21 Ways You Can Tell Someone's Southern

21. Men wear Croakies to hold their Oakleys, Ray Bans, or Buccis around their neck.
20. At a mid-day barbecue outside in the depths of summer heat, women have on foundation, blush, lipstick, eye liner, and mascara.
19. Wallabees are formal men's shoes.
18. Personal belt buckles are fashionable. This is a great place to display state pride.
17. Some team's game within the SEC is reason to cancel dates and skip funerals.
16. White eyeliner and blue eye shadow go with any outfit.
15. Men's hair wouldn't flip out naturally on the sides (wings) with hair gel, so it's a total don't.
14. Khakis and a polo shirt are the ultimate clubbing gear.
13. People, places, and things are precious.
12. At least one of their friends has a first name created from the maiden name of their mother AND at least one of their friends wants to name their child Jackson.
11. High school sororities and fraternities don't sound at all odd.
10. High school parties held at vacant lots are the basis of many stories told.
9. Envelopes are always addressed Miss, Ms., Mrs., Mr., Dr.
8. Even if they've lost them, Southern accents appear when drinking or talking to someone else from the South.
7. Mamma and Daddy don't know this Mom and Dad Northerners talk about.
6. Scattered, smothered, chopped, and covered makes their mouth water.
5. Atlanta is too big. New Orleans is too wild. DC is definitely not the South.
4. Not wanting to date anyone from the North is a legitimate discrimination.
3. They still have a hard time not saying, "Yes Ma'am" or "No Sir" to their boss, even if their boss is only a couple years older then they are.
2. They can't not have a car even if they never ever drive it.

But the number one way?

1. Even if they've not lived in the South in dozens of years, home will always be wherever they grew up in the South.

Silver Mysteries

My Great Aunt's husband passed away last night in his sleep. My Auntie May married Lloyd, her second husband, before I was born. I haven't seen him in nearly 10 years, but I fondly remember running around their Boca apartment or shopping with them at the Miami flea market. She's a remarkably strong woman, and I am hurt for her right now.

My father always says that we don't mourn for the loss of a person's life. Humans are far too fickle. Instead, we mourn for the loss of what they mean to our existence. That is why legacy is so important to our species.

Coincidentally, last night BG and I went to the Decatur House for the opening of their new exhibit, Silver Mysteries. Black and white pictures by Volkmar Wentzel (famed National Geographic photographer and writer) from his time spent living in Lafayette Square during 1935 and 1937 are on display including several selections from his Washington at Night collection.

Although the people and cars have changed much in DC (Black neighborhoods and Ford Model T-style fire engines), we've done a wonderful job of keeping our historic National buildings preserved. Many of the pictures of Washington landmarks could have been taken last week.

A quote on the invitation reads, "I am still fascinated by the silver mystery of black and white photography. It... is the equivalent of abstraction in painting or sparse prose in literature." - Volkmar Wentzel.

Mr. Wentzel's widow was present last night as well. The guest speaker was Terrance B. Adamson, Executive Vice President of the National Geographic Society. He spoke of Mr. Wentzel's legacy... more about how he got started as a photographer and found his way into National Geographic. He came to Washington without a high school degree or trade. After meeting a photographer, Mr. Wentzel accompanied him on a shoot of the French Ambassador's wife. After one of the photos Mr. Wentzel took was selected for the Washington Star, his photographer friend loaned him a huge camera with a long lens and book of photos of Paris at night. Mr. Wentzel spent night after night out taking photos of Washington. He didn't use a flash. He always used a tripod. Walking by the National Geographic office one day, he recalled hearing that they had just expanded their photo lab. He stopped in and convinced someone to show him this lab. Then he made friends with the impossible HR Director, and soon enough, he started a lifelong career at National Geographic... including writing more than half of the stories attached to his photographs. Mr. Wentzel, apparently, was also the driving force behind National Geographic's photograph archives. Quite an important legacy.

As for Lloyd, I'm fondly thinking of myself sitting in his lap as he shuffled a deck of cards. Legacies come in all different forms.

Tid Bits

Suave's Dad-



is in a Jewish men's motorcycle group in Scottsdale called J.O.B.S., aka Jews on Bikes. They wear the t-shirt to your left.






My parents attended Woofstock in Mobile, AL yesterday-

Do you ever think back to a time when seeing a dog sitting next to you at a fancy restaurant was annoying? I went to Google search the event, and came up with about 12 other cities holding Woofstocks. Here's a couple.
Toronto, Ontario
Eureka, CA
Kenosha, WI
Central Pennsylvania
Wichita, KS

In regards to the Spot-

Turns out the people who own the apartment next to us left for two years to go out of the country. They won't respond to our landlord regarding the noise issues for the guys next door. They won't fix the air conditioning. In some ways, I feel badly for the boys. They're locked into a lease for 2 years and feel like the neighborhood is picking on them because they are students. My landlord tried one more time to reach the owners of the townhouse. Here's part of the letter.

I stopped by to speak in person to your tenants yesterday afternoon at theirrequest to discuss my concern over the noise. The conversation was cordial and they seem to be making an effort to be considerate of their neighbors. We agreed to relax the standard for quiet time to 10pm weekdays and midnight on weekends (from the DC regulations of 9pm). But they understand that I will have to pursue other paths for resolving the problems if they continue. They complained that they are being treated coldly by some of the other neighbors, perhaps unfairly because they are students. I also learned that several of them will be moving out soon for a semester abroad and they intend to sublease, likely to other students. Perhaps it would be best forall involved if you release them from their lease at that time, rather than allow this difficult situation to drag on for two years. It should be feasible for you to rent the house to a World Bank, IMF, or embassy family. For instance, I think I can get the contact information for the housing coordinator for the British Embassy for you. Regards.

The Pea is in India.

Her Mom and Grandma are travelling with her. She's been sending us hilarious emails. Here's part of the most recent one.

Cool things I've learned (don't laugh):
1. Hindus have Temples Muslims have Mosques
(and after a day at the temples my feet are black-I left my socks in the hotel room...)

2. While in Indian you must use deet to protect yourself from the diseases that mosquito's could carry (my mom thinks fly's are suspect too..) anyhow DEET takes off everything most recently of note nailpolish and the shiny black coating on my watch....um I really don't want to know what it does to your skin

3. India does not observe day lights saving time, and guessing what time it is back home is not worth it-my mom did get immense enjoyment out of calling home last night when it was 10:30pm our time and she thought it would be 9am, my grandmother thought 7 and i thought 12-we were prepared to say "what time is it, oh sorry did we wake you we had no idea...no we haven't been talking about it at dinner for the last half hour" well moral was it was 1 o'clock and no we didn't wake him...oh and india is an extra half hour ahead too, why?!?--a special present it you find out the answer

Other things of note:
1. Flight into Delhi was great, airplane food on Virgin is not too bad-HOWEVER the little canister I thought was salad dressing clearly was not-apparently it was some spice, and it was HOT, now I'm not talking wasabi hot, i'm talking drink a bottle of water and sprint to the back to get another drink hot, yep i'm the adventurous one-I survived the experience although I think I was sweating for 15 minutes after

2. You can buy some pretty cool things for under 500 rupels ($10) but is the added weight to your suitcase worth it?

Well tomorrow we are off to the Himalayas, we have enjoyed our short stay in Delhi, what an introduction it has been.

Hope all is well back at home!

Love,
Pea


And that's all folks. Have a nice day!

Princess Leah and the Devil Sitting in a Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

One of my favorite things about Halloween is seeing random combinations of characters hanging out.

Princess Leah was making out with a Devil. Cruella Deville was dancing with a Guiness Brew Master late night. Will Farrell's Robert Goulet chatted up Kate Moss, and a Doctor bummed a light for his cigarette from Zach Morris and Screech. Mario and the Princess seemed to find Dorothy and the Scarecrow hilarious, and Goldie Lock's bear decided to leave with his friend, a lady bug. Some really drunks tourist told me I was hot and slapped my ass. A girl on a walk of shame helped a Flip Cup table blow-up a doll she received for winning the best costume of the night, and a Geisha borrowed lipstick from a pregnant Brittany Spears.

I dressed in full Wonder Woman attire. Pictures will follow.

Friday night, I met Peter, Ralph, and three of the Lost Boys for a law firm's party at the Embassy Suites in Chevy Chase. I entered as Wonder Woman with the Guiness Brew Masters (Peter and Ralph), a Boy Scout, and Hugh Hefner. At the party, we met a group of Peter's friends dressed as Raggedy Ann, a school bus, Michelangelo's David, and Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder. Once upon a time, Raggedy Ann had a crush on one of the Guiness Brew Masters. I thought that was a pretty funny vision... and yet, disturbingly, a little Woodsman-like. Kate realized that's one creepy thing about dressing up like a little girl (she was dressed at Goldie Locks).

I drank entirely too much and on the cab ride to another party in Adams Morgan, I decided it was time for Wonder Woman to call it a night. For the record, Wonder Woman spent the rest of her Friday night hunched over a toilet, Lasso of Truth at her side. There's something not in the DC Comics.

Saturday night, Jenny came over dressed at white trash. She'd found a blonde wig with black roots and rocked it with blue eye shadow, red lipstick, a zebra-print tube top, dollar bills tucked in her shirt, and a trucker hat attached to her skinny leg cropped pants. We met Goldie Locks, Peter Pan, Missdy dressed as a lock (with her friend as the key), and others out for a fabulous party (written up in the Post actually) in Adams Morgan.

The party had a bouncer, DJ, and insane decorations as well as 900 people on the Evite (with 300 saying yes, they'd attend). One of the 5 hosts, a good friend of Goldie Locks, was dressed as the Devil with a black t-shirt with Prada printed on it. He spent much of the night hanging out with Holly Golightly. Another host wore a Jolly Green Giant outfit with a sash that read "Banned by the FDA."

Along the main room's walls, the hosts had placed haunted forrest scene setters and strobe lights to create a haunted atmosphere. I met Bo Duke, a handsome 21-year-old from Bama, and Goldie Locks was acosted by a skeleton with an obvious pedophilia.

Definitely a fun weekend totally rewriting your favorite Grimms book.

One more party to go... the Decatur House's Ghosts and Sprits on Tuesday night.

Wonder Freakin' Woman....

My dilemna:

To wear the bathing suit version of the Wonder Woman costume, a la the DC Comics character, or to sport the longer and tamer denim skirt version, a la Linda Carter.

I sent Peter the following picture:



His response: I think a cartoon just gave me a woody.

Fabulousness!

Suave took me as her hot plus one to the Fairmont DC's Signature Event last night. The Fairmont creates an elaborate event to entice potential conference planners. Last night's was pretty much ridiculous. The theme was "green." Very modern organic.

We walked down the spotless marble staircase to three screens showing movies of water falls. Faux trees draped in moss lined the ballroom entry way. Nature sounds echoed throughout the room. Inside the ballroom, the tango was being performed on a round stage in a room decked in glass tables with moss covered bottoms and flowers hanging from the roof via industrial wine racks. The combination of live greens, water, stainless steel, and white was so visually fragmented and confusing that it just worked marvelously. New. The designs were very very new.

The Mexican first course was cerviche and a margarita shot served in a round ice sculpture. A Chinese dragon and band performed for the next course with an Asian sampler served including a delicious Kobe beef treat. The main course was Middle Eastern lamb and Israeli couscous with the entertainment of 6 belly dancers on stage. Cheese was served from the Mid-Atlantic and then the most amazing Canadian themed white chocolate mousse cake was presented with a Celine Dion impersonator.

As we exited the ballroom, a candy bar awaited us with Chinese takeout boxes to fill up. The valet delivered our cars with a gift bag including truffles, a thank you note, and two bottles of water.

Astrology

Not that I was crazy about the book, but the concept of The Five People You Meet in Heaven got me thinking. How nice that Heaven would be a place where you'd get to find out what your life meant?

As one that believes in fate and destiny and soulmates and love-at-first-sight, the scariest thing for me has always been not knowing what will happen next. You know that eternal question- Would you want to know when and how you'd die?- I'd say yes. Definitely yes.

Until I was 20, I never gave much thought to Astrology. I read my horoscope in Seventeen, but I don't think I even remembered I was a Libra. It wasn't until I was heartbroken over a close guy friend that I started to pay attention.

Late one night, Erica and I walked into my apartment to my roommate hysterically crying into the phone. It turned out she was lamenting the loss of her boyfriend to a Psychic. Erica and I were drunk. Very drunk. So we decided to ask the Psychic some questions of our own. Would Erica end up with Derrick (her then boyfriend who couldn't commit and who we found about a month later in bed with someone else). Nope. Erica would meet someone in a year who she would be with forever. It was my turn. Would I be with Marc? Nope. I wouldn't meet the one for a while. I'd need to graduate college, and then I'd have a string of Gemini love interests. Eventually, I'd end on a quiet Gemini who balanced me. I had to wait? How long? Sucky.

I spent $200 at Barnes and Noble the next day on Astrology books.

I thought, "you mean something can tell me what might happen in my life!"

Not that I believe all of it. In fact, yesterday I had a ridiculously specific horoscope that insisted I'd meet a man at a bookstore. I wasn't planning on going to a bookstore. Should I have gone to a bookstore? Was it in my destiny to read that horoscope and thus go to the bookstore?

But anyways.

Was the Psychic right? Yes, so far, she's been right. Erica and Jeff met when I was 21. They've been together for 6 years. They just bought a house in South Boston. I had never dated a Gemini before to my knowledge.

The only Gemini I knew was my first crush at UMass. We'd been the top students in Entomology 101 my Freshman year. I was into him, but due to a twist of fate, we'd both ended up hooking up with each other's best friends. We'd stayed friends, and so Junior year, we decided to date. He bored me to death. Our second date was pottery painting. It took him 5 dates to kiss me. My friends were convinced we should get married. He was blonde with huge green eyes, and together, we looked like Zach and Kelly. It fizzled, and I dated a Capricorn- a Cancer- a Scorpio- an Aries- a couple Libras....

Until I graduated college and went backpacking in Europe.

In San Sebastian, on a nude beach with gorgeous Alyssa (topless is the only way I'd ever even have a shot next to her!), we met Danny and Simon. Aussies. Simon was a 6 foot 2 firefighter from Sydney who called me Spunk as a sign of endearment. I couldn't understand a word he said most of the time, but I loved kissing him. He was so strong. We traveled to the French Riviera with them, and Simon and I held hands as we walked down the streets of Monaco.

Alyssa said she'd never seen me be like that with a guy before. He was very much the one in charge.

Turned out he was a Gemini.

I dated 2 other Gemini when I returned back to the US. Then I met Jerk, a Gemini, and we dated for 3 years. After that ended, I had a Leo and a Cancer and a Pisces, but eventual met APK, a Gemini.

I'm sort of sick of Gemini though. As different as they are (yes, I know this has to do with Moon Signs too), they're all flighty, vain, and insensitive. So, I wonder, what does this mean for my future?

Is it possible I'm not destined to be with anyone?

The IT Factor

No one can explain what the "it factor" is....

In the past the “it factor” might have been defined as someone with je ne sais quoi, or the indefinable something that makes someone special. The “it factor”, was also called the X Factor in some cases, and still may be referred to as such. Most often, it is applied to celebrities or semi-celebrities that seem to radiate charisma and charm.

I don't think IT is exclusive to celebrities though. People with IT are those you remember attended an event. They get left out of things intentionally, because they're completely polar... you either like them or you don't. No grey areas with people possessing IT.

People with IT get talked about. People with IT get dirty looks. The thing is, people with IT, are noticeable. Very very noticeable. Unforgettable.

Damn the man! Cheers to Sam.

Cheers to my first official weekend as a single woman... though it definitely was not free of drama.

Friday night, I went out with BG and two of his friends for a "boys night out." Except I'm not a boy. But BG insisted I act like one. When I mentioned that I didn't want an Empanada because I was officially on my break-up diet, BG jokingly snapped at me "Men don't talk about dieting. Stop." It was the first time I've hung out with the three of those guys together, alone, since moving to DC. On my first trip down to DC from NYC last summer, they took me to a party in the basement of the Big Hunt. It was decorated to look like Hell. You know your company must be entertaining when you have fun in the basement of a dive bar decorated to look like the worst place imaginable.

I met my Junior League Advisor and New Member group at Saint-Ex for brunch on Saturday morning. Not as wonderful as you'd think. We didn't even get a glimpse of the hottie chef who was in the Sexy Singles issue of Washingtonian back in June.

Last night, Jenny and I had plans to meet Grants Boy at Sonoma at 9pm then move to the Capital Lounge. I picked her up at 8:30pm, and we were planning to Metro together to Capital Hill South. On route back to my apartment, a white Corolla in front of me missing a rear headlight stopped before I could. I was going about 2 miles an hour, so the bump was nothing to severe. My car was fine, but his white bumper had marks from my car's grill. He got out of the car to come over. He had a couple gold fillings, a stained t-shirt on, and a hat turned to one side. Crap.

I called 311 immediately. It was just before 9pm. They said they couldn't estimate a time for me, but someone would be along shortly. The guy in the car told me "Nice car you have there. I know you probably are off to some hot date. How about you give me $50, and we can go on our way." At 9:30pm, I called 311 again. Someone had been dispatched, I was told. At 10pm, I called again. I described exactly where I was... a priority call had come across the system and so my dispatched car was not able to come. It shouldn't be much longer. They were low on Policeman that night. Jenny to that info, "Good to know if we want to rob a store or something."

At 10:15pm, I called again. "Is he trying to leave the scene?" "No, I hit him. But it's minor. We need a witness." "Someone will be there shortly."

A man in an SUV asked us to scoot up so he could park in an empty spot.

At 10:30pm, "Well, what's the physical address exactly?" "21st Street between Massachusetts and P." "A physical address?" "Fine, 1508 21st Street." "Someone was dispatched for you at 22:08pm. Should be there in a few."

11pm came slowly. I called again. "Look, I don't know what to tell you. You only called at 10:30pm. No one is dispatched to you currently. I will put it in now." "Holy Shit! No I didn't. I have a terrible cough that's making it hard for me to breath and need to use the restroom. We've been waiting for 2 hours now, and this dude's going to leave and file a complaint that I gave him whiplash. Can you not send anyone, campus police from GW? Foot police? I find it hard to believe there's no Police at all in Dupont Circle." "I'm sorry. Nothing we can do." "If you can't breath, we can send an ambulance. No Police can come though." Then she hung up on me.

The man in the SUV returned at moved his car. "They've still not come," he said. "Nope." "Useless. Then they wonder why DC has so much crime." I laughed.

11:15pm, I called again. A different operator connected me to the Supervisor. "You need to calm down or I won't talk to you. Put someone else on the phone or I'm hanging up." "Fine." "There's no one there to come around. No one's been dispatched. It might be a couple more hours."

I spotted to Police Officers down near the Starbucks on P and 21st. "I'm see two Policeman just down the street." "They're not their for you. No one's out for you right now." "Well I'm going to ask them to come over. You're useless." I hung up and ran down to the Policeman. They were very sweet. They finished what they were doing and came up to our accident. They made us exchange info. No form. No report. Nothing. How come 311 couldn't just tell me that?

Jenny and I had been making phone calls throughout the long 2 1/2 hour ordeal. We rushed back to my house, jumped in a cab, met Peter and the Master at Brass Monkey, and proceeded to take several shots.

I was picked up by a foreign gentleman with a horrid pointy Adam's Apple. "You have dangerous eyes," he commented. "Nope, not dangerous at all. Thanks though. Bye."

Peter told me my big red belt made me look like Minnie Mouse.

A creepy guy with pubes on his chin sat down at our table. "I have a girlfriend, but I think you're cute." "Uh, it's 2am, I wouldn't go home with you anyways. Sit and talk." I was drunk and bored... "Who's that? Your friend?" "Yeah, that's Peter. This is Jenny." "How do you know them?" "Peter for 10 months through mutual friends. Jenny, from home in Bama since we were 5 years old." Peter and Jenny were talking animatedly. "Peter's got Spirit Finger." "Huh," I asked. "Spirit Finger, you know like in Bring It On. Uh, my girlfriend made me watch it."

I then called the Mascot via Peter's phone to tell him I thought he was hot from Peter's Flickr pictures. He's on my hit list. I create a hit list after each breakup. It's a list of guys I would have been interested in during the time I was in a relationship had I not been taken. I usually don't get very far with any of them, but I do it more to keep me busy while I heal from the relationship. The Mascot is very attractive, though I'm told a bit dumb. I could go for that one for a bit. So, now he knows I exist and want to meet him.

Yeah.

We closed down the bar, and I headed home to pass out.

I had brunch with Pea, the Master, Suave, and Missdy this morning at Front Page. I found out that another guy on my hit list is known for having "seen more ass than a toilet seat." We liked that line so much we decided we'd like to use the line "She's seen more dick than a urinal." at some point on someone. I'll let you know who, what, where, and when.

Hope you had a good weekend. Again, I'm accepting applications for potential interests and also petitions against the DC police. I wonder if that new Dunkin' Donuts on 17th is to blame.

Urg! The Spot!

Yeah, they look hot playing football in the streets with their shirts off and all... but, dude, living next to a bunch of 20 year old GW Students when you're 27 isn't something out of a porn. Frankly, it's annoying as hell.

I've mentioned that they moved in to the ridiculously gorgeous town house next to ours, I think. They've placed a neon sign in the doorway that reads "The Spot." From our shower, we can spot a Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band poster. One day shortly after we moved in, they were half naked in their kitchen in broad daylight smoking out of a bong. They've been fairly nice. I was standing outside my front door one day and noticed that one of them had on a bathrobe and the other a polo shirt popped up with Ray Ban Aviators. I asked if they were having a theme party. Indeed, they were having a WASP and JAP party. I was invited. When I declined, I was offered a beer. And while this cordial behavior warmed me up at 10pm on a Saturday night, at 1am on a Thursday night, Kate and I weren't so thrilled.

Kate's letter to our landlord today:

I wanted to let you know that this has been a bad week with the neighbors. They were making unreasonable amounts of noise on both Wed and Thursday nights. I called the police last night who came round. I spoke with them and they got one of the student's names for me and recommended that if this continues we report them to the school. Apparently they want to come round and work things out with us, but as I explained to the police, there's not a lot to work out, they just need to keep the noise down on week nights.

Part of the problem is that they are still keeping all their windows open, which leads me to believe that their air conditioning has not been fixed. I was wondering if you could email the owners again to see if they are going to fix this and also to let them know that their tenants' unreasonable behavior is continuing. Apparently they have rented the house for two years, which is very concerning.

Sam and I have pretty much decided we are taking a zero tolerance approach moving forward and are going to call the police every time they start up as it's having a very detrimental effect on our living experience. Please let me know if you think there's anything else we should do.

I should feel really old. But then again, I'd rather feel old than tired. And today, I feel more tired than old!

Pizzzzza

Last night, I met Sabrina for goodbye drinks at Lucky Bar. I'm sad to see her go, but I know it is for the best. She'll enjoy Denver. Denver. Damn, so far away.

Afterwards, I met Grants Boy out in Clarendon. I've decided against allowing myself to be sad. I know why I'm sad though, so that's at least a plus. I'm scared, more than anything, that I'll wake up one morning thinking perhaps there isn't someone out there. I'm scared of loosing my optimism... my belief that everyone has a soul mate, and everything happens for a reason. But anyways, I've decided not to let myself think. It wasn't meant to be with APK. Done.

So, I went to VA to meet Grants Boy for drinks and dinner. We chose Faccia Luna because I was totally just lamenting that I ordered Domino's in. Domino's. The only food I know enough to judge is pizza, and I'm ordering the most mass-produced version. Blah.

We sat at the bar. An older gentleman in his mid-40s asked us how the pizza was. "Delicious," I said. "I came all the way from DC to eat it." It turned out he was one of the owners. We got to talking about pizza. New York pizza, Boston pizza, New Haven's overrated Pepe's pizza. I learned that the Alexandria location of Faccia Luna has a wood-oven and chocolate mousse that can, apparently, compete with Pastis's recipe. I learned that the owner is a Memphis barbecue judge... and fruit woods are the new thang in place of hickory chips. Faccia Luna uses fresh sausage, so you should always order that on your pizza. Next time. It was fun to chat to someone who knows much about my favorite food.

Anyways, so today, I'm stuffed up. My glands are swollen. I'm staying home from work. Blogging.

More Pictures-

I'm taking a blogging break and creating a mini-photo album today. See below entry...

Bama is full of good ol' boys. Above are two of the guys who jaded me... Tom and John. Tom drove a huge white Chevy truck and loved the Dukes of Hazzard and huntin'. John's still one of my best friends in the world. One night about a year ago while I was visiting Mobile, John came out to dinner with my parents and I. We were all dressed up. After going to the bars, we got back to his car to find it had a flat tire. John pulls off his button-down and hands me his hat (a cowboy hat he's named Lucy). I asked if I could help, and he tells me to just light a cigarette for him. Total hotness! If he wasn't one of my closest friends in the world...

These are my best friends from high school- Elise, Margaret, and Melissa. We went to a private Episcopalian school. We all dressed in white on the Sunday before graduation and went to Church. Only in Bama. Also, hadn't quite learned how to straighten my hair or shape my eyebrows, but anyways...

The gals again at graduation. We all got on a bus afterwards and went to this kid's house with sleeping bags and tons of alcohol. I wasn't smiling so much the next morning.

Ah, Senior prom. I took the hottest guy to my Junior prom. He was a year older than me at the other private school. I had such a crush on him. Senior year Bethany, in the front, was dating this dude in the grade below us. Since none of us were dating anyone to seriously, we all ended up going with one of the guys from that group. Mine was my friend Tyler. I look back on pictures now and realize that he was pretty ridiculously attractive. At the time though, I only liked the complete a-holes. Also, note about this prom dress on me. Good Lord it was short! I remember arguing with my mom that I wanted to have it hemmed. At least, in my defense, by then I'd already discovered thongs.

I've been writing much recently...

Thanks for reading and all, but I thought perhaps you'd enjoy some pictures for a day. I present to you a bunch of random pictures from pre-digital camera days that I just decided to finally scan so I could put them as comments on my friends' MySpace pages.

When you're a 5'7" brunette with child-bearing hips, you pretty much have to be Wonder Woman for Halloween.



Actually, some girl two years ahead of me in college was Wonder Woman every Halloween. I had to wait until my Junior year to rock the costume without comparison. Here's my Sophomore year with Erica and Ali. Erica and I were definitely in high demand that night... huge breasts, tiny skirts, high heels... damn, even I wanted us.



I love this picture purely, because I totally helped Lindsay duck tape her boobs up for the night.



This picture cheered me up while I'm getting used to the idea of being single again. That's one of my good friends Amanda at a sorority crush party. We all didn't have any man worth taking so we went together. I ended up dancing the night away with one of the security guards. Who needs a man anyhow!

Should breaking up be hard to do?

As I'm sure ya'll could tell from the last couple blog entries, APK and I have officially decided to take an amicable break.

We've been dating now for 10 months. He's helped me get over much of the leftover baggage from my past relationship with Jerk. Since knowing him, I have met some of the greatest friends in DC. I've deleted an old blog and begun this blog. He's dated someone for longer than he's dated anyone exclusively since high school. It's been a nice ride, but I think we both realize we might not be in love with one another.

I've never had this mature an ending to a relationship. I'm not sure what to do from here. I didn't even cry. I'm not jealous. Besides a minor loss of appetite (hallelujah, skinny jeans here I come!!!), I'm not really that stressed out.

I think we didn't let it get to the point of blow-up. That's always been my problem. I never walk away when I should. Guys find someone else. Girls get angry, even, upset. But I'm not angry. I don't hate APK. I don't even see why we can't be friends. If the primary reason it didn't work out is because of a lack of love, why is that even hurtful? Especially if we both feel the same way about the situation.

I'm staring at a strange path. One year ago today, I didn't even know that APK existed. I was still pretty emotionally destroyed from the end of the relationship with Jerk and the demise of the passion between BG and I. One year ago, I wasn't okay. But I'm okay now. I have amazing friends and a good job in a fun city. I've still not been to the Corcoran. Last night, I volunteered for the first time at the Christ Church soup kitchen. There's so much ahead and not so much behind. I'm not sure, but I think, perhaps, APK and I could be friends.

I'm friends with a handful of guys I've dated. Usually it requires a heated fight and time spent not talking at all. I don't know that APK and I need to do that. I don't know that I want to cut him out of my pictures or avoid parties he might attend. I don't know that we need to do that. Consider it an experiment, but I actually think, if you realize that the reason you're not together is because you make better friends than lovers, is it really that impossible to do?

I'll let you know. But in the meantime, my roommate and I are single (well, both on break) for the first time ever. Changes all around. I need to go buy some new clothes.

Colorado Bound

So Sabrina and B2 broke up. Sort of. He can't make up his damn mind. He's not sure he loves her, but wait, yes! yes! He loves her. He's not sure she's the one, but wait, he wants to marry her. He's not sure he sees a future with her, but wait, he wants to buy tickets in May for her to come home with him in November. Finally, she stopped caring. Okay, she didn't stop caring (more like stopped eating from a knot in her tummy). But she realized, hey, this guy just isn't right.

So she took a job in Denver. She moves in a week.

She didn't take the job because of the breakup. That's clear from talking to her. She wasn't crazy about her job here, and two of her best friends have recently moved to Denver.

She's one of 4 people I know in the last year who have moved to Denver. Is Denver, like, the new San Fran?

But yeah, I'm sad to see her go.

B2 bet she wouldn't go. Asshole. He knows she played Ultimate Frisbee in college (not to mention biking 32 miles each Saturday), don't bet an athlete. Don't bet someone you love.

His Mom asked him if it ever occured to him that maybe she wanted him to tell her to stay. He told her his Mom said that.

So, while I'm sad to see her go, yeah, I'm thrilled to know that there's a girl out there strong enough to say, "You don't love me the way I need to be loved. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you. I'm moving on with my life. Adieu!"

I'll be using this as an example in my girly advice for a while. If you love someone, don't let them go.

What I Want...

I don't emote well. After my breakup last summer, I went to see a Psychologist. She told me I move to fast never letting myself feel anything for too long. I repress much better than much else. I was told that I need to stop working over time to forget the problems in my head and start, instead, to understand them. For a girl who obsesses over signs and fate and destiny, it is strange that I'm so lackadaisical about my emotions.

APK gave me a journal, which covered in intricately patterned embossed leather, is much to attractive to store away, sits on a stand next to my bed. Thus, when I had yet another nightmare, I decided to use to start a list of what I want. I used to keep a journal next to my bed when I was handling my diagnosed Anxiety Disorder and insomnia. I was told to track the things that kept me awake. I'm not sure how this list even began. It wasn't something I intended to start writing.

My two best friends in high school, Elise and Melissa, and I once wrote lists for what we wanted in our future husband. Mine was tall and blonde. He was an ex-football star who practiced Judaism and grew up going to the Kennedy complex on his weekends. He had dimples and blue eyes. He got along with all of my guy friends from high school, most of who I don't even talk to anymore. He loved his Mom and Dad. He got straight A's in school. He would jump infront of a bus for me. Basically, I created someone who couldn't possibly exist. We summed it up by saying the one thing we wanted most. Elise said the guy she married would think she was smart. Melissa said the guy she married would think she was beautiful and not want to be with anyone else. I said the guy I married wouldn't ever tell me I over analyzed.

But I'm an adult now.

I've had relationships and baggage and that blonde guy who I thought was perfect, but turned out to be a pathetic, cocaine-using, small dicked.... well you get the point.

So here's my life of what I want. Maybe not all things, but I'd like enough to feel like I don't need to make anymore lists.

1) To have someone to call everyday, if I want, or not call everyday, if I don't.
2) To say "I love you" and hear it back.
3) To talk about the future in terms of "We."
4) To have a +1 on wedding invites.
5) To know the person I'm dating's family and vice versa.
6) To go on trips with someone.
7) To sign a friend's birthday card together.
8) To have an emergency contact locally on medical forms.
9) To not have to ration and keep tabs of the night per week I see them.
10) To have them save me once of twice in my dreams.
11) To not think about the positives of my bad past relationships in comparison to my partner's negatives.
12) To not worry about being needy or dependent.
13) To not worry that they'll leave me if I say what I want.
14) To not have to hook up every night we're together.
15) To not read my partner's horoscope everyday without fear it will say they're going to meet someone else.
16) To not be jealous or scared of being left without them.
17) To not have to look my best all the time.
18) To spend the day inside with someone doing nothing at all.
19) To cook dinner together.
20) To not have to question if they'll invite me as their +1 to a wedding.
21) To have someone read my blog just because they're interested in what I have to say.
22) To have someone want to buy a pet with me.
23) To have someone comfortable enough to pee while I'm in the shower.
24) To have someone remember my favorite flowers (It's not that hard. Oriental lilies and red roses.)
25) To have someone want me so badly that they might even have sex with me while I'm on my period.
26) To know that once we've both been tested and I'm on birth control, we can have sex without a condom if we're exclusive.
27) To be told I'm beautiful every once in a while.
28) To not have to tell the same important story three times just to have someone know what I'm referencing.
29) To know that if I was kidnapped, they'd notice.
30) To not have to constantly explain that I'm not trying to take away the time they spend with their buddies.
31) To know I am as important to them as their buddies.
32) To have someone in a frame next to my bed.
33) To give someone the key to my apartment.
34) To have someone wear clothes around me that they know I like on them.
35) To keep facewash and a toothbrush at someone else's house so that I don't have to plan to stay over.
36) To feel comfortable enough to go out with my friends while they're out with theirs and then meet up later for sleep.
37) To have someone look deep into my eyes.
38) To grocery shop for two.
39) To take care of someone when their sick.
40) To be taken care of when I'm sick.
41) To go to places together knowing we can separate if necessary.
42) To not just be someone they're physically attracted to, but someone they want to talk to as well.
43) To have a best friend first and boyfriend second.
44) To not be scared that they're into any of my friends.
45) To not have them discuss whether they'd date any of my friends.
46) To not feel like I'm infringing on their space by spending time with them at a party or bar.
47) For my friends to tell me whoever I'm with really likes me.
48) To have someone who mirrors my best personality treats and doesn't bring out my worst.
49) To not wait for the blow-up that will end the relationship.
50) To fall in love.

Emotional enough???

Issue #73 – "Recovering Frat Boy" - October 9th, 2006

This is a great article! Thanks to Vive for forwarding it along.

Recovering frat boys aren’t required to have ever been Greek. In fact, they
don’t even have to be boys. On average, every other Evite I received from girls
over the past year has been for some sort of elaborate, costume/theme party that
reminds me of sophomore year. If you’re a strong, independent woman in her
mid-twenties who is still throwing parties entitled Pimps & Hos, Forties
& Hos, or Golf Pros & Tennis Hos, you are most definitely a recovering
frat boy. Dressed like a whore. (more)

Have you ever...

noticed how the looks of many women can be categorized into those of animals?

I see the following as the primary groups we belong within:

Bird women-

Pointy noses, big eyes, usually blonde hair. Some missing chins.
Paris Hilton sort of looks like a bird to me.

mousy girls-

Small little things with huge eyes and smaller features. Many have pointy ears and huge cheeks. Rachel Bilson is mouse-like.

Daisy Ducks-

Does anyone else think Daisy Duck sort of looks like Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke? I'm categorizing women with huge, usually unnecessary, bottoms as Daisy Ducks. Bubble butts to me resemble duck rear. Who cares if they've got big lips or nice eyes, all you can notice is their big ol' lower half. So Ass men out there, think about it, you're screwing a duck bottom in my mind. And please, don't let this become a new fetish porn banned in the US. I might become a nun if I start seeing duck porn in stores. Did anyone else see Howard the Duck? What a strange movie that was...

Siamese if you please-

So, I've been told I look like a car. Sultry eyes, little nose, dark lashes. I suppose lots of women have this kitty look (hmmm, maybe that's where the word we're all thinkin' about now comes from?). As far as someone we all know, I'd say Jessica Alba has a total feline appeal.

So, yeah, definitely not every women falls into one of the above categories. However, I think you'll find that the more you look at people in this way, the more you'll see how right I am.

Dreams

I've been having these horridly vivid dreams lately about being attacked. It doesn't help that I've just turned 27 and in mid- "that time of the month". Dream analysis is strange... a bit like Free Will Astrology, because you can interpret the meaning to be whatever fits your current life.

The dreams started last Tuesday night. A faceless man went on my MySpace profile and saw where I worked. He followed me home where 3 other men appeared. They cut my hands off with scissors and tossed me onto the floor where they proceeded to start raping me. Peter and Ralph busted in the floor. Ralph stabbed one of the men and killed him. One of the other men grabbed the knife and turned it on Ralph who died. Then Peter found a gun and shot both the men. I woke up in chills and tears at 3am. I turned my computer on and set my MySpace & Friendster profiles to private, then laid in bed awake until 6am, finally going to Starbucks to get a cup of coffee.

Rape, when not a recurring theme and with a faceless attacker, signifies unresolved anger toward something or someone most likely of the opposite sex. I am being personally violated, thwarted, or ruthlessly exploited in waking life.

Loosing my hands means that I am feeling handicapped in some way either by not being able to do what I want to do or expressing myself in the way I would like.

The last couple of nights, I have been pushed out of a plane (fear of a loss of control), chased down the street by a man with a stocking over his face (Unresolved circumstances, situation, emotions plaguing you), and almost drowned in a pool (Losing ones emotional control. Situation is out of control.)

I've stopped walking places and taking the Metro at night.

I was telling my coworker about the dreams. She asked me if I ever save myself in my dreams. I don't. Either I wake up or I'm saved. BG shouted at the man who was chasing me, and he ran away. The Master threw me a life preserver in the pool and shot the man pushing me under. I'm told this isn't good. Not being able to save yourself in your subconscious is a sign that you don't see yourself as strong enough to survive alone.

When I broke up with Jerk, I have a confession. I couldn't watch the early episodes of Sex & the City. I was paranoid of ending up like these mid-30s women still partying without anyone to love like I did at 21 as an intern in NYC. I have trouble admitting it much of the time, but more than anything, I do want to fall in love and have children.

I fear that these dreams are signifying that I'm understanding how little control I have over the one thing I want most in life. It is depressing to admit. I guess the first step is admitting it to myself.

Monday Off

Work is closed today for Columbus Day. Why Lincoln and Washington are forced to share a holiday and Columbus still gets his own (moron thought America was India) I have yet to figure out, but all the same.

My birthday was low key and fantastic. I felt really loved... which is all I could ask for on a day that celebrates me.

APK gave me a journal. I used to keep journals, but now I keep a blog... or so I thought. Journals are nice for writing down your thoughts as they occur. Also, I'm learning about filtering. Ya'll probably don't really want to hear all about the Randy Spears late-80s video classic we rented after dinner on my Thursday now do you?

My first journal thoughts-

5 things women start to do as they age:

1) Footnote

Have you ever noticed women never stop gossiping but rather mature and perfect the adolescent past time? Instead of talking about that friend of a friend who sleeps with a different guy every night as a flat out whore, we start to footnote the gossip. Like:

"Oh yeah, Janie's not talking to Cindy anymore. Cindy slept with half of DC and is rumored to have herpes. Did you hear about that night at Local 16 with that Army dude? Not that I'm saying she's not a nice and fun person. [footnote] She is a totally sweet person and so smart. She's just a bit of a slut."

"Oh she's totally not competition for you. She's fat and ugly. [footnote] She's super smart though. I hope she can find a guy who'd appreciate that."

2) Etiquette

I've never been surrounded by so many etiquette questions. Can I not invite her to my rehearsal dinner even if I invite you? How long do I have until I need to write a thank you note? Did you see Kate Spade's new book on Manners? OMG, she totally served cake with a cake knife she licked before cutting the cake! Can I be mad that she didn't invite me to her party even though I invited her to mine? He came to my house for dinner without even so much as a bottle of wine!

The Junior League monthly newsletter for October even offered advice on handwritten notes from Laura Bush's Deputy Director of Correspondence. The 3 best etiquette tips from the article:

-Always include a prefix on the envelope, and all women are Ms. after they turn 18.

-Always hand write the notes.

-Thank you notes should be sent within 2 days.

I got two tickets to Washington Hebrew for Yom Kippur as part of my membership. I gave the Master my extra one. I wouldn't except money, but she donated money to the temple in my name as a thank you (tickets would have been $75). It was unnecessary, however a definite sign of good manners!

3) The Fashion Equation

I've stopped growing. I've also stopped wearing extremely trendy pieces (a la leggings and denim mini skirts which should not be sold in size 4 or larger. Ladies, please, spare my eyes!!!).

At around 25, women start spending more on their clothing and buying less useless one-hit-wonder pieces. Yesterday at Saks, the Master was debating buying velvet Vince shorts. Out Saturday night, we saw a girl wearing wool shorts with a long sleeved black tee and black satin round toe pumps. It was very well done. However, the Master decided there weren't enough occasion that would be weather friendly enough to buy the shorts.

I honestly spend just as much, if not more, on my clothing now. But, I don't hit Old Navy and TJ Maxx every weekend to find a new something special to wear out. Instead, I invest in quality clothing that fits me well. The fashion equation, for those who aren't familiar with it, is that the real value of item= the cost of the item divided by the number of times you wore it. I never understood it until I wore my $225 shoes 2 times a week for 2 years and only wore my $50 pair twice before selling them on EBay for $12.50.

4) Appointment TV

Rather empathy for friends with appointment TV. I don't have DVR anymore, so I finally (after 12+ years of owning one) taught myself how to program my VCR to tape Gilmore Girls every Tuesday night and America's Next Top Model every Wednesday night. It's then hard to justify when my mother says "I'm sorry your sick and dying, but can I call you back after Grey's is over."

5) Sleep Debt

I read in Glamour (or Cosmo or Marie Claire or one of the 1200 magazines I read every month) that you should be sleeping 8 hours each night. If you don't get those 8 hours, while you may not be tired immediately, you'll start to create a sleep debt for yourself. In order to make up the sleep deprivation, you must sleep for half the total time of the hours you missed. Meaning, if you slept 5 hours for 5 nights, you'll be 15 hours in sleep dept. To get rid of your under eye circles, you'll need to catch up on 7 1/2 hours of sleep over the weekend.

I didn't fully comprehend the idea of accumulating sleep dept until I realized that after a business week of sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night, I can't just sleep 10 hours a night on the weekends and be caught up. I am now way more aware of needing several nights in bed at 10pm each work week.

My message on gchat today: Happy 25th to Me!

Peter: oh quit it
Sam: quit what?
Peter: your little state of denial? :-P
Sam: oh shoosh. I am 25! Born in er, 1981.
Peter: whatever
Sam: Graduated college in 2005. Man, being in my Sophomore year of college during Sept 11th was tough, and I was so bummed when Dawson's went off the air. What's with this 90210 crap anyways?
Peter: i stopped reading...
Sam: Wanna get drunk after kickball and go to Adams Morgan! I hear they are having $1 drafts
and Tom Toms!
Peter: Funny
Sam: I've got this pair of Express jeans that look great! Oh, and a brand new hot pink tube top. Paris was totally wearing it in US Weekly.
Peter: This is your conception of someone 2 years younger than you? lol.
Sam: Tehe, yes, maybe.
Peter: Things much change pretty dramatically during those critical 2 years of maturation.
Sam: well, sort of.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
To: Sam
Sent: Thu, 5 Oct 2006 10:29 AM
Subject: Josh's IM away message

Josh's IM away message says "happy birthday sis"...That's so sweet, no?

-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
To: Sam
Sent: Thu, 5 Oct 2006 10:27 AM
Subject: Fwd: Happy Birthday from your Allstate Agent/too weird!!!!

Happy Birthday Sam. You've received an e-greeting from your Allstate agent, Maurice BrownClick the link below to see what Maurice Brown has sent you.


-----Original Message-----
From: AC
Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 10:16 AM
To: Sam
Subject: Happy Birthday!!

Hey, just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday! I hope that you have a wonderful day and get to rock out your new extravagant shoe purchase over a great dinner!

On gchat with Suave:

Suave: Happy Birthday!!! :)
Sam: Thanks can't believe i'm 25!
Suave: Ha
Sam: My shoes are pretty. I like them so much. I may dump APK and date them instead.

26 years and 364 days old

Today is, sadly, the very last day of my mid-20s. Tomorrow, I turn 27. 3 years till 30.

When I was home in Bama, I looked through a couple of my old photo albums from college and high school. I didn't realize how much baby fat I had on my face. I was commenting on how I understand now how women can look better at 30 then at 21. APK, not filtering anything he said apparently-"Yeah right that any woman looks better at 30 then 21." "OMG!" I yelled, "I'm closer to 30 now than 21!" The next morning I stuck a pencil under my boob to see if it would hold. The pencil dropped, so I was happy about that at least.

On gchat-

Sam: Let's see how you respond. I never realized how much baby fat I had on my face until I was 21. I was, like, a size 0 with chubby cheeks.

Peter: Wait, baby fat at 21? Baby fat goes away when you're 5. That's just fat on your face.

So as to not be overly depressed about today, my 26th year+ 264th day on earth, I've decided to think positively about this last year. Reflect, if you will, on where I've been and who I've met and what I've learned. I'm making a list of 27 reasons why this year has been good.

1. I'm lucky to have been in both NYC and DC this year. I turned 26 in New York with my college friends Ali and Jill smoking hookah with me at trendy Le Souk. A month later, I was living and working in DC.

2. My ranking on computer Scrabble moved from Beginner to the Intermediate/ Advanced level.

3. I got over Jerk and met APK and have been dating him for 10 months, as of tomorrow.

4. According to my employment, I have been both a Nasty chick and then a Preservationist this year.

5. I have upgraded from a cubicle to an office (windowless, but still) this year.

6. I have joined my College Alumni Steering Committee and the Junior League.

7. I have thrown a Tahitian-themed party with raffia covering my house, a dinner at the Woodrow Wilson House with chocolates shaped like top hats for dessert, several dinner parties, my first Shabbat dinner party, and run the silent auction at the Washington Design Center's Design House.

8. I have attended Fox News' holiday party, the Lockheed Martin holiday party, the live season finale of Treasure Hunters, swing dancing at the Josephine Butler Park Center, Jazz on Jackson Place at Decatur House, and so many other fabulous events.

9. Two of my best friends got engaged.

10. One of my best friends moved to Colorado to become a PHD in map making.

11. I've met more new, and great, friends than I could have ever imagined meeting!

12. I've lived in two beautiful late 1800s townhouses. I've bought my most expensive bedding ever (well, my Mom bought me it, but still). I've finally framed 3 vintage music sheets I bought at a flea market in 2000. I've moved in with a female roommate for the first time since college, and I can't say enough about how much happier I am having someone else around!

13. I've gotten over my issue with buying myself jewelry. I used to say that jewelry in ancient times was given to Kings and Queens to adorn them with the adoration of their country. Buying your own jewelry, in my old opinion, was being self-righteous. I've gotten over that. I love myself, and I'm proud of it!

14. Agnes B makeup through CCB Paris is no longer available. I loved the apricot tinted face lotion ($18). After switching to Chanel's Hydromax tinted makeup ($50), I discovered Botanics by Boots Pharmacy at Target ($8) and have now gotten over the loss of the apricot glow on my face.

15. My cousin Jeff and I have realized that our differences can work to our advantage. He can help me with computers and I can help him with clothes. The turning point came when he was helping me purchase my new Dell Computer online. Right at the purchase page, I noticed a coupon code area. I asked him to open a new window and search for "Dell Coupon Codes." Sure enough, a 30% off code appeared. We typed it in and saved my father $300. He was definitely impressed. "Jeff," I said, "computers I may not know, but shopping, I know."

16. The artery leading to my kidney ended up being disformed not clogged! With some daily blood pressure medicine and a reduction in salt, I didn't need surgery afterall!

17. Mobile got a Macaroni Grill, so visits home now are much more tasty. I once made my mother turn around on the highway to design our own pasta.

18. Ali sent me postcards from Moscow, Paris, and Shanghai. Suave brought me back pineapple wood spoons from Hawaii. Even though I've not really be out of the country, it has been nice to sort of pretend I've been.

19. I bought my first and second pair of Ferragamo shoes only to discover they are the most pleasurable pads for your feet out there.

20. My Mommy bought me a huge Amethyst cocktail ring like I've always wanted! It is double the size of the one I hinted that Jerk should buy me at the Movado outlet in Manchester, VT. Of course, he never got the clue. This is just to prove that my Mom rocks!

21. I learned how to barbecue all by myself. With the help of Gene, I even learned how to use hickory chips. Who needs a man anyhow?

22. I joined my first place of worship by myself as an adult. Okay, so I just joined a couple of weeks ago because membership was cheap. I still feel like a real live responsible adult. (Funniest line on Gilmore Girls last night, Laureli to Rori, "Grownups don't call themselves grownups. They say adults. Well actually they say ah-dults.")

23. I tried tubing in West Virginia for the first time. It wasn't a great experience, but still.

24. Salmon and tuna steak aren't bad at all! I just learned that this year too.

25. In Boston for New Years 2006, I realized that my friends from college are such a blessing of mine. No one could ask for a more supportive and loving group of girls in their life!

26. I read at least 25 books including Freakonomics, which I was peer pressured into reading so that I could understand people at parties when they quote it. On a side note, I also learned where people who were ugly, socially awkward dorks and somehow got hotter, smarter, or wealthier go to make a life for themselves- DC.

27. And finally- I deleted my old blog entirely and started new. The old one was filled with my post-breakup-from-Jerk traumas. I realized I was over it and him, and I was able to start fresh this year in a new city with a new blog.

Bob Woodward, Starving Away Sins, and Broccoli Casserole

That's pretty much the summary of my weekend.

Bob Woodward is a vain a-hole!

I was volunteering at the National Book Festival Saturday afternoon. I was at Book Signing Tent 2 for most of the day. My tent hosted a fabulously nice Robert V. Remini, who told us the 3-book-signing rule was not applicable to him and chatted with each and every person who waited in line to have him sign copies of his books. He even remembered one woman who's husband proposed to her on the House floor. She had sent him a letter. According to Remini, when he received the letter, he told a person on his staff to record it as historical information to the House of Representatives which has only hosted one wedding in the 1800s and one proposal... this woman. We hosted 2 other very nice authors.

Bob Woodward was scheduled to arrive for signing at Book Tent #1 at 3pm. People started getting in line for his signature at 8:45am. By the time I got to the Mall at 12:30, lines 1-4 were full. By 2:30pm, there were 8 lines. His rules were only one book signed per person with no personalizations. At 3pm, an ostentatious amount of security and press were standing by Tent #1 awaiting his arrival. At 3:15 pm, three golf carts filled with security guards arrived with Woodward in the middle. Beside his center cart, two guards walked on either end. Following the carts, two Policeman in full uniform trotted along. He left at 4:15pm. He got through 3 1/2 lines. Now, in comparison...

At 2:30pm, I moved over to Tent #4. Mo Willems', best-selling children's book author, line was already forming for his 4pm, he had 5 lines. Mo Willems stayed an extra half-hour to get through each of those lines. He allowed 3 books to be signed with personalizations as requested. He had to use the bathroom at one point, so he got up, actually ran to the public port-o-potties, and returned to sign books. Bob Woodward's a pretentious a-hole apparently.


Broccoli Casserole is delicious.

I hosted break the fast last night at my apartment. I'm in love with this recipe, by the way. Though, I made the bread crumbs out of Ritz, Cheese-Its, and a 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese. Paula Deen's recipes are always sooooo good. I try to just ignore (and not gag) when she says "the most important ingredient in Southern food is lots of love."