Thursday, November 30, 2006

Rules are meant to be broken...

On the phone to Angelina last night, "I'm 27 years old, and damnit, I'm sick of my own rules. I think I'm just going to shut up and do whatever I want to do. If I want him to come over, I'll just ask. Done." Angelina laughed a little, then agreed that, yeah, good idea to drop the rules that once worked so well for me in dating. If I don't want to attract guys like APK, I should probably break the rules.

The Producer said to me, "If you don't have rules, you're not breaking them."

Oh, and the Producer was also upset that I decided not to write about him on my blog. I don't want it to be awkward if I have to stop writing about him... really I'm just looking out for all of your interests! Anyways, the Producer is in the picture for me. That's all I'm going to say on the subject, and now he's on my blog, officially.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Tote Bags and Adults with Lip Rings

So, are tote bags the new tees-that-say-things way of showing off who you are and what you stand for?

I saw a chick walking across Dupont last night who couldn't have been over 22. She was carrying a tiny Louis Vuitton accessories pouch (which "are not supposed to be used as a purse" according to LV and pissing off Ali when they charged her $40 to repair the strap, but anyways) and this massive tote bag that said "Yale CEO Forum." I learned that either this chick went to Yale or was a CEO, or that she knew someone who went to Yale or was a CEO. Was that the whole point of her tote bag?

I wore a uniform to attend my private high school. Hounds tooth pleated skirts, white button down shirts, saddle shoes. Girls would accessorize for individuality. Hippies wore patchwork purses, stoners placed Grateful Dead stickers on their backpacks, etc.

Are tote bags the way working folk are creating individuality while wearing a Banana Republic-style, business casual look?

The bag I've been using most says "Firenze" on it with an illustration of Florence's skyline. I like it because obviously I got it in Italy. Eye often carries a totally hip Marimekko dotted tote. Jenny, last night at Lauriol, was sporting one a friend had given her from Duke's Business program. I guess I just wonder if totes that say things are as bad a fashion faux pas as shirts that say things?

Oh, and while I'm on the topic of accessories business women where often... I totally saw a women, about 40 years old, getting lunch at the Brookings cafeteria in a full black suit, silk scarf around the neck, and lip ring? I seriously came back to my office perplexed and looked up if any religious or ethnic community used the lip ring to symbolize something. I don't get it? Is that a midlife crisis or something?

When to Catch. When to Drop.

When to catch a failing, falling, barely fluttering friendship? When to nurture it back to health?

If it makes you a better person. If the reason you fight is because you care so deeply what your friend thinks. If your life without them seems pointless.

When to drop a failing, falling, fruitless friendship? When to let it slip, Buckner-like, through your legs?

If it makes you cry when your most upset at life. If the reason you fight is because you have opposing definitions of integrity. If your view of life, while scary, seems more carefree.

If, while taking a break from your friendship, you are de-friended from someone on MySpace and Friendster... told that your words have been marked... threatened that a grudge is now being carried.

If your friend can't appreciate that you've stepped away from what could be the end of a good friendship to breath and get rid of the animosity and drama that engulfed both of you, if instead your friend cuts off the friendship entirely....

Then you drop it.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I blame...

Morgan Spurlock and Jarred for taking away the Sandwich Artist-theme at Subway. Don't you remember the Subway Artist commercials back when Super Size was still available at McDonald's? Now, the emphasis is on eating fresh and 6 grams of fat or less.

I went to the Subway on 18th Street to get a Sweet Onion Teriyaki sandwich. The guy serving assumed I just wanted Italian bread. I corrected him, and disgruntled by this request apparently, he tossed the Italian bread in a bin and threw down the multigrain I wanted. Then, chicken was viciously put on the bread with a Chuck Norris destroying a numbchuck action, and the sandwich was tossed to a chick who rolled her eyes as it went into the toaster. My tomatoes and lettuce and sauce had no more luck with help. Sandwich Artist, my fresh bottom!

On the Subway website, they still refer to the people who make the sandwiches as "Sandwich Artists." Here's what that means to Subway-

Sandwich Artists™

Sandwich Artists™ have a positive outlook, thrive in a busy work environment and are keen to learn to art of great sandwich making. You will work well as part of a team, making delicious sandwiches to customer requirements. You will be responsible for serving customers, following health and safety procedures, and keeping the store clean.

Attitude is negotiable?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Back to Work

Bama time has come to an end. Do I want to be back in Mobile for good? Not really. I mean, I wish I could be 17 again (with the knowledge I have now), but I don't see myself living there full time anymore. Most of my friends live elsewhere anyways... in Birmingham, Tuscaloosa, Montgomery, Atlanta... so besides wishing I was closer to my parents, I think I'm content with growing up.

I did realize that I have grown up. I think at about 26, most of realize that we're no longer in St. Elmo's Fire (ie that period after college where you have no idea where you are going). I'm content in my career, own 300-thread count sheets, and cook dinner for myself from scratch. I'm almost grown up.

I look at my friends from home, some married with children and some just starting their careers, and I know that what once attracted me no longer does. In terms of guys, I want someone who's mature enough to have a relationship. I find men who date around and treat women with no respect appalling. I never did before recent times. I liked to convert the a-holes. I liked the being the girl who taught them to call for a date and clean the dishes after they ate. Now, I'm over all of that training. I want someone who wants me to want them.

I think a sign of age is recognizing that intimate relationships with friends, family, and significant others are what makes for a happy life. A guy who dates multiple girls in an attempt to pad himself from any form of deep connection is not someone I want in my life... even as a friend. And friends who pad their lives with going out buddies who they can't call when they're crying just don't have a place in my life either.

My father told me he's exhausted from meeting guys I've dated. My father's met one after another since I was 16, and he's sick of getting to know someone... shutting his mouth about their flaws... and then having to comfort me when it ends. I'm exhausted too. I'm exhausted from getting to know someone who I will spend a small fraction of my life talking to about everything and then having them disappear from my life forever.

I know what a good friend is like, and I've learned how to pick them. I've learned how to shut myself off to people who seem to care more about themselves then their friendships. I know how to honor my friends, how to be there for my friends, how to love my friends... I figured this out at about 21. I went through my cell phone and deleted the people I didn't like all that much.

Now, though, I think I'm coming to that point in picking the guys I let in. I'm done with guys who treat a women like a cuff link. As cliche as it sounds, you can't change a leopard's spots. I watch guys I've dated and preached to continue after our breakup hurting people for the mere sport of it, and I look at them with pity. What a sad way to live your life!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Big Wheels Keep on Turnin'....

Carry me home!

Last night, Elise and I met up at her house before heading out to meet Melissa, John, and company. Her dad slipped her a $20, so I officially felt about 18 again.

We met Melissa and her new beau at Double Olive for some martinis. I can usually avoid talking to people I don't really feel like catching up with... not that I'm a bitch, but I just don't see the point in taking time out of hanging out with my closest friends from high school to chat with people I basically just drank with at parties back in the day. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at the situation), Elise and Melissa and I don't look that much different than we did when we graduated. So, we were spotted and got into an aside with a dude we graduated with for a bit. Melissa pointed out another guy we used to hang with who one of our friends called "Watermelon Balls." You can get the visual on the meaning of that one, I'm sure. We avoided him at all costs.

John called on route to Soul Kitchen to hear the Velcro Pygmies... an 80s cover band I probably heard once or twice but don't remember.

Dancin' the night away to Bon Jovi and Lynyrd Skynyrd actually made Elise and I laugh so hard our tummies hurt. John ran into a guy he chaperoned on a high school trip. The kid was 20. He knew my best friend Stephanie's younger friend's (by 2 years) youngest sister (I was 8 when she was born). This made me feel dramatically old. Two very drunk 23 year olds tried their best to dance with Elise and I. Luckily John's 6 foot 5, so while one of the dudes spun me, I was able to grab hold of John for a hug that lasted until the boys found someone else to torment. Elise is much more damsel-in-distress then I am, so it took her a while longer to break free.

We left the bar around 2am and headed to our car where we ran into 12 other people we knew from high school. After hanging out with them for some time, we decided to call it a night and come home. I woke up at 1:30pm. My body can't party like it used to...

But, what fun! Elise understood when I said that Jerk didn't get me. It made perfect sense to her... because, well, she gets me. Ya know?

Sweet Home!

Friday, November 24, 2006

I'm Officially a Teenage Wannabee...

I just did the free upgrade on my cell phone after 2 years. I got the pink Razr, with the pink car charger, and debated getting the crystal stickers to add my initials. My ring is Jessica Simpson's Public Affair. My brother hasn't stopped making fun of me. Oh, and I'm getting the pink Nano for a holiday present... so yeah, I'm 27 going on 14, offically.

I really don't even like the color pink that much, but anyways.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Lord, I've Come Home to You!

Hungover in Bama currently and all dressed up awaiting a trip across Mobile Bay to our family friend's house for Thanksgiving... uh, late lunch? We eat at 4pm. I don't even know what meal that qualifies as, exactly.

I arrived to Bama at 11am. I was up at 5am, blah. Only funny story from the trip home... does anyone else discriminate when they're waiting for a toilet stall? I was in this massive line for the ladies room in Atlanta, and the person who came out of the first open stall looked dirty and gross. I told the person behind me to go ahead. She gave me an evil look and went onward. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe.

I completely pretended not to see a girl I graduated with on my flight. My mom pointed her out across baggage claim, so I kept my eyes down the whole time. I didn't feel like hearing what she was doing. Does that make me a bitch?

Last night, Josh and Margie came and picked me up to go downtown and meet a bunch of friends at the bars. We arrived to find one of our friends pretty much hazing Margie's sister. We're 27. He's yelling "finish your damn drink and let's get another. No more of this chatting around. Drink!" I thought were past this point in our lives. John John was driving down from Birmingham and met us out before even going home to drop off his stuff. I was impressed. It'd been more than a year since I saw him. I forgot how much I missed him! There are very few people who I love with all of my heart, especially boys, and John John is one of the dearest people to me.

I drank more drinks than I care to discuss. Bumped into a bunch of people I totally forgot existed. One guy who graduated with me (and looks about 20 times hotter than he did in high school) bought me a drink. "So what have you been up to?" he asked. I cited my job title, organization, and current city of residents. When I went to ask what he was doing, he dodged the question and mentioned to another guy I also graduated with (who was so chubby now I didn't recognize him) how much fun our 10 year reunion will be. Then he said they were going to another bar. I'm still perplexed by why he bought me the drink, but even more confused as to the last 2 people I've run into from high school on my visits home. One only asked if I was married... and then the conversation ended. I was pretty good friends with him in high school too, so it was even weirder that after 8 years no one wants to catch up really. I'm not sure that going to my 10 year will be something I'll enjoy. Honestly, the people I graduated with who I like, I already talk to plenty. The other ones have gotten a bit odder than I recall.

In the midst of a 20 minute conversation with a dude I barely remember from the grade below me, I stepped on a slippery patch of the floor and fell flat on my butt. He walked away which happily ended an uncomfortable conversation, and John John made sure to ask several times throughout the evening if he could get me a chair to fall off of...

Valli, Jamo, John John, and I drank enough to decide to go hear a band at another bar... at 2am... with no one in the bar we went to besides the band and bartenders. 2 of our other friends came and met us. One remarked to me, "I haven't seen you since 50 pounds ago for me." At least he could joke about the weight gain, I suppose. At 3:30am, we decided to head back home. Valli and Jamo stopped by Krystal's though, so John John was sweet enough to give me a ride home. I totally forgot about the drunken stops at Krystal's. I was always more of a late night Waffle House and Taco Bell person, but all the same.

My body is confused about this sudden return to myself in high school. I'm forcing a Red Bull currently down. The plus to age is that at least I can say to my mom now, "Sorry. I'm a bit hungover. I'll perk up soon enough."

Yawn. Off now for some turkey.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

In the Mobile Press Register Today

And they ask why people don't consider Southern news credible...

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

(Hilarious) Forward from Jenny...

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion,The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Most women can spot a classic player.

Whether or not we choose to participate in the game is completely a different story. The classic player isn't freaked out by your drunken spitting, they don't worry about how to come over to you for an introduction, and they never make friends with your ugly posse member just to hopefully get to talk to you. They buy you drinks and compliment your hair style. They talk about the future with you on the first meeting. They tell you that you're like no one else they've ever met. As the Master's beau said recently, "if he's good at what he does, he'd do exactly what you said..." Every once in a while I'll be in the right mindset to attract players. I'm usually on the rebound and looking for someone to feed me the lines I know aren't at all true. Classic players serve there purpose, and there's nothing wrong with entertaining a couple throughout your life.

As I said, it is easy to spot a classic player. Most attractive women in their mid-to-late 20s can figure out that the guy they met at Lucky Bar who looked like Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid has seen more ass than a toilet seat. But, it's this new breed of DC player that is confusing most of my friends and I.

The new player isn't overly attractive at all. He's usually short, a bit dorky, with a boring job doing something mathematical, and quoting Proust whenever possible. He's smart and unassuming. To the DC Bachelor wannabee guys out there, this new breed of player should be your idol. These are the really smart hunters who manipulate their pray and get their dinners cooked and sporting tickets purchased.

The new player comes across nice. Generally, they choose a girl completely out of their league and begin to subtly compliment her... befriending her. Soon, he's mentioned to their mutual friend that he's interested in her, and she begins to wonder why she's attracted to someone she never expected to be into in the first place. She gets drunk one night and kisses the new player. He lets her stop him from going to far, as he knows she needs more time to figure out if he's someone she's into. He promptly follows up with a call and sets a dinner date with her. At the dinner date, he talks about his family and marriage and children. She feels like she's found her Harry Goldenblatt. He stays over that night and still maintains a slow hookup pace. Then he asks her out on a date the next morning for the following week. She can't believe how into him she's become... and so the next date, she puts out.

He usually sticks around for a couple more times, though from here he stops taking her to dinner. He'll invite her to a friends party and meet her there. Slowly, he'll just meet her out after her friends party. Then, he'll just come over after he's been out. She'll call him one night drunk to see where he is, and he'll call her back a couple days later and set up a time to go out. If she follows up, he'll cancel the date. If she doesn't follow up, he won't call at all. And then it will be over. She'll see him out a couple of weeks later with a new girl. A month or two later, she'll see that girl out, and they'll have a heart-to-heart in the bathroom line about how he did the same exact thing to both of them.

Her girlfriends will tell her how she was entirely too good for him. They will be so shocked to hear someone as dorky as that guy would be such a jerk to girls totally out their league. But the new player will keep shooting for the stars and succeeding... one girl after another.

Classic players have nothing on these guys. New players get handcuffs and trips to Pleasure Place.

Ladies, remember, it is easy to spot a classic player. It isn't so easy to spot an a-hole!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Recent Humourous Emails

From my mother...

Subject: Washington, DC 7 Years after Clinton.

From Jenny...

Subject: Why it is difficult to eat in foreign countries.

From Ali...

Subject: Hello Maids!

Hello Maids ;-)
I just wanted to write a quick e-mail to link all of you girls up. Everyone keeps asking me what the plan is…and I really don’t know much other than the fact that:

-You 4 ladies will be by my side on August 18th, 2007. God bless ya’ll
-The wedding will be held at a church. (yay! I got out of the whole Catholic thing!) The church is VERY plain and New England-y (is that a word?)
- The ceremony time is set for 4pm
-Reception will be at Saybrook Point Inn (yes, Sam…the very place Frank Sinatra used to stay). Check it out
- I couldn’t resist browsing for bridesmaids gowns when my Mom came to NYC last week. You all know I love blue. Attached is a picture of the gown you girls will wear! I never expected to find it so soon. You can get them at bridal shops in your areas, but don’t worry about ordering until after the holidays. You’ll all look stunning.

Here's what she sent us. Jill couldn't open it and only saw my email back saying "I don't look good in gross!" I got a voicemail from her on Sunday morning, "Sam, since I know you'd be okay with most anything Ali said to wear, I'm extra scared that you seemed so displeased with what she picked. Is it sea foam green? Are we going to look like the Little Mermaid?" Ali's sister responded back " I love it!!!!! They just don't do enough with shoulder ruffles these days. And the color!!!!!!! To die for!!!! "

Steakhouse Discrimination, Sad for Shula, and NYC in DC

What a fun weekend! Friday night, the Master and I went to Bobby Van's for steak dinner. Our waiter looked less than thrilled when two slender women in designer scarves and handbags took one of his prime booths. Little did he know that we were the eatin' type.

5 glasses of wine, 2 side dishes, one game of Soul mates, a MASH sort-of game from my teen years where we discovered that we could see one of our friends with a particular gentleman, and two massive fillets, we were stuffed and ready for sleep. My only irritation was that I ordered my $40 fillet cooked medium. When the waiter brought it over cooked medium well, I called him over. "Well, does it make a difference?" he asked me. "Yes, it does. I like it more tender!" They brought me over another cooked medium... but I decided I won't go there again. Perhaps at TGIFridays I'll put up with patronizing comments like that... but, I expect more from a steakhouse.

Saturday morning, LR and Jenny met at my apartment to walk over to McFadden's for the Bama vs. Auburn game. McFadden's was out of bloody marys which sucked. It was entirely too early for bourbon. I was wearing an Auburn shirt but secretly routing for Bama. Poor Shula... Alabama's not exactly where you want to be known as "the first Crimson Tide coach to lose four consecutive games to their cross-state rival."

LW, Jenny, Vive and I went to the Producer's swanky two-floor, exposed brick, leather couched NYC-style townhouse for a "stock the bar" party later in the evening. The majority of the people there worked in media, so the crowd was way more fashionable than the usual DC scene. Many of the people worked for the new Al Jazeera English channel. I asked one girl where she worked, and she prefaced the description with "I'm not a terrorist, but I work for..." Apparently, the station is meant to give an objective perspective on what's going on throughout the world. The only problem is that in the US, you can only view it on the Internet.

Jenny picked up a Brit resembling Prince William. His very drunk good friend drove a Maserati. At what price point does a car get to be called by it's brand alone? At what point does the driver, even, become non-existent in descriptions? We were headed to find another party after the Producer's and the Brit kept announcing that the Maserati would be along to pick us up at any second.

I spent the night chatting with a handsome Southern beau who I'd hung out with several times at the beginning of the summer via the Producer. I was in a relationship the two times I'd met him. On the last meeting, APK was introduced as my boyfriend. So, I hadn't seen handsome since June. My Bama contingency dissected his dress and mannerisms, as good friends must, and came to the conclusion that they weren't crazy about his pants, but his sport coat, hair, and smile made him 100% Southern. They thought he'd fit in nicely with any of our friends from home. Oh, and he seemed to like conversation with me according to the ladies... that's why I keep them around, tehe. I did give him my number, though I'm not sure he's the right one for me. That's a very long story that I don't have the patience to explore today.

We never made it to the other party, which was fine. 'twas a good night without needing anything else.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Hellllls Yeah!

It's about freakin' time a guy put his opinion on heroine chic out there...


Friday, November 17, 2006

Tid Bits

Terms I didn't know...

In NYC, Angelina was having a heated debate with someone over who coined the term spoon job. I'd be more concerned with the fact that this action was being done enough to need a term, but I thought I'd share it all the same. A spoon job is when a guy gets himself off by rubbing up against you while you're spooning.

Last night I spoke to a guy friend of mine and mentioned the Giant had called me a bit earlier just to say hello... with no mention of when I'd see him again. I always consult my guy friends regarding guy advice, because I figure that it is the best way to get the most basic direction on how to act. With my girlfriends, we'll chat on the phone about a situation for hours and not have any resolution besides the fact that we don't understand guys at all. If I ask JM or Shockwave for advice, they bluntly tell me what the story is and how to respond. Done.

Anyways, so according to my guy friend, often times boys like to keep girls on the radar. What that means is, they call to check-in even if they don't plan on seeing someone for a couple of weeks just so that the girl will know they are still interested. That way, they can call when they want to do something without a "I hadn't heard from you in a while." Incidentally, the Giant called shortly after the earlier call and came over. When I mentioned this to him, he told me he wasn't doing that at all... he was just thinking of me and wanted to call. I suppose sometimes guy advice can be a little too blunt and basic.

I don't feel like chicken tonight.

In fact, I feel like STEAK. Everyone keeps telling me I should treat myself to something fabulous since work's been busy, and I'm newly single. Shopping doesn't count, I'm told. I'm not really into spas besides pedicures mainly, because the idea of someone random touching me sort of creeps me out. The last time I got a facial, the chick told me I had big pores. So, the Master and I have made a reservation for 2 at Bobby Vann's. I plan on demolishing a couple glasses of Merlot and eating the biggest fillet they have!

The Iron Bowl is tomorrow!

This Michigan and Ohio State crap is pissing me off. Seriously, there's only one game tomorrow, the University of Alabama vs. Auburn University. My football attention span is somewhat lacking unless bourbon and tailgating is part of the mix, but the Iron Bowl is the one and only game I get really excited about. Jenny and I have worked out a deal with McFadden's to watch the game and get our group $3 domestic beers and $4 rail drinks. Now that I have a couple friends from Bama in DC, the game will be even more fun. I'm really Roll Tide, but, due to the fact that Jenny's totally Roll Tide and my brother went to undergrad and grad school at Auburn, I'm routing for Auburn this time around. Here's the shirt I'm wearing.

P.S. I was very resentful that we had to send a message through Evite that McFadden's would be showing the other game of the weekend too.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


You are noted for your grace, refinement and beauty as well as your repulsion to anything unattractive. You are meticulous in manner and dress and add a touch of elegance to all that surrounds you. Your goal is more to be admired by a man but if he is willing to boost your ego on a continuing basis you will show him how skilled you are at the art of lovemaking. You tend to prefer the artistic type of man, however your partner must also be highly lucrative in order to furnish you with the adornments that you require to keep you happy.

Except- I have, like, one zodiac soulmate... Aquarius... and I don't know any Aquarius men? Can I switch signs?
From: Weather Alert
Subject: Alert DC Severe Weather
Notice Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2006 08:24:34 -0500A

[**severe weather/flood**] watch has been issued for the DC area through [**hh:mm am/pm**]. Prepare for this potentially dangerous situation by removing possessions from [**outside/flood prone areas**] and by informing your friends, family and co-workers of this alert.

Response 1:

This seems pretty vague, but I think the bottom line is we should panic.

Gotta love the National Weather Service ;-)

Response 2:

Oh dearness, that's too funny. Panic!

Response 3:

Really, I think this means that whoever sent out the email doesn't know how to use their system...someone forgot to add the type of [severe weather], [hours] and [area] to the email.

I think it's more like, gotta love whoever's in charge of our emergency systems here in DC!

Response 4:

Exactly! There are no facts provided, but make sure to tell all of your family, friends, and co-workers to PANIC. hehehe...

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Internet & Technology

My coworker is 33. She's convinced that technology is making relationships more difficult- both friendships and romantic relationships. Her current roommate is 22. She comes home from work, sits in front of the television watching reruns of 90210 on the SoapNet with her computer, and spends of the rest of the night IMing her friends.

"Do you ever get any time alone?" She asked.

I sit in my office with gchat running. She thinks it is the break down of communication that I've basically got my friends chiming in throughout the day without ever hearing another voice or seeing another face. In fact, she points out, when I don't see Suave for a couple of weeks, I feel like I've talked to her plenty. But I haven't.

Is she right? With text messaging, MySpace comments, e-mail, IM, are we having a breakdown of communication? Are we confining ourselves to a world of somewhat isolation? And, if babies who nurse and thus have more physical contact with their mothers live better lives than babies without, are we developing a society of introverted adults by allowing for all of these ways to get around actual communication?

Even as far as dating goes... did you know that there's a Rules book on internet dating now? Does anyone actually call and ask you out? I prefer to be called and asked out... is that not something I can expect anymore? Is that primitive? APK asked me out the first time over email. Is that just normal?

I had to block the friend I just decided not to talk to from my gchat. I talk to him everyday, all day, and deciding not to talk and then seeing his name and picture would just upset me more. But, I don't really see him that often! I don't talk to him that often on the phone. Basically, we IM all day, and the question is, does that harm our relationship? Would we be less likely to say the things we say to one another in person or on the phone? Without tone and expression, it is much easier to be harsh.

And, when people read my blog to catch up on what I'm doing it does bother me. Mainly because this blog is not the entire story... it's not who I am... it's a character based on myself. I would hope I'm much more complex a person then someone who can be defined by one post a day, filtered to allow my readers to be entertained.

I've stopped giving my email out to guys I'm interested in... not until we've firmly established the perimeters of such things. I try not to text too often. I think my coworker may be right. All these ways to get around personal contact seem to be the destruction of our relationships. I'm not sure that technology is a good thing anymore.

At What Point...

Do you decide that a friendship is unhealthy?

Male-to-female friendships, especially, tend to often combine two people who aren't compatible in a relationship so they decide to be friends instead. There are many guys who I have no sexual chemistry with at all, and thus, they make ideal friends. But, when there's sexual chemistry, sometimes there's also need for approval and affirmation that shouldn't exist in a friendship.

So, at what point do you throw in the towel and say, "Look, you're bringing me down. I'm bringing you down. We're in a relationship without sex, and it is just not working for me." I'd say once you really figure out you'd never ever date that person. Once the "maybe" mystery disappears for good, you're basically stuck being friends with someone who you'll fight with non-stop.

I'm not talking about being friends with Exs... that just rarely works. Though, I did just get advice from the last guy I dated in college, but we had a huge blowup and didn't talk for 6 months and now really don't want one another at all... but, anyways.

What I am thinking about is friends with people you do have sexual chemistry with but that you do not want to date or hook-up with. Can you be friends? Normal, unbiased, unjudgemental friends? Because, I'll tell you, perhaps I just have too intimate a relationship with my good friends... but I honestly just had to tell a friend that I can't talk to them anymore. We fight too much, and he makes me feel entirely too badly about myself. I'm sick of demeaning emails that make me angry and frustrated. I'm sure he's sick of me judging him for dating several girls at once while each one thinks they're getting him to the point of commitment. I'm his friend, not theirs. He's not leading anyone on, but he hasn't yet found what he wants and is unwilling to settle. And, even though I care very much about him and know he cares about me, I don't know that this relationship is good for either of us right now.

So at what point do you throw in the towel? Do you take a break for a while, like if you were in a relationship? Do you just not talk about specific things? That might be even weirder.

I said today "I think you and I aren't intended to be friends. It's been fun. Best of luck."

Is that what I'm supposed to do? And if so, why the Hell does it hurt?

Bulletin on MySpace

I thought this was quite astute for a MySpace Bulletin. Funny enough, the guy who posted it was a guy friend of mine from high school... a year older than me and perhaps one of the biggest players I've ever met. I totally kissed him once, of course, drunk, while watching the movie Scream in the theater. He now lives in Vegas and dates a chick who's a professional poker player. I have no idea what he does, but apparently, he's gotten much more analytical and poetic (well, based on his MySpace bulletin posts).

Girl Facts:
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking
she wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says, "I miss you"
no one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine "
after a few minutes, he means it

When a guy stares at you
he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

CB Tuesday Night

Just finished watching the Gilmore Girls. Statistic popped up after Chris and Laureli got married- did you know 2 in 5 people marry their first love?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Trivia Night

JM planned a trivia night last for all of us at Fado in Chinatown. Only in DC would a bar be ridiculously packed on a Monday night for trivia. I think I only got 2 questions right this time, one involved Coco Chanel, of course.

The Master and her new beau came. It was the first time I'd seen them together as a couple. It was cute to see them cuddling. The Giant met us there. He listened to my horrendous music taste on my iPod... laughing when Phish was followed by Snoop was followed by the Dixie Chicks.

Text this morning from the Master:

"Rumsfeld makes glorious sexytime with Nancy Pelosi!" That was one of the trivia team names.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I'm going to be a bitch right now...

Don't read this if you can't handle it.

A couple of my guy friends have reported meeting girls they've dated through MySpace and Friendster. I've used them only to get in touch with people. I asked my friends what they wrote... how they initiated contact... what they searched for to find these people. I realized I'd not gotten a message from a stranger, but before I put my head in an oven, I figured out that my profile said I was only looking for friends. With all the murders and rapes and such, I'd have a hard time meeting someone through any social networking site. But curious, I changed what I was looking for to friends, serious relationships with men, dates with men, and networking. Within less than 2 months, I think I've gotten the most creepy 20+ messages ever. Here are some of my favorite.

Subject: Hi Sam

What is going on? I thought I should work on knowing mor Jewish people. We are all suppose to know each other, right?

Subject: What's Up!!!!!

I'm X and my profile really sucks I kind of raced right through it. I'm just on here durring working hours so heres a little about me.LOL It took me like an hour to get through your profile Mine will take you a secondLOL If you have a drink with me then this nice guy will finish first with a bonus and thats you. I am a romantic and I do party alot but only on the weekends, I have to be able to think during the week LOL. I work in Real Estate and I love it but its so slow and competitive But I hang in there. I love your smile, in your pictures you always seem to have a blast. A picture can say a thousand things but your says I'm Beautiful and sweet. I Hang out in DC for Happy hours and on Saturday I'm at a club or Cafe. I am a Greek boy and I go to Greece almost every summer if work allows me to go. I have fun there cause all my cuz's live there and Its cool when we hang out. I am a great cook my mom taught me and I know how to treat a lady and I love from the heart unlike fake people. I would love to chat with you sometime.

Take care and have a great Day.

No Subject

My name is X, 30, work for the X in DC, love every minute of it! Liked your profile and pics, drop me a line sometime if you are interested. Talk to you later. X

No Subject

Hi Sam, I was searching the Jewish girls on Myspace and I saw your beautiful face! Let's be friends :-) Keep in touch.

Subject: Hi

Nice page. You seem to have a sweet relationship with your friends/family, plus youre a cutie. Maybe you can add me as a friend.

Subject: Hey

Hi Sam, I was messing around on myspace and I saw your profile and pictures. I liked both very much so I decided to message you. I love to party and live in Dupont. Message me back if you are interested. By the way, I have a picture if you're interested. I haven't had a chance to post it yet, but I'm happy to email it to you. Just let me know your email address :-) Talk soon!

(he's still not posted a picture!)

Subject: Hey

you're hot. what is up ?

I'm totally changing my profile back now, though I'll miss the entertainment for sure!

My Campaign to Demote Delaware!

I'd like to suggest we, as a nation, take away Delaware's status as a state. It is the most worthless place in the US.

My 4 1/2 hour drive according to Mapquest took me through Baltimore's Harbor Tunnel, all the way North & South on Jersey's Turnpike, through NYC's Holland tunnel, and, on my return to DC, through Staten Island via the Verrazano Bridge (I'm still confused why Staten Island thinks their smelly borough is worth $9 to enter, but that's a whole other story). I'm not a fan of Jersey... I was warned once to never stop at a red light in Newark no matter what... but I can understand any traffic taking place on it's highways. Jersey is close to NYC, and thus, I will patiently accept the toll booths and construction and sometimes traffic. Maryland has Baltimore (Camden Yards is divine) and is close to DC. Again, I'll shut my mouth about any traffic.

But Delaware. Screw Delaware. Stuck in traffic on the way to NYC, as always, in Delaware, I passed through one toll booth then couldn't move an inch. A sign on the side of the road suggested I check the AM traffic report radio. I'm stupid, because I've done this before and all it does it convince me more and more to allow military testing of nuclear bombs in Delaware. "Drivers on North Bound I-95 will experience long delays due to the toll booths." I'm not joking, this is the announcement!

After 2 hours in traffic in Delaware, I reached the second toll booth. "It's backed up to Jersey," the toll booth worker smugly stated. Why? Well, Delaware decided that immediately after these two poorly managed toll booths, they turn 4 lanes into 2 lanes for construction. On my return trip last night, I noticed I-95 N was backed up to Columbia, MD.

Delaware is the barrier between the North and the South. Damn cockblocking state.

So let's get rid of Delaware.

We'd do much better to incorporate one of our territories, say Guam or Puerto Rico (for national tourism to increase), or to go to buy (or conquer, because we could totally take Canada!) Nova Scotia from Canada and make it are own (we could totally save on fish import taxes).

Delaware's a poorly managed, useless, annoying state. It's the second smallest state anyways, and I'm sure the Amish in Pennsylvania would love to have more land to farm... oh, or we could give it to the Orthodox Jewish community in Maryland and bring people displaced from the Gaza Strip to America. They could make H&H bagels and lox and knish. That'd be swell.

And I've heard all of the following already:

"But, Delaware has no sales tax," you say in defense. There's no freakin' shopping in Delaware! No Woodbury Commons deals, no Galleria Mall, no trendy strip of boutiques. Not to mention, you'd have to pay $700 in tolls to get to Wilmington's Sears anyways.

"Dewey Beach is a happening vacation destiny." No one lives there full-time. Basically, you have people in their mid-20s sharing a house with 50 other people, drinking entirely too much, and running up the number of yuppies living with incurable STDs. I've seen my friends' pictures. Dewey is Cancun for the credit card debt crew over 22, Ft. Lauderdale for the heterosexual, Girls Gone Wild for the fat... it's not worth saving Delaware for Dewey. We'll send people to Ocean City, the Jersey Shore, and Virginia Beach instead. They'll be too drunk to notice, I promise.

"Wilmington has tons of credit card companies and Dupont!" My Uncle's worked in Wilmington for 20+ years. When he wanted to raise a family, he moved to Philadelphia. He commutes everyday. He said he wanted to raise the children in a better place. Delaware can't even get the people it employs to stay in it's perimeter. Off with it's head!

So I say we make some t-shirts and find a politician to back us... tear up that land and give it to states that know how to manage tourism, traffic, and taxation. Demote Delaware!!!

Return to NYC Part 3

Last night, Angelina held a housewarming party at her new place in Bedford-Stuyvesant... which is totally adorable, in case you didn't know. Her friends, many NYC bloggers, ate and drank everything in her apartment and had to be told it was time to leave. I suppose that makes the party a complete success. Her cat, Jack, is so cute. James asked me this morning if I had cats growing up. I didn't, and, in fact, really don't like cats that much. My love for Jack thus explains how precious that cat truly is!

We ate brunch and wandered around Bed-Stuy until around 1pm. I left NYC missing my friends, but not missing NYC. When I spoke to Shockwave on the phone an hour ago declaring I felt like the majority of people in NYC are trying entirely too hard, he told me "hate the game not the players." Fair enough.

I hate Delaware more though! I'll post more tomorrow about my extreme hatred for the state of Delaware. Stupid stupid stupid state!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Return to NYC Part 2:

I am staying with Ali and Matthew down in the Financial District about one block from the World Trade Center. She and Matthew have always lived down here, since right after September 11th. Her old apartment at 88 Greenwich Street was on the 13th floor. While I'm glad there are people in NYC willing to keep NYC moving forward, I'm not a brave as they are...

This building, 90 West Street, is spectacular though. It just won a National Preservation Award actually. Of course walking into the huge one bedroom apartment with hard wood floors and stainless steel appliances, I thought to myself that NYC living isn't so cramped... until I heard the price of their rent.

Last night, we met Darren, Matthew's Sigma Chi friend and his totally West Coast girlfriend... sweet as pie with sun kissed hair, no makeup, and a perfect tan (I remarked, "such a nice girl but NYC would eat her alive.")... at Son Cubano for dinner and dancing. Afterwards, PM was the place of the hour. Currently, there’s someone’s vomit in Ali's sink... so a good night, basically.

Matthew is the head of the Alumni chapter of Sigma Chi in NYC. Ali's the Social Director for the Alumni Chi Omega association. I haven't heard, "this table is all Greek!" in a while. I find it somewhat funny now. Anyways, so Matthew's other Sigma Chi-alumni friend came and met us at Son Cubano. Before he got there, Ali briefed me on the fact that he's a horrendous namedropper and overall thinks he's hot as shit. He's well connected, I was told, but no more than anyone else who lives in New York.

He got to the table, and I awaited my entertainment. I forgot that in small bits, the self-important New York attitude is quite hilarious. Immediately, he suggested we check out Brass Monkey afterwards because his friend was friends with the owner or something. Then, Ali, talking about her days working at CNNFN mentioned that she'd been on the Forbes yacht before to interview someone. This guy chimes in, "Oh and friend of my friend is a Forbes... her name is [name, I can't remember]." Ali, in classic bitch mode (I loved and missed her!), "No, I didn't say I knew the family. I just said I went on the yacht for work. But, congrats on knowing them." Tehe.

At PM, a dirty, fat, gross man came in with a ridiculously gorgeous woman on his arm. "He's loaded, obviously!" I announced. "Oh no, he's amazing in bed," Ali declared.

I just bought some breakfast food for Ali and Matthew and am watching 90210 reruns on the SoapNet. I think using a NYC cable remote is pretty much like learning to ride a bike. It is hard to learn it all, but once you get it down, you never forget.

I had goat cheese croquette tapas and 1/6th of 4 pitchers of Sangria (one was on the house b/c Ali knows the owner). My bill was $34.00. I forgot what it was like to have no disposable income! What else has changed in a year?

-You have to the billing zip code of your credit card into the Metro Card machines now if you pay using them.

-The World Trade Center subway stop is open.

-Tortillas and Chorizo aren't on the tapas menu of Son Cubano. The menu has gone up in price, again, and yucca is on the side dish menu now. Oh, and they got plasma televisions that show random videos.

-3 new bars + have opened in the Meat Packing district.

-Tartan plaid and 70s styles have replaced the Bohemian look I saw all over the place (and wore) when I lived here.

- Grocery stores and delis are open on weekends again down in the Financial District... a sign that people are living here again and not just visiting Ground Zero.
I'm heading over to Angelina's in a bit for her party and to stay the night in Brooklyn.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Return to NYC

It has been a year since I left New York City... and a year since I've returned for a visit. It has also been a year since I've seen my best friend Ali. She's gotten engaged to Matthew in that time. I haven't even gawked over the ring yet. It has been a year since I drank entirely too much and talked about college with Darren. My friend Amanda too, who just moved back, I haven't seen since February. It has beeen since January that I've seen Angelina, and I decided for her housewarming in her new Brookyln Bachelorette Pad, I should come and visit.

Not sure if I really love New York anymore....I created a list on my old blog of things I'd miss about New York. I can't even recall what those were. To be honest, the things I miss most about New York are my friendships. Other than that, here are a couple I can think of that I have missed.

1) People judging you on your handbag NOT what Ivy League school you attended. JM and I were talking about this last night at a happy hour, randomly, at the Irish Channel Bar which is connected to Chinatown's Red Roof Inn. Don't ask...

2) Fishs Eddy gifts. It costs so damn much to ship the great glassware and platters, and I much prefer to go to the store and look around.

3) The Strand!!!! I miss selling back my books and buying something new.

4) Zabar's cheese department. I stopped there every Saturday.

5) Vintage shopping in the Village... and flea market shopping at the Chelsea Flea Market.

6) Pizza! Lombardi's, Grimaldi's, John's, Joe's, even Totonno's sometimes. I was spoiled forever by fresh ingredients.

7) Diners at 5am after the bars close. I love the tradition of getting a big piece of pie or a bacon, egg, & cheese sandwich after you've been dancing all night.

8) Halloween in the Village... getting a bag of candy corn at Duane Reade and wandering around people watching for hours.

9) Central Park in the summer time. There's nothing like hanging out throwing frisbees and reading a junk magazine.

10) Subways and busses that run all night everywhere... because in DC, the Metro doesn't stop every 3 blocks. I miss not ever using cabs or cars.

So, off I go, back to Broadway. Sing some Sinatra for me.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

A-holes, Selfish Bastards, Lost Boys... Oh My!

Forwarded political email to my friend from an Ex. Sent to a whole group of people not in the BCC field. He's a complete a-hole, by the way.

Her response:

Are all your ex-girlfriends on this list? Just curious.

His response:

That list would be way too long. Hotmail only lets me email so many at a time. My current one is on the list.

Forward to me from her:

Read this disfunctional exchange. Do I have a "Bull's Eye" on my forehead saying, "Treat me like s*&%!"? :(

My response to her:

Ooooooooh, yucky! Glad you got rid of him! No, I think you just pick the wrong guys, as do we all sometimes. This time around, you and I must make a pact to stay away from a-holes, selfish bastards, and lost boys. Blah, boys suck suck suck (even when they're into other boys).

Her response to me:

I hear ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I wish we had some kind of device that would help us identify them... They can be sneaky! When relationships start out I think they won't do anything to intentionally hurt me, and then BAM! Granted, things ended really badly between us. I have some juicy stories to tell you next time over drinks!! ;-p

My thoughts:

How cool if we had a standard first date test to gage if someone was any of the above? We could ask obscure questions like, if you and I went over to Mexico on vacation and I left my passport behind accidentally in DC and couldn't be let back in until someone brought it down to me, would you A) Stay with me patiently. B) Go get it and bring it down to me. C) Ditch me at the border, because I'm obviously a moron. D) Only go on vacation with your buddies anyways!

Dating 101

My date with the Gorgeous Giant was last night, as I'm sure you all knew. He's very sweet... funny... and tall. Very, very tall. When I asked him about what sort of bed he sleeps on he responded, "If you're lucky, someday you'll find out."

I broke several of my rules. I gave my number out in a bar. I talked entirely too much and too fast (he calls me the Gilmore Girl). I kissed him on the first date... lots. He looked through my photo albums on the first date. He saw my apartment, and my bedroom on the first date... which wasn't particularly tidy, so I was embarrassed. And, he knows about this blog now too. And my MySpace page.

He made fun of me for not taking off my shoes as we sat on my bed. Damn father of mine in the back of my head telling me to behave like a lady.

So, I guess, this puts us well at date three meaning I should be cooking him dinner next if he calls again. Which I hope he does...

We went to Lauriol Plaza for dinner. I wasn't overly hungry, and thus broke another rule and ate very little. I try to eat normally in front of guys only because I don't want them shocked later on when I'm craving a Checker's hotdog and fries.

He's had a string of psychotic girls lately. The most recent didn't speak much English and introduced herself as his girlfriend. He told her on the phone he'd say I love you to her if she knew his last name. She didn't.

But it was nice to be with a guy. A real guy, with buddies and Fraternity stories and the ability to pull me to him if he wants to kiss me.

While I've never not enjoyed being out with a Lost Boy, I'm ready for someone else to control the date. I think this is why I was always attracted to players and a-holes... and sort of became one myself at one point. I don't want a guy that can quote Sex and the City. I've got girlfriends. I don't want a guy who can tell me what's in fashion. I've got a subscription to Vogue. I don't want a guy who let's me drive him everywhere... who I catch reading my Glamour... who tells me Justin Timberlake is hot... I want two chromosomes- XY. I want a man.

We'll see if he calls again. I didn't take my shoes off... or anything else for that matter. I suppose if he doesn't call, at least that's one less thing to worry about.

But, I will say this, I'm glad I gave my number out in a bar. My father was wrong.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

An Injustice!

Nothing but the price of custom salads is high at High Noon!

So, I always thought that it seemed a bit pricey when I custom-made my salad. I'm usually hungry by the time I meet Suave for lunch there, so I don't really pay attention. Well, it's not only overly pricey... they charge $2.40 more to make you the Cobb Salad then if you just pick it up in the pre-made section.

A Cobb salad at High Noon consists of romaine lettuce, chicken breast, avocado, tomatoes, blue cheese crumbles, hard boiled egg, bacon & blue cheese dressing. The cost is $7.79.

If you made that same salad yourself-

Base price for lettuce, dressing, and 2 basic toss-ins, egg and tomatoes: $4.69
Add two premium toss-ins, avocado and crumbled blue cheese: $1.00 each
Add two deluxe toss-ins, bacon and grilled chicken: $1.75 each
Total cost for the same exact salad: $10.19

That's ridiculous! Such an injustice.

Tid Bits

The adorable sons of my friends from Bama...

were dressed as Buzz and Woody for Halloween. I've determined that I don't find all children cute. I don't know if that's a lack of maternal instinct or a sign that perhaps I'm entirely too judgmental. I saw pics of a friend's baby recently who came out with baby acne. Not a pretty sight. "If I think babies are ugly, I am not ready to be a mom definitely," I said to my mother on the phone. Then Eye sent out pictures of her new niece, Noa, who is the most gorgeous little child. Satin skin, dark hair... Suri-like. Apparently, I'm ready to be a mom so long as my child is precious. But I suppose, reading this, you should be happy that I'm not more gooey about children. At least you know when I say they are cute, they are cute as hell. Below are Jackson and Brooks in their Buzz and Woody gear.

Since Glamour named VPL (Visible Panty Lines) as the #1 Don't of all times...

do all women wear thongs now? A chick in front of me at CVS with no make-up, ratty hair, ill-fitted cargos, and a t-shirt (with stains) bent over to get a pack of gum. Her thong totally popped out... and I was left a bit speechless. Things crossed my mind like:

Is she on drugs pimpin' herself out to get her fix?

Was Victoria's Secret having a thong sale I didn't know about?

Thank goodness for a business office. Is that what I'd look like daily if I worked from home?

Watching election results in DC makes politics fun.

I'm the first to admit my political IQ is missing in action. If it wasn't for the Today Show, CNN Alerts, and Jon Stewart, I'd probably have no idea we were even at war. Hanging with people who giggle when Bernie Sanders wins (and not hear the name wrong and think to themselves, as I did, wait Colonel Sanders is running in VT? I thought he was dead. Does this mean that Ben & Jerry will have chicken ice cream now?)

That being said, I did think it was funny that in the midst of election time, CNN Alerts sent out something yesterday notifying us that Brittany and Kevin filed for divorce. And for the record, I went to CNN immediately to get the scoop.

More from the Pea in India.

Some of the highlights of the most recent two emails...

Our guides name was Vicky, oh another thing I have noted, is that all foreigners feel the need to shorten their name to make it easier for the Americans, they also think America is great and can't wait to get there, although sadly most that we have run in to never will. Additionally EVERYONE we have run into knows all about American politics and the one thing they all agree on is their dislike of Bush, minus one guy in the airport who quoted Gandhi "hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil" aka. don't talk about others poorly, what a thought for the day...

Alright all, tomorrow we are off to the Pushkar Camel Fair, we are looking forward to camels as far as the eye can see and probably some more shopping, so off to the desert we go!!!

Well in the midst of sending the email 2 days ago I got side tracked per usual, India is crazy what can I say. Well today it is Day 2 in Pushkar and tomorrow we go back to Jaipur...we are at the Pushkar camel fair......It is super chaotic, my mom and I have decided that the Fair is like Ocean City on the 4th of July, on steroids-people are everywhere!!!

and all these beggars want their picture taken for money -like a quarter but still....

on top of that all the people like to see their digital pics so they want them taken...Needless to say I've taken over 1,000 pictures how great technology is..I wonder how many will end up in print!!

So last night was a full moon, they had a special ceremony here and people came from all over to bath in the lake starting at 3 am!!!

One of the coolest things about Pushkar was seeing all the young Israelis, apparently after their service in the Army they head to India to relax!!



Tonight is my date with the Gorgeous Giant.

It's raining. I'm bummed. My hair will be frizzy. I hope we drink enough that he doesn't notice. I'm excited... seeing as it's been more than 10 months since I had a first date!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Greek Murder!

At UMass, the Stockbridge School of Agriculture is impressive. The fraternity associated with this school, ATG (We called them all Farmer Boys. Once they actually dug and lined a pool in their front lawn for rush week. I swear people got pregnant swimming in it.), owned the property that was Fraternity Row. Besides 3 fraternities in different locations, the majority of a sorority girl's freshman year was spent on Frat Row.

So, when ATG put the property up for sale on eBay, everyone was in shock. The end of an actual era. ZooMass would never be the same.

Then the University bought the property.

And now, the University has forced ATG to demolish the houses one at a time.

The first house to go is Sigma Alpha Mu, aka Sammy. I initially came to visit Sammy when a annoying girl on my hallway came yelling that she needed volunteers for the dating game at one of the fraternities. Along with her was a guy named Zach, who I am actually still friends with today. My roommate agreed to go and then all insisted I go as well. I changed quickly, and arrived at Sammy about 20 minutes later.

It was the second night of rush. I was told I'd be asking potential rushes dating questions, and the more outlandish the better. I should also note, at the time, I had an extreme Southern accent. When I sat down, call it the stage ham in me, but I was good. I was really good. My best question which followed me for 4 years of college, "I really miss my puppy dog. She's at home in Alabama. Can you get on all fours and tell me why you think it'd be great to be my puppy dog?"

I met a Sammy about a month later who I dated for a bit. Then I decided I didn't really like him, and I asked his pledge brother to come with me to my formal. That guy ended up being the biggest sleaze on earth. Luckily, I found out the important reason most girls didn't date Sammy's before I did anything I'd regret. I can't tell you why, but let's just say it involved this guy trying to video tape every girl he dated.... and him generally dating more than one person at one time.

Sammy, yeah, no harm done to the campus with that house demolished!

Tall Tales Continuing for Moi...

The Gorgeous Giant from Saturday night called! We're going out Wednesday night. Jenny says, "See, you've got serious game." Me: "Nah. I'd rather be lucky then good." Tehe, would you rather get lucky or be good? I wish I'd thunk of that comment instead.

He's 6 foot 7. Eye's comment, "Well, you're moving up in the dating world... literally."

I forgot that crushing is totally fun. Though, my friend Josie in NYC (after I became single from Jerk and announced that meeting all these new people was such a blast!) declared, "I've been single now for 7 months. I'm damn sick of saying the same sh*t over and over again to different people. I don't want to talk about my job or my family or my college experience anymore. It gets old really damn quickly."

I'll let you know the date goes. I've never had to stand on my tippie toes to kiss someone before. This could be a new experience. And also, what sort of bed does someone like that require? Not that I'm planning on anything yet (only met the guy once, geez!). But just wondering... I mean are people that tall stuck sleeping on extra long twin beds forever?

I've been watching the Mary Tyler Moore Show seasons 1-4 on dvd non-stop for the last few weeks. Funniest line I've heard so far:

Phyllis to Mary & Rhoda: "I found an easy way to make $25,000 a year."
Rhoda: "What's that Phyllis?"
Phyllis: "I married Lars."

Monday, November 06, 2006

Tennessee Jokes E-mail from my Mom (Subject: Could easily be Bama too!)

A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my> sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?

Did ya hear about the new law was recently passed in Tennesee?
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

TALL Tales from the Weekend

My Sam, what a tall weekend you have had...

Friday evening, I met LR, Jenny, SW and company at Urbana for happy hour. 2 glasses of happy hour special wine and I was definitely in a more honest mood.

Now, I have to backtrack for a second. I've been to Millie and Al's about 5 times, and never ever by choice (though I almost always have a good drunken time). On my second visit with Suave, Eye and crew, 4 ridiculously tall boys picked us all up and bought us several gazillion Jello shots. They said they were basketball players who'd just graduated from Georgetown. The tallest of the boys, Johnny, was the chatty one. His wingman, I suppose, was the hottest one... though completely uninterested in conversation. On my third visit, Johnny and the boys tried to pick up some of BG's friends. I got a couple free Jello shots again. Nice, because you don't feel like you anyone anything for $1 drink. On my forth visit with the Master, APK, and their college's Alumni group, the boys were at it again. This time they attempted to pick up someone else, who I politely pulled aside and warned that the boys might be carriers of STDs. He overheard me, and whispered shortly after to another girl in our group that I hated him.

So, when the boys walked into Urbana, I quickly referenced the entire above story to LR, Jenny, SW, and anyone else listening. Of course, they waved at our group from the bar. They came over and introduced themselves, and, of course, we all couldn't help but giggle and wait to be entertained. Johnny and I got to talking, and I told him he'd picked up about 3 of my friends. I joked that he must have a blonde thing, and he insisted really he liked brunettes. Then he suggested he cook me lunch sometime because breakfast is presuming I stayed over already and dinner is presuming I'm interested in staying over. I told him if he remembered my name the next time I saw him out, I'd let him cook me lunch.

But, the best line came later on. We chatted with all the fellows... entertained, but slightly bored. Turns out none of them ever played basketball for a college. They play for some team now, leisurely.

One of the boys with us was asked by a fellow who resembled McDreamy which one of us he was dating. He said all of them. One of the other boys commented, "Oh, they're all your bitches." Johnny then remarked, "Ha. I think these girls are pretty much the antithesis of bitches." LR suggested we make a needlepoint of that for our walls.

We left shortly afterwards. They were much more boring then you'd think... ya know, without Jello shots being offered and tales about their basketball careers.

Saturday night, Jenny and I met Eye and her friends (one really resembled Jack Black) for a party in Adams Morgan and then the bars. In one bar, a handsome blonde around the height of 7 feet tall, looked my way. Then looked again. Then finally came over and introduced himself. I told him we were about to leave for the Angry Inch and that he should come. I didn't much talk to him, but I could spot him all throughout the bar apparently looking back to see when we left. At the Angry Inch, dancing with the lovely ladies, in walked my dashing Giant. "Hello." I said. Wow... he followed me... but, I'm not supposed to give my number to a guy I meet at a bar in Adams Morgan at 1am. Hmmm. I talked to him for a bit. His military father was going with him to the the Cowboys vs Redskins game today. One of two times his father has ever said he was proud of him. He was funny... and then, I did it. I totally gave him my number. I don't know if he'll call but go figure. There's a first for everything. Neither of us were overly drunk, and I'd certainly like to know more. Wow, call me a common girl ladies and gents.

So, that was the weekend. Kate and I made a pact not to date anyone under 5 foot 10. Apparently, I'm only meeting boys that are over 6 foot 5 now. Is that kismet?

In other news, my Grandma met a boy's mother at a funeral and wants to hook me up with him. Thank heavens for Friendster. He's quite cute. I think she offered his family 3 sheep and the family diamonds.

Hope you had as fun a weekend as we did!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Saying Goodbye to Pittsburgh

Much like any good fairy tale, I despised Pittsburgh until I got to know it. My love affair with Pittsburgh, sadly, has come to an end.

I wandered down Liberty Avenue taking photos today. The immaculate combination of both modern and historic combined with the fact that Pittsburgh is an island... with suburbs on hills overlooking the downtown... made think that perhaps someday I'd like to live here. I'll post some pictures for you when I return home tomorrow.

Tonight, the National Preservation Awards were held at the intimate and ornate Carnegie Music Hall. And by the way, who knew the University of Pittsburgh had such an aesthetically pleasing campus either? When Carnegie Mellon appeared at one of our Bama college fairs, I remember shrugging it off completely- I mean, Pittsburgh? Apologies, again and again, to this wonderful city for all of my unkind thoughts and comments.

The 2006 National Preservation Awards went to a wide variety of different companies, people, and organizations. Some of the more interesting winners:

The Amoskeag Millyard in Manchester, NH which was once the world's largest cotton textile producer abandoned in 1935. It has been restored and adapted as an office district for Manchester.

Hampton Hotels' Save-A-Landmark Program where corporate and employees are restoring "quirky, cultural, and historic roadside attractions." Since most of their customers drive to their hotels, Hampton Hotels decided to give something back to America by helping preserve the character and integrity of the American roadtrip experience.

After the Cadillac Tower in Seattle was almost destroyed in the 2001 Nisqually earthquake, the owners wanted to tear it down. Historic Seattle stepped in and purchased the property. They then restored it to its original look and sold it to the National Park Service for use as part of the Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park.

The Vulcan Park Foundation worked to preserve Birmingham, AL's 56-foot-tall iron statue of Vulcan originally created in 1904 for the World's Fair and a symbol of Birmingham's past as the iron city (ie the Iron Bowl).

The National Trust/ HUD Secretary's Award for Excellence in Historic Preservation went to the Ryan Companies in Minneapolis, MN for rehabilitating the million-square-foot Sears catalogue store that went out of business about a decade ago. It is now being used as office, retail, and living space in an inner-city neighborhood.

The National Trust Board of Advisors' Award went to The Henry Ford in Dearborn, MI for finding the original Rosa Parks Bus. The bus was being used as a storage shed on a farm in Alabama. The Henry Ford then found restored the bus to the way it looked when Rosa changed the world.

Tomorrow, I'm going to check out the Strip District's open market and the Carnegie Art Museum's Louis Comfort Tiffany exhibit. Then, I'm coming back to DC for the weekend. Did ya miss me?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Some Halloween Pics by Request-

Not Your Average Fictional Stories-
Michelangelo's David, Raggedy Ann, Wonder Woman, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and a School Bus?

The Big Bad Wolf, Wonder Woman, and a Boy Scout?

Wonder Woman and Hugh Hefner?

Adventures in (Lovely) Pittsburgh- Day 2

Pittsburgh rocks! Seriously, I totally shouldn't have judged this city without ever visiting. It looks like a mixture of NYC and San Fran. I'm staying off Grant Street in Downtown Pittsburgh at the glorious Omni William Penn. I feel like I'm in a manageable version of Union Square San Francisco.

Last night, we had our Opening Plenary at the stunning Benedum Center... a historic theater that is now home to the Pittsburgh Opera, Ballet, and traveling Broadway performances. The detail and preservation was perfection.

One of the speakers was a charismatic modern day Saint who was probably the best salesman I've ever seen. William E. Strickland, Jr grew up poor in Pittsburgh's worst neighborhood. After a teacher took an interest in him, he graduated college and began a career as a ceramics artist. Seeing children in his neighborhood not be treated as they should ("Children are a product of their environment. I'm not in the business of teaching. I'm in the business of attitudes," he said), he hired Frank Lloyd Wright's student to design a building in this neighborhood in Pittsburgh. There he set up a vocational school- The Bidwell Training Center. From gardening to chef training to art and design to pharmaceutical training, the center is a "cure for the Cancer that is spreading throughout our country with 50% of African American and Hispanic children dropping out of high school," he said. He remarked on the fresh flowers and interesting art work in the building as creating the best for students to rise to the challenge. The building has never had vandalism, theft, or drug and alcohol issues. He still lives in that neighborhood. Funding has come from Dizzy Gillespie, eBay, HP, Heinz, and more. Such a hero...

After the Plenary, we headed to Sonoma Grille on Penn Ave. Absolutely delicious tapas style meal that could by far compete with any restaurant in New York. Who knew Pittsburgh was so wonderful?

I've learned much about Pittsburgh already. Did you know the David L. Lawrence Conference Center here is the largest "Green" structure in the nation?

Here's some more info on Pittsburgh from my Omni hotel room book-

-Pittsburgh ranks as the least expensive US city to live in. (Mercer Human Resources Consulting, June 2004).
-Pittsburgh rated the 46th best place to locate a business by Forbes Magazine.
-Pittsburgh's skyline rates #2 in America for beauty (USA Weekend, May 2003)
-Ranked as America's "Greenest" City based on number of Leadership in Energy and Enviornmental Design-rated buildings by Green Building Alliance.
-Pittsburgh was ranked among the cleanest US cities and the 17th in the world. (William M. Mercer)
-Pittsburgh was ranked America's sixth "most literate" among 64 metro areas with populations of more than 250,000.
- Ladies' Home Journal rated it the 11th-best city for women in cities with more than 300,000 people.
-Pittsburgh is tied for 6th place with Charlotte, Cincinnati, Dallas, Milwaukee, Philly, and St. Louis for the number of Fortune 500 companies, with seven headquarters (Fortune magazine).
-Pittsburgh is rated 19th overall in a study that analyzed business climates in US cities.
-Pittsburgh beat Boston, New York, and 154 other cities to be named the "country's best location for successful inner-city companies." (Inc. Magazine and Initiative for a Competitive Inner City).
-Ranked 10th by Expansion Magazine as places European companies target for capital investment.
-Pittsburgh is among the 25 top art destinations in the country according to American Style magazine.
-Bike Magazine ranked Pittsburgh 5th in the country as the best place to live and ride based on it's 152 miles of rails-to-trails paths.

Damn! I'm definitely a Pittsburgh lover.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Adventure in Pittsburgh- Day 1

I'm in Pittsburgh. The National Preservation Conference is being held here.

I've really never been to Pittsburgh to have such a bad taste about it. To be honest, the downtown is actually quite urban and preserved. It's just that when I was a little girl playing MASH, we'd pick to great cities to grow up in and then the person administering the game would pick two bad ones. Detroit, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh were always the bad ones. I found it rather humorous that I-76 W signs said you were on your way to Pittsburgh and Cleveland.

I drove here this morning. Here's what I've learned about the Pennsylvania Turnpike and Pittsburgh so far.

1. The Pennsylvania Turnpike was the nation's first long-distance superhighway.

2. The Amish must only listen to country. I sent out a mass text message saying, "Damn good thing I like Country music. Apparently that is all on the radio in Amish country." Jenny responded back, "Oh no! Watch out for horse and buggies- I hear those people are crazy drivers!" Not to make fun of the Amish... really... I'm sure they're great. I once dated a Quaker. That's sort of the same thing, right?

3. Heinz Ketchup is from Pittsburgh. And here I thought it was all steel and pollution! Apologies to Pittsburgh industry...

4. Andy Warhol is from Pittsburgh. Again, apologies to industry here.

5. The Homestead Strike between the Amalgamated Association of Iron and Steel Workers and Carnegie Steel Company was one of the first real battles in America. Pittsburgh really must be a blue collar city since one of the downtown history signs in the middle of a main street explains the battle and sites Henry Clay Frick as a Pittsburgh legend. You know if this was New York City, some PR agency would be saying how well the Carnegie Steel Company handled the situation instead.

And that's it so far. I'm staying at the Omni William Penn which is beautiful. I'll let you know more later. Enjoy DC for me!