Thursday, December 21, 2006

Matching up...

Missdy often uses the common analogy of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when giving romantic advice to her friends. Actually, that analogy is a bit dirty when you think about it...

But anyways.

Yes, I do think that Missdy uses a fabulous analogy for many of the romantic relationships I've had or my friends have had... unfortunately, I'm also starting to realize that not all round pegs fit into all round holes. Meaning, just because someone looks like they might fit, doesn't mean they actually will... which might help explain why so many people are just almost right.

I'm not sure how to help my friends with the round pegs that don't quite fit. Is it possible that a round hole can change? Or, is matching up easy enough to determine from the beginning? By believing that only one peg will ever fit into that hole, do you confine yourself to a life of emptiness?

Let's talk about almosts. Goodness, I've had so many almosts. My friends have had so many almosts. There's just always something missing. As a friend recently said about a beau she loves but doesn't think is the one, "I keep getting to that door of forever with him and just not wanting to open it. I shouldn't be hesitating to open it."

Agreed. Jerk was quite the almost. We'd named our kids (Eden and Cale). We talked about where we'd get married and honeymoon. We were at that door... and for some reason, neither of us could open it. He was a round peg. A very, very round peg that lasted for 3 years until one day we both realized we just didn't quite work. I think in the breakup talk he said, "We both keep waiting and waiting to get married, and the thing is, we both know, it just never seems the right time. Maybe it's just not right."

It's those almosts that hurt the most. You wonder if perhaps you could have made the hole bigger or skimmed the peg a bit more. The square ones just don't fit... and it is easy to move along towards a round. Another friend recently said about a girl who didn't work out for him, "she was the first girl in over a year who I could see myself moving forward with... matching with... and now, I'm back to square one."

I hate the feeling of being so smitten with someone that you loose sight of your goal to assess if you indeed match. And, I hate the first time you find out you might not fit perfectly. But, does anyone fit perfectly? Is it naive to believe that you won't need some WD-40 and a couple twists to fit any round peg into a round hole? I suppose it is the assessment of whether or not they've become and almost. Truth is, most of the time, you don't know they were an almost until you meet a match. Damn, life is certainly complicated.

Field trip to Home Depot anyone?


  • At December 24, 2006, Blogger greeneggmom said…

    Your generation analyzes too too much...No two people fit each other without some adjustments and that is an ongoing activity.


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