Victoria's Scandalous Secret

I've not been to Victoria's Secret in a really long time. When I was in high school, my best friends and I used to hit the semi-annual sales and stock up on matching bra and pantie sets... spending hundreds of dollars each year to guarantee that our lingerie matched (it wasn't until college that I figured out you could get one bra and a couple pairs of the same pantie). The irony, of course, is that at the time I was a virgin... TMI?

Over the years though, I've learned that being a size D has less perks than pluses. Business casual works better with smaller breasts... button-ups don't pop and cold offices don't show through a padded bra. So, I've now got a collection of not-so-sexy Maidenform work bras (aka minimizers). Just imagine having two five-pound weights taped up against your body all day. I do have a couple sexier silhouettes for nights out, but nothing like I used to own.

Enough about my chest. So the story of my Victoria's Secret experience today:

My black velvet demi bra strap popped this morning. Victoria's Secret no longer makes this style, but I figured I should replace it with an equally sexy black evening bra (yes, boys, there is such a thing) considering I'm single again and all.

I went to the Victoria's Secret on Connecticut near Farragut Square at lunch.

I forgot completely that I'm a DD at Victoria's Secret. I've yet to figure this out, but, yes, at Victoria's Secret only I'm a 34 DD. Playboy here I come (not).

I picked up a couple different styles on route to the dressing room... one with rhinestones, one with pink satin lining, one with polkadots and lace... and not a soul asked to help me out. I got to the dressing room, and stood, awaiting help to open the door. Note: the store was not at all crowded. I walked back to the showroom and asked for someone to open the door. FINALLY, someone did. Yet, she didn't ask me, "if you need another size, I'm so-and-so, ask for me." I worked at Filene's on the Cape one summer... you could totally get fired for not saying that to customers.

The cups didn't fit. My boobs were popping out all over the place. If I were 16, I would have been thrilled. Being 27 and on my lunch break, I was irritated. I heard someone being let into a dressing room next to me, so I popped my head out. "Hi. Would it be possible to get a couple of these bras in a 34 DD?" "All of them?" She asked. "Yes, I'm a bigger cup size here, I forgot." "Oh, so you want all of them?" "Uh, okay, well maybe just these two. I like them the best I think."

20 minutes later I was fully dressed hanging in between my dressing room door and the wall watching the sales staff chat with one another while customers wandered by... because, ya know, that's what they are paid to do at Victoria's Secret apparently. She returned at long last. "We don't have either in that size." "In any color? Is there anything similar?" "I didn't look. But you're dressed now. Why don't you go look around again?"

OMG! I wish wish wish I was joking right now folks.

"Well," I said, "You've completely wasted the lunch break I'd taken to find a bra. I think I'll just be leaving and phoning your manager." "Uh," she said. I think she said something afterwards to the nature of, "I could help you look," but I was out that door as fast I could fuming.

Funny enough, I just mentioned this story to a friend who said she was just in their last week and everyone working was rude to her too. They stood around and chatted to one another and ignored her. Another friend said they refused to help her locate something that might have been at a different store in the area. Oh, and another friend was told that the gift card machine was down indefinitely.

So, Victoria's Scandalous Secret... it sucks on Connecticut Avenue, and not in a good way...