Damn the man! Cheers to Sam.

Cheers to my first official weekend as a single woman... though it definitely was not free of drama.

Friday night, I went out with BG and two of his friends for a "boys night out." Except I'm not a boy. But BG insisted I act like one. When I mentioned that I didn't want an Empanada because I was officially on my break-up diet, BG jokingly snapped at me "Men don't talk about dieting. Stop." It was the first time I've hung out with the three of those guys together, alone, since moving to DC. On my first trip down to DC from NYC last summer, they took me to a party in the basement of the Big Hunt. It was decorated to look like Hell. You know your company must be entertaining when you have fun in the basement of a dive bar decorated to look like the worst place imaginable.

I met my Junior League Advisor and New Member group at Saint-Ex for brunch on Saturday morning. Not as wonderful as you'd think. We didn't even get a glimpse of the hottie chef who was in the Sexy Singles issue of Washingtonian back in June.

Last night, Jenny and I had plans to meet Grants Boy at Sonoma at 9pm then move to the Capital Lounge. I picked her up at 8:30pm, and we were planning to Metro together to Capital Hill South. On route back to my apartment, a white Corolla in front of me missing a rear headlight stopped before I could. I was going about 2 miles an hour, so the bump was nothing to severe. My car was fine, but his white bumper had marks from my car's grill. He got out of the car to come over. He had a couple gold fillings, a stained t-shirt on, and a hat turned to one side. Crap.

I called 311 immediately. It was just before 9pm. They said they couldn't estimate a time for me, but someone would be along shortly. The guy in the car told me "Nice car you have there. I know you probably are off to some hot date. How about you give me $50, and we can go on our way." At 9:30pm, I called 311 again. Someone had been dispatched, I was told. At 10pm, I called again. I described exactly where I was... a priority call had come across the system and so my dispatched car was not able to come. It shouldn't be much longer. They were low on Policeman that night. Jenny to that info, "Good to know if we want to rob a store or something."

At 10:15pm, I called again. "Is he trying to leave the scene?" "No, I hit him. But it's minor. We need a witness." "Someone will be there shortly."

A man in an SUV asked us to scoot up so he could park in an empty spot.

At 10:30pm, "Well, what's the physical address exactly?" "21st Street between Massachusetts and P." "A physical address?" "Fine, 1508 21st Street." "Someone was dispatched for you at 22:08pm. Should be there in a few."

11pm came slowly. I called again. "Look, I don't know what to tell you. You only called at 10:30pm. No one is dispatched to you currently. I will put it in now." "Holy Shit! No I didn't. I have a terrible cough that's making it hard for me to breath and need to use the restroom. We've been waiting for 2 hours now, and this dude's going to leave and file a complaint that I gave him whiplash. Can you not send anyone, campus police from GW? Foot police? I find it hard to believe there's no Police at all in Dupont Circle." "I'm sorry. Nothing we can do." "If you can't breath, we can send an ambulance. No Police can come though." Then she hung up on me.

The man in the SUV returned at moved his car. "They've still not come," he said. "Nope." "Useless. Then they wonder why DC has so much crime." I laughed.

11:15pm, I called again. A different operator connected me to the Supervisor. "You need to calm down or I won't talk to you. Put someone else on the phone or I'm hanging up." "Fine." "There's no one there to come around. No one's been dispatched. It might be a couple more hours."

I spotted to Police Officers down near the Starbucks on P and 21st. "I'm see two Policeman just down the street." "They're not their for you. No one's out for you right now." "Well I'm going to ask them to come over. You're useless." I hung up and ran down to the Policeman. They were very sweet. They finished what they were doing and came up to our accident. They made us exchange info. No form. No report. Nothing. How come 311 couldn't just tell me that?

Jenny and I had been making phone calls throughout the long 2 1/2 hour ordeal. We rushed back to my house, jumped in a cab, met Peter and the Master at Brass Monkey, and proceeded to take several shots.

I was picked up by a foreign gentleman with a horrid pointy Adam's Apple. "You have dangerous eyes," he commented. "Nope, not dangerous at all. Thanks though. Bye."

Peter told me my big red belt made me look like Minnie Mouse.

A creepy guy with pubes on his chin sat down at our table. "I have a girlfriend, but I think you're cute." "Uh, it's 2am, I wouldn't go home with you anyways. Sit and talk." I was drunk and bored... "Who's that? Your friend?" "Yeah, that's Peter. This is Jenny." "How do you know them?" "Peter for 10 months through mutual friends. Jenny, from home in Bama since we were 5 years old." Peter and Jenny were talking animatedly. "Peter's got Spirit Finger." "Huh," I asked. "Spirit Finger, you know like in Bring It On. Uh, my girlfriend made me watch it."

I then called the Mascot via Peter's phone to tell him I thought he was hot from Peter's Flickr pictures. He's on my hit list. I create a hit list after each breakup. It's a list of guys I would have been interested in during the time I was in a relationship had I not been taken. I usually don't get very far with any of them, but I do it more to keep me busy while I heal from the relationship. The Mascot is very attractive, though I'm told a bit dumb. I could go for that one for a bit. So, now he knows I exist and want to meet him.

Yeah.

We closed down the bar, and I headed home to pass out.

I had brunch with Pea, the Master, Suave, and Missdy this morning at Front Page. I found out that another guy on my hit list is known for having "seen more ass than a toilet seat." We liked that line so much we decided we'd like to use the line "She's seen more dick than a urinal." at some point on someone. I'll let you know who, what, where, and when.

Hope you had a good weekend. Again, I'm accepting applications for potential interests and also petitions against the DC police. I wonder if that new Dunkin' Donuts on 17th is to blame.