Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I'm Not a Very Easy Rebound

There was a time in my life when I enjoyed being the rebound. I know SHOCKING! But, there was something to be said for being everything a guy was lacking in their last relationship. I'm not talking about being the chick a dude spots across the bar while taking shots with his buddies and brings home the weekend after he splits with a girl. I enjoyed being the girl 2 or 3 months later who he dates because she's completely opposite of the ex-girlfriend.
This was before I talked to a shrink who explained to me that my knack for avoiding serious conversations was not me having a dude mentality or being a laid-back girl, rather it was my inability to process emotion and explain what I was feeling.
So, for a short period of my life, I found that being with a guy who'd spent the last couple months fighting with someone created an ideal situation for a fluffy and cozy mini-relationship. (I was also 20, so I wasn't really lookin' to start talking about procreation and Vera Wang).
Now though, I'm weary of getting hurt. I step into things way more cautious than I did at 20. I don't find it complementary to be told that I'm so much easier to hang out with than another girl. I don't want to be the backup plan. I don't open up until someone opens up to me. I don't get attached until someone is attached to me. Hell, I don't even call them until someone has called me! And, I don't know that I'm okay with being someone's rebound.
It's not that I'm out hunting for a serious relationship. I still need some time to be listed as single on my MySpace and Friendster profiles. But, I don't want to be in something that has no direction. I don't want to be in something that doesn't have the potential to grow into something more. It's a waste of the energy and optimism that I've just begun to rebuild again. When talking about dating people just to have fun, Suave remarked, "each one of them does take a little bit out of you. Just know that. After a while, they'll add up to zero energy."
Rebound no more. Advice to others? Let the ball drop if it doesn't make it in the hoop. Someone will pick it up again in the next game.


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