Last night, Peter, Missdy, Taffy and I went to the University Club for a happy hour on their roof. Pretty University Club. It was built by President Taft in 1904. Taft is following us everywhere now. Fatty Taft.
The history about the club- it was the residence of President Kennedy before he married Jackie and moved to Georgetown. It also housed the CIA for many years as they used listening devices to hear the goings on at the Russian Embassy next door.
The University Club is one of those private clubs where every room is named after someone. The Keefer Memorial Library, the Benjamin Franklin Room, or the Pershing Grille. Of course, Taft will have his legacy kept near the food in the Taft Dining Room.
Our happy hour was on the roof. I felt a bit like a barn animal. Trapped within the confines of a brown plywood railing...
But the drinks were so cheap. Drinks for Peter, Missdy and I were a total of $10.
I was drunk.
Peter, Taffy, and I went to the Daily Grill afterwards.
Conversations:Whoes, Hobos, and Herbert Hoover-
Taffy: We have to come up with the theme of our next party. Should we follow along with the dead obscure Presidents theme?
Me: Yeah, like a Garfield party.
Taffy: Or should we go do something crazy different. Like Star Wars.
Me: Throw a Watergate party. Play the movie Nixon. Remove parts of songs. Leave binoculars everywhere.
Taffy: That could work. Although, we should probably stick to obscure Presidents instead if that's the way we're going.
Me: Ooooh a Herbert Hoover Depression party.
Taffy: I love that! People could come dressed as hobos.
Me: Ooooh, a Whoes, Hobos, and Herbert Hoover Great Depression-themed party. You could give out food stamps at the door. Cut up bread and have dipping sauces to go along with it.
Peter: What are you laughing about?
Taffy: What do you think about a Great Depression-themed party?
Peter: I love it! How about you put XXX on all the alcohol bottle labels. Serve Moonshine?
Taffy: How funny. I think it just might work.Prostate G-Spot:
Me: So the idea of getting it up the butt doesn't excite you.
Me: Why would it excite someone? I mean, if you're getting it up the butt with a reach around, honestly, aren't you just getting a hand job?
Taffy: Apparently, the male G-Spot is located in the Prostate.
Peter: Yeah, that's what men who have gotten it up the butt say.
Taffy: So, if I were to want it up the butt, and I got it up the butt, which I don't want, I guess having a reach around would be like a double whammy.
Peter: But I wouldn't want it up the butt.
Taffy: Yeah, we're just saying, apparently it feels good.Confession by Peter to Taffy that he once dated the girl Taffy just asked out:
Peter: Man, I went out with Rain a couple times. I didn't know if you knew that, but I wanted to tell you.
Taffy: I knew that, but thank for telling me.
Peter: Yeah, she asked me out so we went out a couple of times. I wasn't that into her.
Taffy: Yeah, I was into her, but she wasn't into me. No worries.
Me: Who's Rain?
Peter: She's this 32-year old. She got out of high school and was in the X Games for 8 years. Then she went back to college. She's now working to save money for medical school.
Me: And how do you know her.
Peter: She plays kickball with us.
Me: Regressed adolescence?
Taffy: No, she's really cool.
Me: I'm sure. She sounds it. But still.
I'm tired. Tonight Missdy is hosting Shabbat Cluster. Should be fun.