Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Buy me some peanuts and overpriced Cracker Jacks.

I don't care if I ever come back.

Last night, 50 of us went to the Braves vs. Nationals game at RFK Stadium. It was possibly the quickest game I've ever seen in my life. I arrived in the 2nd inning at 7:15pm. I left the game at 9:00pm upon it's conclusion. Here's what else I've got to say:

- $7.50 bought me 1 bag of peanuts and a medium soda. It could also buy me 7 items off the 99 cent menu at Wendy's. 7 items is a meal for 2-3 people. Since peanuts don't count as healthy eating, this argument is valid. Why does it cost so much? I know it's supply and demand, but how is this legal? What are the costs of the vendors? Are they privately owned? All these questions...

- Chipper Jones has the cutest tooshie in baseball. We were seated way far up in section 526 Upper View Box. APK pointed out Chipper on 3rd Base. I could see his perky little rump all the way from the nosebleeds. So what if he had an illegitimate child with a Hooter's waitress and is so arrogant he named his child with his second wife after the stadium he hit his first home run. The point, people, is that he's totally never settling down forever with one woman. Which means, I've got a chance to grab me a piece of that... tehe... I'm so bad.

- It's awkward taking pictures at an event. Evite is linked to Shutterfly and has this whole "Add a Photo Album" to your event feature. My parents brought me a digital camera when they visited. Okay, so it makes perfect sense to take the pics. Except, then you become the creepy Cluster Coordinator asking people to get together for pictures. I found myself explaining about 700 times... "So, Evite has this feature...." or " So, I need to take at least 20 pictures." I stopped at about 16 pictures. People are always happy to be in pictures, but then of course, they make you feel like you're planning on posting naked shots of them onto the internet.

- The Police were great ushers to the Metro after the game. While slightly Third Reich in personality, they managed to get us onto a Metro in just under 10 minutes. I have to give them props.

- What's with the vendors outside the stadium selling Braves hats too? I've always felt a bit bad for all of them. They have to sit in the hot sun screaming at fans as they walk in that they are selling real regulation hats (always signing they are fake) and Foakleys (fake Oakley's). Now, explain to me how they had the money to produce opposing team products too? I think they must be making more money than I assumed.

- I like that the beer guys sell Cracker Jacks in the stands. I assume no one buys Cracker Jacks. I get the peanut thing. It is a blast tossing the shells on the ground... thrilling... feels wrong somehow. But Cracker Jacks are gross. Does the beer dude sell them too because they are sold more for campy reasons?

Off the game for a bit.

The Button and the Bacon broke up. I heard from someone last night, a friend of the Button's, that he did something to her that was way outside the normal realm of acceptable. I'm thinking, hooked up with her friend??? Anyways, good for the Button. She needs to not date such a piece of fried crap.

The Master reports that the Bacon wrote an article siting my email with him. I'm still awaiting my forwarded copy.

He responded to a recent Evite:

Will try to make it, though it'll definitely be much later (don't any of you work?). As to the more fun than the Southerners, I normally prefer Southerners to [the new cluster he hopes to run], but because the former turned out to be vegetarians (?!), this one is clearly the better cluster.

1. He's obviously not so busy at work that he's capable of harassing innocent people and making half of DC despise him.

2. He doesn't get that most of us don' t keep Kosher and that I'm from Bama and most certainly not a vegetarian. Gesher City require the first meal in any cluster (even the one he'll head) be vegetarian. For a self-proclaimed smart dude, he's a bit of an arrogant moron.

3. Why mention to your new cluster that you'd prefer to hang with a different crowd? Do you think anyone gives a rat's ass?

4. Can someone please kick this guy in the balls and have him shipped overseas?


Okay, off to lunch.


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