friend: "How old would you say that girl right there is? Wait until she turns around."
Me: "Based on the tapered acid wash Levis and square-toed chunky heeled boots plus the Jennifer Anniston circa 1996 haircut, I'd say 36 or over."
JK's friend: "Wow, wait. You're like the oracle of fashion. She didn't even turn around. She's 39. How'd you know that all?"
Me: "Welcome to the life of a pseudo-bitch."
JK's friend: "You intimidate me."

I did absolutely nothing Saturday. I woke up around noon and lazed around all day until 8pm when I went to meet Sassy for a housewarming party at Taffy's. His new house is somewhere between Friendship Heights and Tenleytown. There's no reason why I'd have ever been there before. I doubt there's much reason why I'll be there again. Good thing the party was much fun.

Peter, Ralph, and company met us there. Taffy's mom came with a three-tiered chocolate cake shaped like a heart and drop oatmeal raisin cookies. Five or so glasses of wine, and I was dancing with everyone else in Taffy's living room to his record collection of Donna Summers, Abba, and Toni Basil. I know that vinyl is, like, totally cool and hipster, but changing the record every five minutes is a little much. I think iPods make for a much easier hosting duty.

Around 1am, I left with the Lost Boys and hitched a ride to Missdy's Love or Lust Valentine's Day party. Evite text:

LOVE or LUST?We're having an (ANTI) Valentines Day Party, that's right. We're taking all the good stuff : booze, candy, & chocolates, and getting rid of all the bad stuff: cheesiness, forced romance, and lame dates. So ha ha valentines day, screw you, we're getting the best of you and there is nothing you can to do to stop us. You, the invitee, are desired to help us partake in this Yay-Nay V-day Extravaganza. Please attend and enjoy the alcohol, food, decorations and games. All you have to do is get off your couch, put down that container of Ben and Jerrys, and for god's sake turn off that emo music. Put on your sexiest black and red attire AND get ready for all your valentines day dreams to come true and they WILL-we promise. Look at it this way, you'll have a blast and not have to spend tons of money on someone who may not like you or is already having sex with you...

Eye and I got realllllly into the decorations. I was so drunk. Dancing was fantastic. The Lost Boys left, and I stayed around until Eye and Jack Black were ready to leave. We all shared a cab home and annoyed the driver enough that he finally agreed to let Eye and I just jump out for no additional fee to Jack Black when he got back to Glover Park.

This morning, I slept through my alarm and missed seeing my visiting friend from NYC. I'm entirely too hungover still to call and apologize. I'll deal tomorrow. Suave had organized a brunch at Logan Tavern, and I called her around 10:30am. "I'm so hungover and have no greasy food in my house. Can I come meet ya'll?" "Sure. You'll be a whole lot of fun, huh," she giggled.

"Sam, you hungover?" BG asked. "Gee, what gave it away. Her slicked back hair or the no makeup. Or the repeated trips to the bathroom?" Suave giggled. Yeah, I was definitely not my best today. After bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant, I stopped at Blockbuster and picked up John Tucker Must Die and Material Girls (had the intention of getting Last Kiss, but couldn't think about using any brain cells). I haven't left the house all day. Yeah, I'm 18 again. Didn't you know? John Tucker Must Die is the greatest teen movie EVER, by the way. I laughed, I drooled over Jesse Mettcalf, I wanted to be Brittany Snow. Such a rockin' choice for a lazy Sunday.

Need sleep. Will write more tomorrow.


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