Friday, April 28, 2006

Mallrat Tese

discover your dog breed @ quiz meme

Temperament- Uh huh... so this is what I'm like?
The Maltese is spirited, lively and playful. Gentle, loving, trusting and devoted to its master. Highly intelligent. Good at learning tricks if he feels sufficiently rewarded. Bold and quick to sound the alarm in case of suspicious noises. It is a classical companion dog; graceful and lovable. They do well with other animals. Maltese love to play outdoors but have a penchant for jumping in puddles. A bath must follow! These dogs can be snappish with inconsiderate children and may be difficult to housebreak. Sometimes they are picky eaters. Include small biscuits and dry dog food in this breed's regular diet to help the teeth stay strong and healthy. Do not over-pamper or overprotect these little dogs, for some become unstable, and some may become jealous of visitors.

Cinco de Mayo Shabbat Style

Tomorrow night my Shabbat Cluster is meeting at my apartment for our 5th dinner together. And, because I'm a complete moron, I decided to change the evening into a theme. Cinco de Mayo.

The problem?

A) I don't know how to cook anything that doesn't have meat in it... well besides salad and pasta. Our meals must be vegetarian. Thus, my phone call to APK while in Safeway today went something along the lines of "Okay, I'm from Bama. I know I say I cook all the time, but honestly, I cook with meat. What the hell do I put in a veggie faijita?" Luckily, APK is well-versed in these veggie Shabbat dinners. Luckily.

B) I don't know how to make sangria. I drink plentttttty of the stuff. At Ella's for happy hour. At Cafe Citron for happy hour. At... well you get the point. But here's pretty much the conversation that took place between me and the dude in the liquor store. "Hi. I have a question about ingredients for sangria." "Huh." "Do you speak English?" "Yes." "Oh, k. Sangria." "Like Spanish drink." "Yes." "Here's a book." "Thanks." "K. It looks like I need brandy, wine, and triple sec." "Here." "I don't know that I need such a big bottle of brandy. I only need an ounce per bottle." "Better deal." "Yes, but I don't drink Brandy." "You should." "K. I'll just take the smaller one, thanks." So, we'll see how this thing ends up. Probably not the best idea to get a recipe from the actual liquor store. I have this thought that my drink may be very very very strong.

C) I've never ever ever bought refined beans. Imagine my shock to see a vegetarian option in the cans. Hmmm, I thought, what's in refined beans that's not vegetarian. Oh yeah- Lard. Actual Krispie Kreme/ Oreo scandal lard. Great, there goes me ordering refined beans at a restaurant. Not that I ever did. But still.

D) Salad or no salad? Yeah, basically tomorrow night I'm going to gain 500 pounds. Chips and salsa and Toll House chocolate chip cookies for afterwards... because salad and accessories for salad were way more expensive. Looks like I won't be fitting into my jeans come Saturday.

On another note, I'm not sure how cleaning ladies are always so chubby. Honestly. I scrubbed down the kitchen, vacuumed, swept, mopped, dusted for about 4 hours tonight. That's gotta burn some calories right. Now one would think if you did that all day every day, you'd be looking at a pretty good workout. Just saying.

Anyways, that's all. I'm tired.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

From SC

told a coworker the story about [The Sniffer] and he said they used to have a shampoo called "gee your hair smells terrific"

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Lucky Stroke

The good news is I know about my hypertension early on. The bad news is that it may be the cause of something else, like my kidneys not doing well or my heart being shaped funny. Or it could be just hypertension. I've been referred to a cardiologist. I'll let you know how that goes... well, not if I suddenly die of a collapsed kidney or whatever else... I'm too much of a hypocondriac to be having real medical issues. I'd prefer to think that my sinus infection was a brain tumor, thank you very much.

But anyways.

Last night SC and I went to hear a speaker at Sixth and I through the Jewish Study Center. The topic, What a Hamas government means. Yeah, you can tell I picked that, right? It was SC's idea, but quite enlightening actually. I'd probably have picked So Jewtastic! The dude speaking was great about not assuming all of us understand Arabic and work for a Jewish lobbying firm... so I learned my $10's worth and then some.

Afterwards, we decided to have a totally Jewtastic evening (you bet I'm gonna use that word like smurfarific from now on). We went to the 25-30 year old Gesher City cluster's evening at Lucky Strike. I'd e-mailed our RSVP indicating that I'm not much of a bowler, but I'm a great cheerleader from the side alley.

SC: Let's get a drink before we go find the group.
Me: Yep

(Waiting on bartender.)

SC: Yada Yada
Me: Yada Yada Yada
SC: No way! Yada

Random drunk dude two stool over from where we're standing is wearing blue shiny button down unbuttoned to mid-chest with stained wife-beater showing. Lots of chest hair popping out. Lots and lots of chest hair popping out. Hair style- Jerry Curl. Bad, shiny face. Ugly glasses.

Random Drunk Dude (to SC): Is that your hair I smell?
SC: No. I doubt it. Sam, yada yada yada
Me: You don't say. Yada?
Random Drunk Dude: May I smell you hair?
SC: No. That's weird.
Random Drunk Dude: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.
SC: No problem. Sam, yada yada
Me: You don't say. Bartender, Bartender???? Money over here.

Random Drunk Dude leans in to smell SC's hair. She should have accidentally thrown a fist at him. "Oh, I think you're smelling my right hook instead buster."

SC: Stop it.
Random Drunk Dude: I'm sorry. It's not that weird. It just smells so good.
SC: No it doesn't. Yes, it's weird.
Random Drunk Dude: Can I smell it again?
SC: No.

Leans in again. I order drinks. SC pulls out her wallet to get cash. I spot pictures.

Me: Oh! Are these your pictures? Let me see. Is this your sister?
SC: Yes. Look how curly her hair is? She does this and that and that and this with it when she gets out of the shower.
Random Drunk Dude: Can I see the pictures?
Me: No.
SC: No.
Me: Oh look at this picture. Where's that from?

Random Drunk Dude leans in again to smell her damn hair!

SC: Stop it!

He back off. Goes and sits down again. Five seconds later as we're leaving.

Random Drunk Dude: I didn't mean know harm. Your hair just smells so good.

SC: Uh huh.
Me: That should totally be a Herbal Essences commercial!

WARNING TO ALL GUYS: Do not try and sniff a girls head as a come on. You will forever be known to her and everyone else she knows and tells as Hair Sniffer Dude. AND trust us, that will end up being shortened to "The Sniffer."

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Frustration Today-

> -----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 1:14 PM
To: Sam
Subject: hi how are you?

haven't talked to you in awhile? you feeling okay? it has been a busy last week and this week at work but the work load will die down once i crank stuff out. are you watching lost without me? how was your weekend? i went out for a drink with [2 random friends AAAK always talk about but never invites me out with, who aren't even friends with one another] after work before calling it a night on friday though later than i wanted. i wasn't planning on staying late at all...i had an early tee time on sat for golf (painful playing in the rain) you play?thought i'd you have clubs? in any case, quiet movie night on saturday. how was your weekend? what'd you do?weird story [since he knows I already know this and am pissed at him through a mutual friend]... [girl i grew up with in Bama. Not best friends with her, but would like to see her all the same] was supposed to come in last weekend (she did but didn't really call follow up with getting together). she is supposed to leave today so i'm assuming there'll be no overlap.

were you friends with [girl the girl visiting is cousin's with who lives in DC who I also grew up with] at all? in any case, there's a happy hr tomorrow [which our mutual friend put BOTH of our names on the same e-mail to tell us about so he knows I'm already going] i may go to? any interest in coming? i'm not sure what your plans are? i can send the details... [which I know you already have. This will take a lot off my chest. I know I need to invite you out more, but I just don't care about anyone other than myself.]

write back when you get a chance [since I know you're pissed at me and didn't return my call when I found out from our mutual friend that she told you I'd asked her to see the girl visiting but not you.]


My Reply 1:

All is well.

Been quite busy at work preparing for Trade Shows and the Gala in June [You suck]

Yeah, [Our mutual friend] mentioned she might be seeing [girl visting]. I grew up with [girl visiting and her cousin], would have been nice to see them.

Tomorrow night I'm going to a HH already, possible the same one as you if you heard about it through [mutual friend]. APK and I had planned to go.

Glad to hear all is well with you.

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:21 PM
To: Sam
Subject: Re: hi

that's cold hearted but i'm used to the highs and lows by now.[ AAAAK, you pretentious, condescending, asshole] it's good to know that when you have a problem with a friend you communicate it to the person as opposed to third parties [ yeah and your little, shit I got caught by mutual friend and now you're not talking to me] so you are always on the same page. that makes a lot of sense in resolving disagreements [no disagreement, you're an asshole]. guess you missed that part of the conversation the last time we chatted...

i'm guessing you're all worked up [girl visiting]. [I'm an immature, careless prick and I can't think much larger than the actual obvious rationale] frankly speaking, we can discuss in person (since email is most of the time a poor conduit [I'll use a big word so you know I'm smarter than you.] to communicate since things can get be misinterpreted) but it's hard to remember the last time you guys associated with each other. in fact, i didn't even know you were friends with either them in high school. [Because I'm a self-important asshole that thinks I'm the only one anyone ever cares about. I'll take for granted that you've invited me out with people I barely knew purely for nostalgia sake. But, I need to justify my actions because I suck.]

the difference is i wouldn't been in a tizzy [No tizzy. I didn't say a word. You responded. Cold-hearted is FINE by me. You're not really worth a tizzy.] if i didn't see [my friend from Bama who visited a few weeks ago and who I included AAAAK in seeing even though they were never ever friends] a few weeks ago; i hadn't kept up with him for years other than the fact we grew up together. why would i have any right to get pist [you're not worth spell check] if you guys had a weekend and i never got a chance to catch up.

[girl visiting's cousin] lives in DC...i'm sure you could find her info on friendster [thank you Sherlock] or whatever search is possible. it's not my intention of precluding you from getting reacquainted with people you happen to know in high school. i haven't seen her in years...[girl visiting] sent me an email a ways back saying she was coming in but i didn't hear again until friday afternoon. [and I firmly believe that she only wanted to see me because I'm a self-centered prick]

if you have an issue with someone, usually you tell them to alleviate the situation. otherwise, why both with games...let me know if you want to grab coffee to talk/catch up. otherwise, don't let this become another excuse just to be mad at me. if it is legitimate, let's straighten it out.
otherwise, forget it. [yep, forget it. You suck!]

My Reply 2

I don't even want to bother. For justification reasons.

The differences between you and I are quite substantial. Were you friends with [friend of mine who lives in DC from Bama] in high school? [friend of friend who lives in DC from Bama]?[friend of mine who visited DC a few weeks ago]? [another friend from Bama in DC]? But I want you to see them and I want me to see them.... To catch up. Because unlike your thinking, I think of you when I think of Bama. I'm not sure why you'd ask [mutual friend] to see [girl visiting] but not me, but that's fine. I'm not about to struggle over it. I could find [girl visiting's cousin], but I'm not looking to be her friend. It would be nice to see her if the situation presented itself. I wasn't best friends with [girl visiting], but I have known her for almost all of both of our lifetimes... Same with [friend of mine from Bama in DC]. Notice how I always ask you to come along?

But it's not a problem. I don't come top of mind. Or, perhaps I do, but you really don't care. There's no use in discussing over coffee. It's just the way you are to me. It doesn't get better... Even one rebonding after another. I thought we were good after [last time we spent time together], but of course, again, you'd forgotten about me until [mutual friend] mentioned it to me. And how catty- your phone call and e-mail only after you found out she told me. Geez, with friends like this who needs enemies.

Anyways, I'm not happy but as you said before, I just don't care anymore. You don't ever think about me.[ or anyone else!] Ever. And that's just not a friendship I'm content with. I'm sure youÂ’re a wonderful friend to [list of 4 people he'sconsistentlyy telling me he's suuuuuuch a good friend to] and whoever else... But to me, you hurt me more often than people I'm enemies with. For now, I'd just prefer to see you out when I see you out and be there for you if you have an emergency. I'm just spent. You're still invited to my party [ I'm not a bitch, and you're not worth my time] and I don't plan on any scenes or what not... But I'm sick of including you in my thoughts and plans when you don't ever do the same. [You suck!]

Friday, April 21, 2006

APK's building's social committee through a posh wine and cheese reception last night for the residents. Nice, right? We went to Alero afterwards for faijitas. Why do hostesses always feel the need to be rude? Honestly! I mean we know they're making minimum wage without even a tip.

But anyways...

We're planning the trip down to Mobile now. I swear, I gain a minimum of 5 pounds everytime the plane lands in Mobile. The food is just so damn good in the South! Especially where I'm from. It's Cajun and Southern. We're located right near New Orleans and Biloxi, so our cuisine is less fried and more sumptuous. You do know Mobile originated Mardi Gras? Yes. We're the original Mardi Gras, New Orleans is just the tourist trap that gets all the press.

So my Mom made reservations for us at Felix's Fish Camp. My favorite thing about the menu is the Moon Pie a la Mode dessert. Mmmmm. Bubba wanna a moonpie?

There's also the Dew Drop Inn. It's the oldest restaurant in Mobile. It's rumored that Jimmy Buffet wrote "Cheeseburger in Paradise" about the food there. They still dye their hot dogs pink. They still serve corndogs. The waitresses still call you "Sweetie". If I were going to die of high cholesterol, I'd want it to be because I ate too many meals at the Dew Drop.

I was talking to a girl last night from the Florida panhandle about the quirkiness of growing up where we did. I 've learned to fully appreciate the State Farm and the Mustard Festival and pink hot dogs. I love road side flea markets and Medieval Themed Markets. There's nothing more entertaining than the water tower in Gaffney, SC that's shaped like a giant peach (the Peachoid) or the Spam Factory. The quirkier, the better. She told me of a parade and festival in Columbia, SC dedicated entirely to Okra. There's a good one in Bama too. I told her about the NPC Eleanor Herman book reading on May 15th where the author will be dressed in 16th-century attire to discuss, with slides, the sex lives of Royal families throughout history. Seriously? Can you beat anything so fabulous!

My favorite hotel is the Malaga Inn in Mobile. It was 2 house built exactly identical right next to each other by twin sisters who couldn't bare to live apart once they were married.

There's a huge iron statue in the center of Asheville, NC that rocks! Have you ventured on the fastest speedboat in Ocean City, MD?

I wanted to take APK to Williamsburg, VA for his birthday in June. At the Colonial Williamsburg houses, you get to stay in the village in one of the old houses, taverns, shops, etc. that's been converted into a hotel room. I was going to request the oddest conversion they had. I'm told there's a room created in an old utility room. He didn't find this as highly entertaining as I did. The girl last night had a cousin who worked in Colonial Williamsburg, in 18th century garb, as a silver smith until last year.

Nothing says Arizona like the sourdough bread loaves sold at the Arivaca, AZ bakery... off the side of a highway about 10 miles from the Mexican border.

You do know my father and I went to a dude ranch in Arizona to ride horses, right? No TV or cable to internet. An actual wrangler. Brad. He lost his leg while hunting and had a wooden one. He had a crush on me. We stayed in the suite that the second John Wayne used to frequent.
El Rancho de la Osa. Now that's Americana at it's best.

Perhaps after a couple of pink hotdogs, APK will feel the southern love of all things odd and unusual.

Here are 2 of my favorite road trip shots:

That's me in front of the Gaffney Peachoid in South Carolina. It looks a bit like a large tooshie in person.

This is me in Bowie, MD for the 4th of July Bowie Baysox game. Complete with fireworks and a Whoopie Cushion world record contest. Everyone in the stadium had to sit on a cushion at the same time to try and win the number of simultaneous cushions that went off at once. We lost by 2 or 3 I think.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


Oh great, no wonder I've been cloudy.

Top 10 Allergy Capitals: Misery Heads North

The Allergy and Asthma Foundation of America has listed the top 10 spring allergy cities in the country. In years past, most of the worst cities for allergies have been in the Southeast, but this year several northern cities top the list.

The AAFA 2006 spring allergy capitals are:

Hartford, Conn. Greenville, S.C. Boston Detroit Orlando, Fla. Knoxville, Tenn. Omaha, Neb. Sacramento, Calif. Washington, D.C. Baltimore

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Telephone- The Game

I was a HUGE fan of the game Telephone when I was little. Do you remember it? It is one of those simple gameboard-less games lacking a Mattel or Hasbro logo.

Everyone sits in a circle (as with all childhood games which I swear were created entirely to keep children orderly) and one person whispers something into the person sitting next to them's ear like "The rose was really red." It's imperative that the whisper be soft. The person next to them then whispers it to the person on the opposite side... who whispers it to the next... and so on. The last person in the circle says whatever the phrase has become to the group. The main goal is to pick a phrase that will no doubt be changed in passing. My favorite was always "Pluck your chicken or the feathers will grow to long." It was almost always messed up with a cuss word by the end.

As mentioned in previous entries, my baby brother and I have the same strange sense of humor, and Telephone was the funniest thing ever.

I think I'm living in a Telephone game. Everything gets a bit lost in translation. As in-

APK and I have communication issues. This seems pretty normal in heterosexual relationships. I've dated enough to know that you WILL have the issues, so what's truly important is that you are able to communicate about the communication issues. Mainly, you just need to be able to say to the person, "I don't get what you're saying, but here's how it is coming across."

My mom says that everyone in my generation over analyzes too much. It's probably true. We think like Carry Bradshaw, ie "But I wondered, are we over analyzing?"

My parents have invited APK and I down to Mobile. I asked, "Would you want to come down to Mobile for a weekend sometime?" to him while driving up to Philly for Passover. He said yes, but more notably, suggested Memorial Day. I guessed the response would be more like, "That sounds like fun. Let's talk about it more once we check our schedules."

While in Philly, I spoke to my Grandmother about the significance of bringing APK home with me. I've not brought any boyfriend other than Jerk home with me. My Grandmother was proud of me for seeing my family as such an important part of who I am. Thinking about all of this, and talking to a couple friends, I realized that I should mention to APK that he would be meeting the most important people in my life. I wanted him to make a call as to whether or not this was something he was ready to do. Not saying that we'd get more serious or that we'd be together forever afterwards, but putting out there that this was not something I did with everyone I dated.

In the meantime, APK mentioned to his parents that he might be going down to Mobile with me. His father jokingly asked, "Are you planning to ask for her hand?" OBVIOUSLY this was not the case. Any man I marry will have met my father on more than one occasion before even being aloud to propose. AND he will most definitely be purchasing his own plane ticket. AND he will have full knowledge of his impeding proposal.

I mentioned that my mother had found good tickets, did we want them?

So APK told me his father asked him the above question. Then he made a comment in later discussion that he wasn't sure of my intentions of the trip. He mentioned that he wouldn't sign a contract stating that he'd be with me in 6 months or a year. Good Lord! Who said anything about contracts? How do I know I'll want to be with him a month, let alone a year! How do I know that Prince William isn't out there right now looking for me? Come on, seriously????

I talked to my mom for an hour-and-a-half. We discussed past relationships. We came up with motives for APK's actions and comments. We came up with solutions like my parents coming up here instead. We talked about how great I am and pretty I am and independent I am and all that other stuff one discusses with their mother to make them feel better.

With a bit of level-headedness, I went into conversation again with APK via e-mail. One e-mail into the talk, I got defensive again, of course.

"Hello! I've got enough self-esteem to avoid tricking, cornering, and pressuring guys into giving me what I want. You are lucky just to have me, thank you very much. I wouldn't marry you now, I barely know you, how do I know you're the one for me! If you think that's the type of person I am, then you're not seeing me for who I am. AND FURTHERMORE...." You can imagine the rest, but it all went around those lines.

Then APK got defensive.

"Well, if you don't want me to come, I fully understand. I understand now that going to Mobile is not the same as going away to North Carolina or Virgina Beach for the weekend. I know it's important to you. I didn't want this trip to be indicative of a "higher step" in our relationship. Let's talk more in person about it."

I shot back another e-mail.

Then another from APK.

Then another from me ending with "I don't know where this leaves us. My heart is in my stomach. Sorry for the dramatics. It hurts a lot."

APK's last e-mail read something like, "It means a lot to me that you would want to share your home with me. I understand you don't corner someone you care about. I know that the word contract was incorrect. Let's plan the trip as we were and talk more Thursday in person. "

One more long APK phone conversation last night. My mom found good tickets she'd need to purchase by this morning. Conversation ended with, "so let's go to Mobile. I don't want you to misinterpret anything else I'm saying."

To my mom, "Yeah, we talked about it. We're good to go. Thanks for purchasing the tickets."

All that drama for a three sentence phone call.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Man vs. Man

I've been a bit obsessed with the natural instincts of lions since visiting the National Zoo with my cousins a month ago. It's a bit embarrassing to admit, considering I still make fun of my friend DF regarding these two months of his life senior year of college when he was completely into Dinosaurs again.

First off, I love the idea of man stripped down to his basic instincts before guns and college degrees came into play. I read something once upon a time about what society would look like today if only the fittest survived. I think often about the book The Hatchet from my 6th grade summer reading list. For those of you who didn't read it or forgot it, it's the story of a boy who's plane crashes on an island. He survives alone with only a hatchet. It's sort of like Lost without all of the corpses and flashbacks.

BG came over last night for more Lost Season 1. We're still only on disc 4. Such a good show.

But back to lions. Female lions group together in prides. Only one male is allowed per group. If there are multiple men, they're usually brothers. When a new male wants to come into a pride, he must kill off the current male AND kill off that male's offspring. One could say women, by nature, gather in groups by instinct. We are also more likely to find comfort in our friends and family then in a guy.

Secondly, I'm obsessed with the idea that man changed his own nature as an animal when he created guns. Survival of the fittest gathered a whole new meaning. Suddenly, it's not how clever your mind is for attack or how strong you are, it's how easily you can shoot. Besides, a healthy and strong man could survive attack, but shooting someone in the heart or head will kill them regardless. We are no longer animals. Our nature has changed. How many of us would you honestly stick in the woods alone? I'm sure we've all read the same thing about all of this, but I'm apparently alone in obsessing over it.

So, you've now learned that I'm a dork who stays in on a Saturday night to watch Lost AND has a random lion obsession. I'll start wearing a bag over my head in public.

Did you know monkey's have sex all the time? HEL and I picked up some book at Urban Outiftters on how animals do it. Just a random piece of information.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Lost at Long Last

I got Lost on Saturday night, finally. BG came over to barbecue and watch Lost Season 1 on DVD courtesy of SG. First, on the barbecue, ain't nothing else like charcoal cooked chicken and especially now that Rockland's barbecue is selling their sauce at Whole Foods. Yummy. We use Martha's Everyday Food recipe for the tomatoes. So good, just cut vine tomatoes in half and toss in 3 tablespoons olive oil with some salt, pepper, and thyme. I'm hungry thinking about it.

But onto Lost. OMG! We were up until 5am watching the show. We stopped mid-disc 3 just after Locke's found the steel under the earth, and Charlie's announced their are "others" who have kidnapped the pregnant girl. This show is seriously addicting. I think we're actually going to finish some more tonight. I never quite understood why SG and AD and others kept leaving happy hours to go home and watch the show. Now I get it. Who knew that something without Tyra Bank or a Bachelor could be so damn entertaining!

Only side note. Not much sex in the show. What's up with that? Does it come later? I sort of want Kate and Sawyer to discover a coca-plant and get all messed up and go at each other. Wouldn't that be hot! I'm way into Sawyer. Leave it to me to be a fan of the mega-asshole.

Also, did you hear that "ain't" is in Webster's? This made be really old news, but I'd not heard it till my Grandmother told me. Actually, considering she's warning me about not stopping for police officers if they come after me and instead going to a police headquarters to pull over... perhaps this happened back in 1992 as well.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Sexual Feelings

Uh, here's proof that sex sells.

It took me 3 weeks to get through Kristin Gore's Sammy's Hill. The book's lead character was working on Health Care policy for a member of Congress. A bit slow.

It me 3 days to finish Jessica Cutler's The Washingtonienne. The book's lead character, based on Jessica, slept with powerful DC men for money. So entertaining.

Needless to say, I'd prefer trash to academics any day.

I went to Philly Tuesday night after work to stay with my Grandmother for Passover. APK's from nearby too, so we drove up together.

I slept an obscene amount. No idea how. My Grandmother's sofabed is about 30 years old, and the heat stays on in the apartment all year round.

Matzah causes constipation. Just so you know. I think they should come up with prune-infused Matzah.

I met APK's parents on Thursday night. They took us to Tangerine, a delightful Moroccan restaurant in Old City. Very cute. The food was excellent. APK's parents were excellent as well. I suppose coming from a relatively seamless family background, dealing with the disfunctional families of guys I date is just nothing for which I'm prepared. It was nice to finally date someone with a good and stable family life. I have a habit of dating men who's mother's passed away. I don't really know how to deal. I talk to my mother once a day, at minimum. I talk to my grandmother 3 times a week, at minimum. I've got my own problems and would never denote myself as 100% stable, but family just isn't one of them.

Today's weather is gorgeous. BG's coming over to BBQ and watch Lost season 1 on DVD, loaned to us by SG. I'm thrilled to see what the whole craze is about.

That's all. No news is good news, right?

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


On Day 2 of no smoking.

A bit jittery, but seeing as I'm an anxious person, not so bad. Worse things in life, ya know, like stroke and heart attack and lung cancer. I'm okay.

I actually stayed in last night even while knowing a party was going on. Figured putting myself in a situation that would entice me to smoke was not the best idea on the very first day of quitting. I figure by the time I get back from Philly on Saturday, I'll be good to go out.

Talked to HEL last night. He's now in Florida for work. Heard a rather inspiring story about kismet.

Our friend JFJ brought a pretty girl who went to another one of the private schools in Mobile to a Mardi Gras ball. HEL hadn't met her before. JFJ and pretty girl remained friends, but HEL and pretty girl clicked. HEL had a chance to hang out with her one night in Mobile before he moved up to Georgia. Within 30 minutes of being alone together, they were both completely smitten. They kept in touch off and on. Fast forward to HEL's trip to Florida from DC on Sunday. He had a lay over in Atlanta and went to the Pascal's in the airport for some food and drinks. Thinking of pretty girl, he texted her to say hello. As he was texting her, a message came in from her. She said she was in the Atlanta airport on a lay over back to Mobile and just wanted to say hello. He texted her back that he was there too, in Pascal's. She was walking by the restaurant and called him immediately. Upon catching up, they realized that they'd both just come from DC. She was supposed to go to SC's birthday at Local 16 with the friend she was visiting, but they ended up missing it. She showed him her digital picture of the guy she knew who was going. Turns out he's a buddy of APKs who HEL hung out with Local 16. They made plans to meet when he's in Biloxi for work in the coming weeks.

Kismet? I think so. Don't you love it when movie moments actually occur!

Going to Zorba's Cafe with IH and SC for lunch and sun then off to Philly tonight through Friday for Passover.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Stubborn Through Life

On a trip to Cape Cod, I decided I no longer wanted to nurse. My mother, having read a dozen "Raising a Child" books, knew that it was too early for me to quit nursing. But I didn't want to nurse anymore. I began to bite her every time she tried to feed me. Confused, she tried to give me a bottle, but I declined with great resistance. Only a cup would do, and so at 10 1/2 months old, I drank out of a cup.

During the early years of my life, this behavior continued.

My parents were worried that I would never potty train. I didn't cry when my diaper was wet or dirty, even if I was knee-deep in my own waste. Imagine their surprise on a 3-hour family road trip to New Orleans when I announced that I no longer wanted to wear a diaper. My mother, thinking of those childrearing books again and the nice leather interior of her car, suggested that I might want to make this decision once we were closely nearby a restroom. Luckily, my Bubby was in the car with us, and told my mother to let me do as I pleased. We pulled over and bought my first pair of panties. I had one accident while sleeping several nights later, but other than that, I was fully potty trained at 26 months old.

I was sent to a speech therapist in Kindergarten for saying my "S" like "Th." I sucked two fingers while holding my blanket, Nanny. Picture holding bowling ball. Middle finger up in the air. Strange, I know. The speech therapist showed me a picture of an old lady with her tongue sticking out. She'd said that's what I would look like if I didn't give up the habit. I gave my mom my blanket and stopped sucking my fingers that night. Vanity, my deadly sin.

As I grew up, the stubborness became a more repressed personality trait. Only when challenged did I jump at the chance to prove myself.

In 8th grade, I decided I wanted to act. My dad told me, as politely as possible, that I didn't have a very good singing voice. I knew this to be true. I'm vain, but not completely vacant of self-awareness. Regardless, I insisted on trying out for Annie at a local professional theater in Mobile. I made it into the chorus. While acting turned out to be something I didn't particularly love, I was in at least one musical from 8th grade until I graduated high school, and my singing voice still sucks. My dad loves that story.

Lately, I've become much more driven to get what I want.

At 24, the television show for which I'd been working the past 2 years went on hiatus. I went home to Alabama to plan my next move. I decided I wanted to work at a magazine. More specifically, I decided that only one of two major magazine publishing companies would work. My dad thought I was insane and insisted on my studying for the GMAT so that I could get an MBA. I e-mailed every person I knew asking them to forward on my resume to anyone they thought might have a connection to one of these employers. Sure enough, a friend of a friend of a friend knew someone. I went up for an interview on a Monday and began working at the magazine the following Thursday. That's pretty much the story with DC too. Decided I wanted to move here so I did.

Needless to say, for my friends who doubt my resolve to quit smoking for good…? If history tells you anything, I'm stubborn and determined this time around. Plus, the IV from the ER left these horrid bruises all over my arm. Tacky. I look like a heroine addict. Even if the resolve fades, could you ever imagine me being okay with such blemishes?

What's Up?

Been a bit since I wrote. Apologies. Here's what's going on in my world:

Quit smoking today. Done with it. I'm wearing my patch. It appears to be working. The last time I quit I was resentful of my ex, because in truth, I was quitting for him. I didn't really want to not be a smoker, and thus, I started smoking again upon Day 1 at the magazine. Now, a year later, I just don't want to smoke anymore. My blood pressure is insane. I have early heart disease in my family. I find the habit embarrassing. My dad really wants me to quit. I want to start working out again. And so on... I looked in the mirror yesterday, after smoking my last cigarette forever, and said to myself "You are a non-smoker." And that I am.

Went to the Hotel Hershey to help run a work function. Such a gorgeous hotel. I had chocolate for breakfast. Yummy. Milton Hershey is one interesting character. He didn't lay-off even one employee during the depression, although he used the depression as an advantageous situation and put them to work for cheap building the Hotel Hershey, but all the same.

HEL came in town this weekend from Atlanta. It was fun hanging out with an old friend. We tried to go to the Spy Museum on Saturday, but it was sold out. Who knew?

I had a great fortune from my Mr. Chen's cookie on Saturday night.

It is better to have a hen tomorrow then an egg today.
I assume it was referring to my smoking. I'll let you know.
Interesting comparison occurred Saturday night at Local 16. It was SC's birthday, and the guy she's dating (who's now overly apologized and hopefully gotten back on good terms with her) was almost not going to come to the party after saying he would. He didn't text or call, AND his roommate and friend, APK actually, were in attendance. Upon waiting in the bathroom line, I spotted a girl puking in the sink. She ran into the stall before she had a chance to clean it up. I took a paper towel and turned on the sink so that the room didn't begin to smell. When SC's boy still hadn't shown up, I was able to point out that, while I could deal with an accidental puking in the sink, I could not deal with such classless behavior as not showing up for someone's birthday. That to me was intentionally disgusting. He did show up afterall and apologized. She knows better now though.
APK's ex-whatever (since he's not really been serious with anyone since high school) was a bit of a prude apparently. It's rather surprising to him that he's learned she's subsidizing her non-profit salary by selling sex toys at sex toy parties. I'm hoping this isn't turning him on or anything. But anyways, one of his good friends went to one of these parties and referred to the girls who go as Friendosauruses. This is my favorite new word! For those of you who were as clueless about this definition as I was, a Friendosaurus is an ugly girl that other girls hang out with so that they look more attractive. I don't have friendosauruses, because, honestly, I'd rather be known as a clan of hotties anyday. However, I definitely know the type of girls who hang out with these people.
And that's the scoop. Hope your day is going well.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

An elderly person dressed in a really slimming outfit...

Blood pressure hit 167/116 yesterday. Called the doctor. He told me to go to the ER. I'm 26-years old. A heart attack seems highly unlikely. Regardless, when my blood pressure reading showed intense hypertension, I was seen almost immediately. They put an IV in, just to be safe, which I'm sure didn't help me stay relaxed for the next reading. Apparently, if I was 45, I'd most likely have been having a heart attack. An EKG, two x-rays, a slight scare over my blood clot bloodwork coming back a bit irregular (what the hell sort of medical term is irregular mean- like they'd be sold at the outlets?), and a catscan later, we determined that the birth control pill had given me chest pains by escalating my blood pressure (also, the medical term Angina is just plain wrong). There are some rare symptoms of hypertension, even though it's known as the silent killer, and my body reacted with dizziness, insomnia, and chest pain. Go figure. The doctor put it best by explaining that I should imagine that my blood was really stressed about work, but my body was chilling on a beach somewhere. So now I'm on hydrochlorothiazide.

The backstory- I started taking the birth control pill about 3 weeks ago Sunday, got a sinus infection the following Sunday, went to the doctor that Monday, blood pressure reading was at 138/104. Doctor asked what I had been on recently and asked me to start monitoring my blood pressure. The following Thursday I started having chest pain and got dizzy at work so called the OB/GYN who told me to stop dating the pill immediately. 3 chest pain bouts later, saw my doctor this Monday. Blood pressure was even higher. Told me to monitor it some more. Didn't order tests. Woke up at 4am from chest pain. Took pressure which measured 166/99 (while sleeping). Yesterday at work, called doctor while uncomfortable. Told me to go to ER.

So I've decided I'm an 80-year old trapped in a 26-year olds body... like that Meg Ryan movie Prelude to a Kiss.

More evidence?

1. I like Frank Sinatra a lot.
2. The Golden Nugget is my favorite Vegas hotel.
3. I buy wide shoes (width of D) because my feet swell throughout the day.
4. My favorite shoes are either Ferragamo, Burberry, Easy Spirit, or Naturalizer.
5. I love TV Land- particularly The Dick Van Dyke Show, Leave It to Beaver, Donna Reed, The Patty Duke Show, I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, Green Acres, Mr. Ed and The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
6. I like American Idol, because it makes me think of what it would have been like to watch Johnny Carson when the Beatles first performed.
7. My bed is dressed in a bedspread (not a comforter) made of toile. I have always had euro shams.
8. I prefer antique furniture, like cocktail tables and sconces, over modern pieces. Even the 1970s is too modern for my taste.
9. I don't drink beer. I don't remember how to tap a keg.
10. My dream house is an old home in a small city like Savannah or Charleston.
11. I very much intend to dress in matching outfits with my children and have a portrait actually painted.
12. I still believe that Thank You cards are a must.
13. I would prefer to send invitations to a party via regular mail, but I know that Evite is more convenient.
14. I fully believe in historic preservation of communities. I don't believe that we should tear down historic properties in order to make room for residential and commercial development... even it means lowering my rent.
15. I don't go home with guys from bars. I require that I am taken on actual dates.... which I'm about to do now. APK's being cute and taking me to Georgia Brown's for dinner.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

About a year ago, my mother recited the most recent Mobile, AL gossip to me during one of our daily conversations. It seems tragedy is constantly plaguing the people with whom I grew up. That week, a girl my baby brother had gone to school with had lost her mother to a tragic, sudden death. When the daughter had entered the mother's wake, she had dropped dead from a heart-attack herself brought on by actual heart break.

Yesterday, I learned that a girl with whom I went to school was currently mourning the death of her mother. The mother had been diagnosed as bipolar, and at one point in my years in Bama, had broken into houses in their neighborhood and cooked breakfast in each of them. Her husband had stayed with her until the children were both in college, and then he had left her for another woman. The story of her breaking into the house was rather humorous to a teenager. I remember joking with my mother that if I ever became manic, I'd prefer to shop lift from Barney's like Winona Ryder. Unfortunately, I can't have the same light heartedness over pain and suffering as an adult. The mother was found with a broken neck at the bottom of her stairs. Apparently, she'd attempted suicide a week beforehand, and then thrown herself to her own death at the bottom of the stairs.

My blood pressure has not gone down. I'm 26-years old and according to the 3 readings a day I've taken on my $77 blood pressure monitor, I'm experiencing hypertension 1. My heart hurts... possibly from the anxiety of worrying and possibly from a bigger issue that's not been diagnosed. I found myself looking towards these tragedies to put myself to sleep last night through tears of most likely self-inflicted pain. I suppose that to die at 26 with a decent life and good friends and a loving parents, having only experienced the death of 2 grandparents and 1 dog, wouldn't be such a bad thing. It'd certainly save me the pain that life seems to cause. Not that I'm suicidal, just trying to escape the anxiety by looking at the bigger picture.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Behind the Story

I am not sure that everyone has to backstory conversation as often as I do. Most everything I do and most everyone I know has a backstory. I've tried my best to abridge the majority of my storytelling in order to avoid "This one time at band camp" style stories. Sometimes it's hard not to give a back story though.

Friday night, we had our 4th Shabbat Cluster dinner at a ML's family apartment in the Andover House. ML's in law school living with his parents who are renting at the Andover House until their new condo is built. I imagine that their original home was much larger than their two bedroom current residence. This would explain the gazillion freakish sculptures throughout the main room of the house, the scariest of these appearing to be a satanic elf jumping over another satanic elf. IH asked a great question regarding people who appreciate strange artwork and decoration. If you grow-up around it, will you eventually acquire it? I wonder if a study has ever been done. Even more freakish was the mini-dog who appeared to have cataracts. Apparently, the dog was hit by a car and lost his eyeball and the vet just popped it back in. Try learning that information before eating dinner.

APK and I came back to my place after dinner to rest up for Saturday's festivities. I awoke in desperate need for a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit from McDonald's. I must point out, I've not had anything from McDonald's in over two years. I'm not sure what this craving meant, but I pushed it aside and refrained from reducing myself to an 18-year old college coed again.

Saturday's day of parties began in Arlington at a Lavish Luau in honor of a friend of a friend from Bama. BG was hit on by a dude. This is the second time in two weeks that a friend of mine who declares to be straight has been hit on by another dude. Metrosexuality must make men who prefer men a little angry. It certainly offers an odd form of cock-block as far as the pick-up game is concerned. SG and I left the Luau around 4, picked up IH and APK, and headed to Northeast for a barbecue at JB's. They'd pulled out a futon, coffee table, and large television onto the front lawn. It felt a little bit like college and a little bit like a Kid Rock bash.... especially when someone decided to throw a roll of toilet paper directly INTO the key lime pie. Fun times.

We came home, changed, and headed to SC's for some pre-drinks before heading to RG's party in Shaw. You know you are one-happening-dude when you can be held up at a work function, miss your own party, and still have it be jumping. The new Mr. It criteria? Must be able to throw soiree where even the mention of your name makes the party a scene.

After RG's, we cabbed to Northeast to JM's party. The evening ended around 3am with a large migration of people attempting to order cabs. We figured it out though, you must tell them on the phone that the cab will be making multiple stops. It's not worth the cabby's time to come all the way out the Northeast for a two-zone fare.

Yesterday APK and I took a stroll through the Cherry Blossoms with every other tourist in DC. I think cherry blossoms look like nipples. This made me laugh for the majority of the day and evening and now... hmmm, maybe I am still a college coed at heart.