Piece of Clay

Everybody wants somebody to be their own piece of clay. True everybody wants somebody to mold them, shape them own way.

I was not myself when I was with Jerk. I didn't go out every night and enjoy meeting people. I didn't dress funky or spunky or trendy or fun. I cooked dinner about 5 nights a week. I treated myself to fancy cheese not fancy shoes. I didn't go to a single concert.

After we broke up, I said to my mom, "I think Jerk was in love with the idea of what I could be, not me."

My question- Is Marvin Gaye right? Does everyone want someone to be their own piece of clay?

I redressed Jerk. At 26, when I met him, he still wore those Old Navy shirts with the Charlie Brown stripes down the center and light wash GAP tapered jeans. I slowly started to buy him shirts I liked. I settled on a bunch of Polos, mainly, because they were an easy transition being cotton and all. Then, around 6 months, I purchased him his first pair of designer denim. He got cashmere as gifts from me too. And, an outlet trip convinced him to trade in his parka for a pea coat.

When we broke up, I announced to my friend Tait, "Crap! Now I have to redress a whole new guy!" Tait, "Or, ya know, find a guy who can already dress himself."

Yeah, she's right. I'm far too exhausted at this point in my life to want to, as Adelaide sang in Guys and Dolls, "Marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow."

Is it too picky to write someone off because, although you know you like them, you'd want to change them? And, along that line, what flaws are too big to be overlooked?

I always say: "There's always another guy and another party. Never feel the need to compromise yourself." Am I wrong? Clearly, I think I'm right. It is my opinion after all.

But, what is a deal breaker? If you don't like tuna salad, and the guy you date is on a diet that has him eating it twice a day, do you end it? Do you assume it's an omen of much differences?

I'm honestly asking here. I don't know. Should everyone want someone to be their own piece of clay?